Adolescence is a time of change and sometimes rebellion, so it can be difficult for a parent to manage a relationship with a child of this age. During this vital period, adolescents can experience hormonal changes, identity-seeking situations and frustrations that can determine their behavior and relationship with their loved ones.
The relationship with the parents, due to their closeness and the attempt of the parents to control their behaviour, can lead to complex situations and high intensity conflicts. In large part because adolescents wish to be more independent and live life their own way.
Many parents go through delicate situations when dealing with their children. In this article, I propose some tips for understanding them and dealing with your teenager .
Adolescence is a complicated time
Adolescence is a difficult time and many parents may feel overwhelmed . We have all been through adolescence, and we know how tense relationships with our parents can become during this stage. It is at this time that people begin to explore new horizons and understand that there is a world waiting outside the family. An adolescent is more sensitive to events that take place far from the family nucleus, which prepares them for later stages and adult life.
This stage is key to achieving sufficient confidence, a strong personality, and to being a successful adult in different areas of life, and in these years one learns to gain the acceptance of others, especially those of the same age. It is no longer enough for the family to accept and support their children, and those parents who understand this change, will help the child grow up healthier psychologically and be more prepared to face the challenges that life may demand of them in the future.
Tips for understanding and treating a teenager
Being a parent of a teenager can be challenging, and conflict can arise at any time. That is why it is necessary to know how to manage the situation effectively. However, first of all it is essential to be empathetic and understand the behaviour of our teenagers. How can we do this? By following the advice shown below.
1. Be willing to understand
It’s easy to get carried away and get into conflict when a child seems to be going his own way. But interpersonal relationships with children at this age are complicated for a number of reasons. It is not a matter of yielding to a child’s whims, but understanding the situation as it is will help you manage conflicts better and make wise decisions .
Therefore, we must strive to adopt the son or daughter’s perspective, and take into account the whole set of elements that are influencing the way they live their lives and value their own happiness and concerns.
2. Think about when you were a teenager
Following the line of the previous point, remember what you were like as a teenager. To understand your child, it is good to put yourself in their shoes and think about yourself at their age. You may not have been the same, but you weren’t perfect either. The need for independence, the desire to explore , the search for identity… are characteristic behaviours of this age that can generate family conflicts.
3. Respects their needs
It’s easy to think that, just because you’re a parent, you can take an authoritarian stance on your child. However, it is always better to listen to their needs and come to agreements.
This way, you can know where the limits are and allow him certain levels of independence without having to cross them. This alternative is much better than using dominance, which introduces one more obstacle to the relationship and makes effective communication more difficult.
4. Let him make his own mistakes
Experience can be a good way to learn, because the impact it has on us can mark us positively if we know how to analyze the situation and develop resources to avoid making mistakes again. Don’t be an overprotective parent. As far as possible, and as long as there is no great risk to your child, let him/her experience .
5. Communicate with him or her
One of the biggest mistakes parents can make is to take a position of superiority and domination over their children. Because, as in any interpersonal relationship, communication is always more effective. If your child feels respected, loved, and the communication flows, he will find in you the support he needs to grow as a person.
6. Active listening
This point is closely related to the previous one, and because it improves communication. It is not a matter of hearing what he says, but of listening to him in both his verbal and non-verbal language. If you remember your teenage years, you will know that it was not easy. Now is the time to be at your child’s side . In the end, one of the reasons why many teenage sons and daughters disregard the possibility of talking to their parents is that the latter supposedly don’t understand them, and not actively listening confirms this prejudice.
How to behave in front of a rebellious teenager?
Some parents, those with rebellious children, can have a really hard time with how their child behaves. They are questioning, angry young people , who often do not respect the rules and who may come to see the parents as the enemies.
Many parents in this situation do not know how to react and what to do in their daily situations. Although they are not guilty, they can find themselves in complex and painful contexts. It is not easy to manage this situation.
If you feel identified with these lines, in the article “Rebellious Teens: 6 Tips and Thoughts for Parents in Distress” you can learn more about how to deal with this situation.