Relationships are a constant negotiation, so you can’t always agree on everything . Sometimes, either because of the differences between the two members, or because of some betrayal or other reasons, relationships can come to an end.
But it’s not always easy to stop talking to a former partner, especially when the flame is still alive. Doubts can pop into your head if you keep in touch. “Should I give my ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend another chance?”, “Is it good to try again?” Every relationship is a world. However, there are problems and advantages of returning to your ex-partner . In this article we will go over them.
Recommended article: “Why can’t I stop thinking about my ex-partner? 4 keys to understanding him”
Say goodbye to my ex-partner or try again?
While there may be reasons to return to your ex-partner, this is not always possible, as one of us may want to end it all and say goodbye for good.
Overcoming disaffection is not easy . There are many memories that we leave behind, and the emotional consequences that the new reality generates make us live this moment as the end of the world.
So, if you find yourself in that moment when the relationship is over and you don’t see the possibility of reconciliation. We invite you to read this article: “The 5 phases to overcome the grief of the breakup”
The reasons for the break
The first thing you should think about when you get back together with your ex is what were the reasons for your breakup . Because obviously it’s not the same if the cause of your break-up is an argument about what to do on a Saturday night or. instead, if the reason for the break-up is that your ex has slept with your best friend. Therefore, you should reflect on whether it really is a big deal that led to your separation or if, on the contrary, it is almost impossible for you to trust that person again.
There are individuals who would never return to someone who has been unfaithful to them, and instead there are others who can overcome the situation without so much difficulty. So before returning to your ex-partner you must do some self-reflective work that will allow you to face your fears and overcome them.
Related article: “Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection”
What are the problems or advantages of returning to the person you have loved so much? Here they are
Disadvantages of returning to your ex-partner
Let’s start with the negative part: what disadvantages and problems arise when a former partner decides to return?
1. I may not be what I was
It may be that after leaving the relationship, the return is no longer the same. It all depends on the reason for the problem and the lack of respect and trust that the break-up has caused. Regaining someone’s trust is difficult… but not impossible.
If you want to recover the degree of intimacy that existed between you, you can visit our post: “9 tips to regain someone’s trust”
2. It keeps you from growing
If you’ve tried over and over again with the same person but you keep making the same mistake, you need to rethink your decision. Falling back on the same rock can mean that you are afraid to step out of your comfort zone, which prevents you from growing and developing.
3. You close the door to something new
When you live in your comfort zone, you’re closing doors on yourself. Those doors, if opened, can mean a better life together with another person . I’m sure there are possible candidates who could make you very happy. So don’t be afraid of uncertainty and take a step forward.
4. The damage could be greater
Relations are eroding with conflicts . This means that if you are constantly forgiving someone for their mistakes (in case they are yours) there will be more and more reasons for them to show up. So be mature and try not to let the situation get out of hand.
5. There may be grudges
Depending on the reason for the problem, you may never get over what happened. If the reason is an infidelity, not everyone is prepared to forget it. If a grudge is present during the relationship, it will hardly end well .
6. You may not have the courage to stop
One of the big problems of getting back together with your ex is that you have low self-esteem or lack of confidence in yourself, and the reason for the return is that you don’t have enough guts to leave him. This makes you a dependent person.
If you wish, you can improve your self-esteem with this post: “10 keys to increase your self-esteem in 30 days”
Benefits of returning to your ex-partner
But not everything is bad in this life. When we decide to go back to a previous partner, we can see the following advantages.
1. You already know each other
One of the positive things about returning to your ex-partner is that you already know each other and there is already an emotional connection between you . If you want to get back together with your ex it is because there are positive aspects of that person that you want to keep in your life. Now it’s time to work on those things that separate you. This way the relationship can go better
2. You have the opportunity to try again with someone who surely loves you
And of course, you both want to come back because you know there’s something special between you. Are you going to let that person go? Everyone deserves a second chance. So does he or she .
3. You can learn from mistakes
Conflicts are a common occurrence in relationships. But with dialogue, respect and honesty they can be overcome . If you both do your part, it is possible to learn from your mistakes.
4. You may be closer
You may have missed it after you left and realized how important you are to each other. In these cases, getting back together may mean that you are closer than before .
5. If there are children by means… it can be good for them
And what about having children? Well, surely, if you get back together and are happy, your children will thank you. Isn’t it worth trying for them?
6. You don’t feel like trying again
It is normal for doubts to arise about whether or not you should return to your ex-partner. If you decide to return, you will at least know whether or not you should try again . On the other hand, if you decide not to come back, you may wonder whether you should have given him a second chance or not.