5 reasons to go to couples therapy
What is the point in which it makes all the sense in the world to go to therapy sessions to solve marital or dating problems? There is no easy answer to this question, and this is part of the problem: in the face of uncertainty, we often tend not to react in time.
That’s why it’s worth stopping to think about the state of the couple’s relationship that we are maintaining and what state it could be in if we were committed to a process of improvement with the participation of psychotherapy professionals. To what extent can a love bond change for the better if we don’t even look for help from someone who can contribute it from his or her professional experience supporting many other people with similar problems?
If you are interested in knowing what you can get from this kind of psychological intervention, read on; here we will know the main reasons why it is beneficial to go to couples therapy , as a summary.
Why go to couples therapy?
Couples therapy is not simply a place to go to blow off steam, or to find a place where there is a “referee” to mediate between two people caught up in a conflict full of recurring arguments. It is more than that: it is a form of psychological intervention that has proved effective in getting love relationships flowing again through the right channels.
Of course, going to the psychologist as a couple will not stop discussions from arising, nor will it stop the personalities of one and the other from clashing in certain aspects; the idea of “fixing” marriages and engagements in this way is unrealistic. However, the professional support of experts in the psychology of communication, sexuality and emotions makes it easier to get out of moments of crisis and avoid entering new ones.
Here we will look at the main reasons why it is worth going to couples therapy if there is something in the relationship that is not working; these are key ideas that help to understand what kind of psychological intervention this is.
1. Gives the opportunity to re-establish trust
There are times when an event that is perceived as a betrayal almost completely breaks the trust between the members of the couple. Normally this happens when one or more infidelities are discovered , but in reality it can be caused by a wide variety of situations.
In these cases, even if these two people continue to live together and do couple’s activities, nothing is the same, since life together is lived unilaterally, adopting a defensive attitude and fearing to open up to the other for fear that he or she may later use that against us. In other words, although the relationship has not been formally broken, it has lost its backbone , and can no longer contribute almost anything.
This is one of the cases in which it is most useful to go to couples’ therapy; having the perspective of a third person who also has professional experience in not taking sides allows you to re-weave that bond of trust that allows the relationship to be consistent and much more stable again.
2. It helps to explore the relationship between love and sexuality
Many times, love problems affect sexual life, and vice versa . Psychologists with experience in couples therapy, due to their training, are able to have a global perspective on how these two aspects of life interact, and propose joint and/or individual sessions depending on the nature of each of the pieces of the problem to be treated.
3. Allows you to find habits that reinforce the relationship
Psychologists who offer couples therapy don’t just ask questions; a very important part of their work is to provide information and propose programs for adopting new habits. If we incorporate these habits into our daily routines, we create many more situations in which the love bond can be nourished by those experiences lived together.
It should not be forgotten that love does not live in an isolated way in the heart of each individual , but is composed of small actions. The therapist will not be the one to make these actions emerge, but he or she will make it easier for us to be exposed to moments when this kind of affective behaviour can emerge much more easily, compared to the way of life and the styles of communication we had adopted before going to the first session of couples therapy.
4. Create a space where there is less fear of expression
In everyday situations, it is easy for a person to be afraid to tell their partner how they feel about aspects of the relationship that make them uncomfortable, since these kinds of statements are very easily seen as attacks and accusations.
This phenomenon is greatly minimized in couples therapy, because there is a professional there who is dedicated to having each person express these thoughts aloud .
5. Helps to raise topics of conversation
Although love relationships and living together are very important in our lives (to the extent that our life with and without a boyfriend/girlfriend is usually very different), that does not mean that everything that happens in this aspect of life has been totally consensual. Many times, things are just as they are, without us questioning them, due to the respect that we have for raising certain issues.
Couple’s therapy is perfect for breaking the ice in this sense ; this can serve to discover new compatibilities in both and to avoid asymmetries in which one person suffers without the other knowing it.
Are you interested in going to couples therapy?
If you live in the Barcelona area and think that you could benefit from couples therapy to give your relationship a chance to improve, you can count on our team of professionals at the Psicotools psychology centre , whose facilities are located at Avinguda de Vallcarca nº 196, in the northern part of the district of Gràcia.
Using a combination of different techniques and therapeutic tools, we help marriages and relationships in crisis to solve problems of communication, lack of confidence, lack of compatibility in sexual life, infidelity crisis, and many other disorders that can affect the love bond and coexistence.
If you are interested in seeing our contact details and reading more about what we offer, you will find more information about the Psicotools centre by accessing this page.
- Christensen A., Atkins D.C., Baucom B., Yi J. (2010). “Marital status and satisfaction five years following a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional versus integrative behavioral couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 78 (2): 225 – 235.
- Lewis, T.; Amini, F.; Lannon, R. (2000). A General Theory of Love. Random House.
- Morgan, J.P. (1991). What is codependency? Journal of Clinical Psychology 47(5): pp. 720 – 729.