Relationships can be complicated and go through bad times, but sometimes the crises are too frequent and the discomfort of the couple is too lasting.
These are relationships in which the personality of the members, the lack of trust between them, the excess of control or jealousy turn the couple into a toxic courtship .
Signs of a Toxic Dating
It is common that many times people who are in such a relationship are not aware of it, due to habit and inertia, or are not able to put an end to it. Therefore, in this article I have prepared a list of signs that will allow you to detect if you are in a toxic relationship
However, it should be noted that everyone at some point in their lives can go through a bad period , and the same is true of relationships. So even if some of these behaviours are manifested at some point, it does not necessarily mean that it is a toxic relationship. In addition, relationships can often be restored to stability through couples therapy.
Approval of love and lack of trust
Toxic dating is often characterized by a lack of trust by either partner, which makes it difficult for the relationship to stabilize .Low self-esteem or excessive emotional dependence also make the relationship unhealthy. Some signs may be:
1. You don’t feel able to trust your partner when it comes to revealing something sensitive or talking about your emotions.
2. You or your partner constantly seek approval from love, because you are not comfortable with your life.
3. There is great emotional dependence or emotional codependence for your party and/or theirs
4. You never seek emotional support from your partner because you do not feel understood.
5. Your partner does not take your emotions into account and your relationship lacks moments of intimacy or emotional connection .
6. It can treat you with excessive paternalism, making it difficult to develop a healthy relationship.
Often over-controlled relationships are toxic because communication does not flow and one prohibits the person from being free and having his or her own way of thinking. Controlling attitudes include:
7. Keep track of your accounts and your financial expenses, and constantly ask for explanations of any spending.
8. Because she constantly monitors you and is aggressive, you avoid telling her about your problems because of the way she reacts.
9. Decisions that affect both are made by him or her. Does not take into account your opinion .
10. Control your social networks and phone conversations.
11. Try not to tell your problems to someone outside the relationship (for example, your family) in case your partner finds out.
Miscommunication and toxic behaviors constantly create conflict. The atmosphere of the relationship is not tolerant and does not encourage reconciliation . Some examples are:
12. The lack of communication causes constant conflict between the two.
13. You feel exhausted or worn out when you should be happy to have the partner you have. This affects you in the different spheres of your life: work, your relationships with others, etc.
14. You live in a hostile environment . You know you shouldn’t be in that environment but you always end up coming back.
Control over the couple and insecurity leads to jealousy attitudes and behavior, which makes the couple unhappy. Both partners suffer, and these behaviors can include
15. Get angry when you spend time with friends and family.
16. He often asks about your schedule and questions your version of events.
17. When you date someone of the opposite sex, your partner gets angry.
A relationship cannot be healthy when there is disrespect . Trust and respect are basic pillars of any healthy relationship. In toxic couples these behaviours can appear:
18. He insults you regularly.
19. Does not respect your opinion and underestimates your words, in public or in private .
20. Pay no attention to your achievements, and do your best to play down your merits.
21. Such is the lack of respect, that even in front of others you try not to give your opinion since you are afraid of what I might say.
22. He is constantly criticizing the way you dress and the way you behave.
23. He never forgets the mistakes you have made in the past, so he brings them up again and again as soon as he can.
24. It not only humiliates you in private, but also in public.
25. Your partner isn’t interested in making things right for you.
26. Your partner is more concerned about receiving than giving . It is an asymmetric relationship.
Toxic attitudes in the sexual environment
Sex is related to the well-being of the couple, and there are many studies that corroborate this hypothesis. However, it is not a question of the quantity of sex, but of the quality of the intimate relationships. In toxic relationships these behaviours can appear:
27. Your partner does not make you feel good about your body and your intimacy, and does so on purpose.
28. You frequently have sex without feeling like it, just to please and avoid their anger.
29. It causes you to engage in sexual behavior that you don’t really want simply because you use blackmail to get it.
30. He often compares you to his ex-partners to make you feel bad.
Blackmailing and manipulative behaviour
Emotional blackmail is characteristic of toxic dating, and is a very harmful but silent form of abuse in the couple. In the article “El blackmail emocional: una poderosa forma de manipulación en la pareja” (Emotional blackmail: a powerful form of manipulation in the couple) this subject is explored in depth. This psychological manipulation can manifest itself in the following ways:
31. When he acts to do you a favor, he seeks immediate compensation.
32. If you don’t do what he wants, he gets angry easily and throws it in your face.
33. You feel undervalued and continually tells you that you are nothing without him or her .
34. He never gives in to arguments. Either he or she is right or the fight gets out of hand. .
36. He blames you for his failures , even those outside the relationship, e.g. at work,