Few life experiences are as painful as falling out of love. Feeling the rejection of our ex-partner leads us to live a mourning process that can last several months. And as I explained in our article “The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug”, this experience is comparable to that experienced by a drug addict who wants to leave behind his addiction to a psychoactive substance, because the neuronal circuits that are activated when someone uses drugs, also do so when we fall in love.
During this time, we may experience a neurochemical imbalance that leads to sadness and obsession, as the levels of some neurochemicals in the brain (e.g. serotonin) are altered. Our emotional balance is affected, but with time and following the advice you can find in this link it is possible to overcome it. Even if the lack of love is painful, it is an excellent opportunity to learn . As the saying goes “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”.
Benefits of partner breakup (well managed)
If you are experiencing heartbreak, you may feel that you will always be like this: discouraged, constantly thinking about that person you love, keeping an eye on your mobile phone in case you receive a call or a message from them that never arrives… Well, once you have overcome a series of phases, and although you may not believe it now, the break-up of a couple also has its benefits . What are they? In the following lines I will explain them to you.
1. Makes you stronger and more resilient
Painful situations affect us all, what changes from one individual to another is how we deal with them. They say that people learn from curiosity and pain, and painful situations help us discover new psychological tools and adaptive behaviors because they test us, they lead us to emotionally borderline situations. Overcoming disaffection, for example, is growing as individuals .
It can also happen that, during the relationship, you have made mistakes, and learning from the mistakes is something that has happened to all of us. When we feel the pain of a loss, we can always learn something positive . In this learning process we become stronger and, once we have overcome this difficult stage, we become more prepared to face similar situations in the future. Although heartbreak always hurts, this learning can mean less suffering in the future.
However, it is important to bear in mind that in order to learn from the past, it is necessary to carry out a profound self-reflection and question the meaning of this experience , otherwise, learning will not take place.
2. Allows you to leave the comfort zone
Negative emotions that arise during this stage can be used in a positive way. For example, anger is excellent for mobilizing us if we focus it on concrete goals that can help us grow rather than on our ex. Disaffection hurts, but if we overcome it in a healthy way it can lead us to get out of our comfort zone, reinvent ourselves and try things that we might not try if we were in the comfort of our partner.
When they leave us, we have two options: sink or move . Moving can lead to positive change, and that is why many experts say that the best way to overcome disaffection is to fight for our own personal development.
3. It helps you to know yourself better
Living as a couple has often made us very dependent on our partner because we share many moments together. In some cases, those who have been together for a long time, have serious difficulties to even know themselves . This moment of instability can lead many people to experience an existential crisis, that is, a crisis of identity. If the best way to overcome the lack of love is to fight for one’s own personal development, this requires a high level of self-knowledge.
4. Improve your relationships in the future
Every relationship we have can be a learning experience for future relationships, and can help us choose partners who best fit our personality, our tastes and our interests. For example, it is often said that second love is better than first love.
Some relationships can be traumatic, and although it may be hard to leave them because of emotional dependence, in time one realizes that it was the best option. In these cases, the breakup of a relationship can help us find greater peace of mind if we are able to regain confidence in ourselves and regain our self-esteem. For this, the best alternative is to fight for what makes you happy .
Love is one of the best experiences that we human beings can have; however, relationships do not always end well. Lack of love, therefore, can be a very painful experience, but if we know how to take advantage of this difficult situation, we can grow as people and be happier . Learning from mistakes is possible and, in fact, we have all done it at some point in our lives. If the relationship ended, it was probably to find something better.