Emotional maturity is a term used to name those people who have a high EQ. These are people who understand their emotions and those of others , have good social skills and regulate their behaviour to adapt it to the moment and the environment.
Emotional maturity can be reached , but it is necessary to carry out a series of habits and behaviours to achieve it.
Habits for achieving emotional maturity
It should be noted that emotional maturity is linked to personal development , that is, it develops over time through certain habits. Although it is true that there are some courses in emotional intelligence that can be useful in acquiring emotional skills, many people learn these behaviours as they relate to other individuals and experiment with different life situations.
Emotional maturity is intimately linked to psychological well-being , as several studies state that emotionally intelligent people are happier and more successful in life.
1. Pay full attention
Mindfulness is a term that has become very popular today with the rise of Mindfulness, but it has an ancient origin, being rooted in Buddhism and its beliefs. The truth is that mindfulness makes us emotionally intelligent, makes us aware of our emotions and thoughts and helps us to pay attention to the context around us, to better adapt to it.
People who work with full attention enjoy greater emotional balance and have a non-judgmental mentality , in addition they treat each other with compassion and accept life’s failures.
Since mindfulness is the first step towards change, you may find it helpful to practice Mindfulness with these exercises: “5 Mindfulness exercises to improve your emotional well-being”.
2. You learn from mistakes
Acceptance is one of the keys to emotional well-being and is indispensable if we want to be happy . Life teaches us that things will not always turn out the way we want, but many times we can be too hard on ourselves.
Actually, if we have the right attitude, failures can be good opportunities to grow . That is why it is necessary to leave perfectionism aside, because no matter how much we think it is good for us, it is bad for us. You can learn more about perfectionism in this article: “Perfectionist Personality: The Disadvantages of Perfectionism”
3. Develops assertiveness
Emotional maturity is usually expressed in interpersonal relationships when communicating with other people, and although we will not always agree with the opinions of others, it is possible to accept them and say what we think without disrespecting anyone.
This is what is known as being assertive, because assertiveness is a style of communication in which, despite not agreeing with what another person says or thinks, we act without being rude and we show confidence and security, always respecting . Assertiveness is a key social skill.
4. Know thyself
Self-knowledge is one of the principles of emotional intelligence, and therefore of maturity in managing emotions. Because knowing oneself and understanding the emotions we experience is necessary to be able to regulate these emotions.
To improve emotional self-knowledge it is good to keep a diary of emotions . In the emotional diary you can write down every night before going to bed the emotions you have experienced during the day and reflect on them.
5. Active listening
Active listening is one of the essential qualities that people must possess in order to relate successfully to other individuals. Active listening is not the same as hearing. We often think that putting our ear to the ground when someone speaks to us is really listening, but in reality it is not.
Active listening is not thinking about what we want to say before a person has finished speaking, it is paying attention not only to his verbal but also to his non-verbal language, and it is knowing how to read beyond the words . You can deepen the concept of active listening in this article: “Active listening: the key to communicating with others”
6. Emotionally validates others
Emotional validation refers to learning, understanding and expressing acceptance of another individual’s emotional experience.
It has to do with empathy and acceptance of others’ emotions, but also with expression, that is, letting them know. In other words, validation is not just accepting emotions, but this acceptance must be communicated to the other person.
To better understand this concept, you can read this article: “Emotional validation: 6 basic tips to improve it”.
7. Improves emotional control
Mastering EQ skills is necessary to regulate emotions , and is only possible when one has knowledge of one’s emotional experience. Although sometimes people can get carried away by the situation, we have the capacity to reflect and make good decisions.
It often takes a willingness to know how to regulate emotions. With the article “How to control emotions, with 11 effective strategies” you can start learning how to do it, although developing maximum competence in this type of ability is something that requires time, effort and self-knowledge.
8. Prioritizes the “we” in interpersonal relationships
Emotional maturity makes sense in relationships with other people, i.e. in social relationships. With regard to the partner or in the work environment it is appropriate to prioritize the “we” over the “I”.
In the case of work, for example, the union makes the force, and in the case of the couple, thinking about both helps to overcome conflicts . The fact is that it is common to lose control with the people we love, and it is not strange that we focus on our own needs and leave aside those of others. Emotional maturity is understanding this.
9. Disappear when necessary
Attachment is not necessarily bad, as ties to loved ones help us grow and develop. However, many people become attached to objects and even to their stories about what is right or wrong.
Growing emotionally means being critical of reality, living in the present and being aware of what is attachment. To avoid emotional pain, it is necessary to learn to detach ourselves from our beliefs , our thoughts, our memories and, ultimately, our private events.
10. Leave the past behind
Detachment also includes leaving the past behind and living the present moment, because we can no longer live the past . As I have said, frustrations can help us to grow, because when we get stuck in previous times of our life we don’t move forward.
Of course we have to take into account what happened, but only as raw material for learning. Nothing we have done in the past serves to put a “label” on us that determines how we should behave. Accepting that our actions and our emotions are flexible is a necessary step in growing up.
11. Stop complaining
Criticizing yourself for what you didn’t do right and criticizing others is paralyzing. Emotional maturity means being realistic and constantly on the move. That is why it is necessary to learn from mistakes and use bad experiences to grow as a person.