Humour is a tool that can allow us to open many doors in life , being a person with a gift for people often implies knowing how to develop a humour that makes us the centre of a conversation.

Moreover, it is an inexhaustible source of happiness: the more we know how to laugh at ourselves and at circumstances, the more pleasant our existence becomes.

Smile Phrases for Humor

To show others that we are a sociable and friendly person it can be very good to know what to say at the right time, so in the following article we are going to show you 80 smile phrases that are also very funny to get your best version and be the center of a conversation.

1. The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.

It is not possible to achieve success without having worked for it first, and those who achieve it know this very well.

2. Down with drugs!… Yours truly: Those in the basement.

A funny phrase that said in this way has a different meaning than the classic motto.

3. Are you happy? No, married.

Marriage can be a very difficult task, as living together can have its ups and downs.

4. Why are all Asians suspicious?

A humorous phrase that uses one of the typical features of Asian people to give it a particular meaning.

5. Isn’t a hard drive a CD made of iron?

If it’s hard, it should be made of a strong material, no doubt.

6. 1 feeling, 2 words; I’m hungry.

The need to eat can be something that touches our soul, it can also be an invitation in a group to go and eat.

7. Sometimes I forget my mistakes. Sorry, what was your name again?

A funny phrase with a double meaning that will no doubt leave those who say it speechless.

8. Before you point at me, wipe your finger.

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone, this sentence is another way of saying it.

9. You used to look like a bad person to me, now I can confirm it.

When we know someone is when we can attest to their personality. One of those smiling phrases to make an ironic gesture.

  • You may be interested in: “70 sarcastic phrases of the best thinkers, humorists and philosophers”

10. Looking for dragons to tame.

We all know that dragons do not exist, but it would certainly be a pet the sea of fun.

11. Shut up, you don’t let me see anything.

Sometimes, when they talk to us they don’t let us concentrate on what we want to focus on.

12. Closing an envelope is a breeze.

A bit of humour that talks about the classic gesture we have to make to close an envelope.

13. I think this eating thing is shrinking your clothes.

A good way of saying that we are in a growth phase, especially in terms of diameter.

14. When you feel sad, think of things that make you laugh: remember who got his ex’s name tattooed.

Making the mistake of tattooing the name of a person you’ve had a relationship with can eventually become a funny reminder of our immaturity.

15. Careful… I know karate… and other oriental words.

A sentence with a double meaning from which we do not expect the final meaning that makes it funny.

16. They say that he who laughs last laughs best, to me it seems that it is because he thinks very slowly.

Laughing at the wrong time can be a sign that you’ve taken the joke too late… who hasn’t?

17. The advice for when you have to work and don’t feel like it is to go to work unwillingly.

A funny motivational phrase, and no less true, sometimes we have no choice but to work even when our spirits are low.

18. Money doesn’t bring happiness, but I’d like to cry in a convertible.

I’ve never seen anyone crying inside a Ferrari, money doesn’t bring happiness but it puts us on the road.

19. The problem with closed minds is that their mouths are always open.

Without doubt the most intolerant people are those who most flaunt their opinions.

20. Tobacco kills slowly, and I’m in no hurry to die.

A funny way of dealing with the debate on tobacco use.

21. In life there are three groups of people, the smart ones, and people like me.

We all have among our friends someone who is not very good at math.

22. There is nothing stronger in life than love, except the cobwebs that swung so many elephants.

A phrase that reminds us of the famous archaic children’s song that we all sang when we were children.

23. In bed I have no limits… last night I fell twice…

Surpassing our own marks can be a wonderful thing in life, as long as those marks are not made by making mistakes.

24. To be wrong is human, but to blame a third party is intelligent human.

Funny phrase that also holds a certain wisdom, the wisdom of the born traitor.

25. It is possible to live in a better world, but not with my economy.

The economy of many of us can sometimes be somewhat austere, certainly one could live better but not with these resources.

26. The U.S. puts measures in place to avoid skipping traffic lights, apparently placing them 20 feet high.

I’m sure that at six meters high nobody jumps over them, I think it’s an excellent measure that other countries should certainly emulate.

27. Marital status: Tired.

The fatigue we carry in our lives can even figure on our identity cards.

28. I make chairs to measure, as I learn I will show you.

An ingenious phrase that no one expects to see the outcome of and can be used in any informal meeting between friends.

29. Blood group: Sometimes negative.

I didn’t know our blood type spoke of our personality too.

30. I have understood over the years that pleasing everyone is impossible, so I make them angry.

A good way to approach personal relationships is to be ourselves.

31. Today I wrote you something very profound: “underground”.

A phrase as profound as our personality and our personal humour.

32. People say you can’t live without love… I think oxygen is more important.

Oxygen and water are also at the top of my list of priorities, without which we would not last long enough.

33. Light travels faster than sound… that’s why people seem bright until they talk.

Sometimes it is better to be silent than to speak in order to look bad, the wise speak when they have something to say and the ignorant because they have to say something.

34. The latest research states that the business most exposed to bankruptcy this year is glassware.

Glassware is one of the most delicate businesses I know… why is that?

35. Too bad that diabetic can’t go on his honeymoon.

Our honeymoon can be a very sweet moment and most likely not suitable for diabetics.

36. The craziest prices are those charged by psychologists.

Psychologists have to deal with all sorts of crazy things in their day-to-day life, they lead a crazy life.

37. I love buying new things, but I hate spending money.

A funny phrase that can show others a somewhat bipolar mood on our part.

38. The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

We must be patient in those days and await the weekend with renewed hope.

39. I will go on a cruise on vacation, cross to the bedroom, cross to the kitchen, cross to the bathroom…

These are the cruises I take many times at the end of the year, sometimes I also cross the street.

40. I feel terrible, I think it’s this chair’s fault.

This is a very good two-way phrase to break the ice or try to tone down the conversation in which we may find ourselves.

41. There is no worse failure than being afraid of failure.

We must have initiative and fight for what we want to achieve, without being afraid of not achieving it at first.

42. My doctor got angry and I was on five diets at once.

Many of us don’t follow our diets to the letter… is that why they don’t work?

43. No matter how early you get up, you can still see the cows in their nighties.

A very funny phrase that gives a new twist to the famous saying: no matter how early you get up, the sun rises earlier.

44. I can’t wait to put on my glasses.

A phrase with a double meaning that can also be a good metaphor for the life we lead.

45. I hate it when the song is wrong when I’m singing.

Who hasn’t ever sung in English without having the slightest notion of this language?

46. I hate being bipolar, it’s so cool.

Being bipolar can give us a perhaps somewhat peculiar way of looking at life.

47. For tired eyes, glasses with armchairs.

If the glasses were like that, we’d certainly have our eyesight a little more rested.

48. How you want to take the bags, and hit you over the head with them.

There are friends of whom, even if we get angry at times, we could not live without them either.

49. To laugh at everything is foolish; to laugh at nothing is foolish.

A very true sentence that speaks very well of people and their possible personalities.

50. The advantages of nudism are obvious.

The practice of nudism can provide us with some positive experiences.

51. If work is health, I want to live sick.

Overwork can be harmful to your health, perhaps being sick will be healthier in the long run. One of those smiling phrases that will delight those who like to sleep in.

52. If they speak ill of you, you’re doing something right.

They have to talk about us for better or worse, because that indicates that we are a relevant person in society.

53. If you can’t convince him, confuse him.

Trying to confuse someone can be a very clever way of making them lose their conviction about something.

54. You’re going to go to the ground from all this growing up.

Sometimes, growing up too fast can take its toll on our lives.

55. I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.

More than one of us can be equally good at that fantastic task we call sleep.

56. Intelligence is chasing me, but I’m faster.

If we move fast enough we can get out of it, no doubt.

57. A clear conscience is a sign of poor memory

We’ve all done things in life that we’re not proud of, and if not, it’s because you don’t remember them.

58. I’m not afraid of death, I just wouldn’t want to be there when it happens. (Woody Allen)

A very ingenious phrase of this monster of cinema that is Woody Allen, his humor is undoubtedly a reference in the genre.

59. Sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

Sometimes with the lack of partners we go from playing a texas holdem to a solitaire.

60. I usually cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

More than one ends up drinking even the wine that was supposed to be for cooking.

61. I don’t believe in a life beyond, but, just in case, I’ve changed my underwear (Woody Allen)

We must be cautious and prepared for everything that one day may bring in our lives.

62. The absolute truth does not exist, and this is absolutely true.

The truth is just our perception of it from our point of view.

63. Since loving one another does not work, why do we not try to love one another? (Mafalda)

We must understand each other in one way or another, in the end it will be beneficial to both.

64. Better late, because in the morning I sleep.

How many of us like to get up at a reasonable hour? At 1:00 in the morning.

65. I can resist everything but temptation (Oscar Wilde)

Temptation can be a very strong force in us and it can be difficult to stop it.

66. It’s better to be quiet and look stupid than to talk and clear up doubts for good. (Groucho Marx)

The great Groucho Marx leaves us this funny quote that also reflects a resounding truth.

67. Age is not important, unless you are a cheese (Luis Buñuel)

There are people who improve over time, as if we were a good wine.

68. There are two words that will open many doors for you: “pull” and “push”.

We should write them down because they can be very useful to us in life, there is no doubt about it.

69. Children, you have endeavoured, and for what? For nothing. The moral is: Do not strive. (Homer J. Simpson)

Who doesn’t know Homer or Homer in Latin America? Their lessons have been with us for decades and still are.

70. I’m so smart that sometimes I don’t understand a single word I’m saying. (Oscar Wilde)

This quote from Oscar Wilde shows us his great sense of humour and how he was able to laugh at himself.

71. Save water. Don’t shower alone.

Showering in pairs is scientifically proven to have many positive aspects in our lives and that of the planet.

72. You’re not Google, but you have everything I’m looking for…

A funny and intelligent phrase that can also serve as a hint to the person we like.

73. There can’t be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. (Henry Kissinger)

Henry Kissinger was a very busy man and also had a great sense of humour which must have helped him in many difficult situations.

74. Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Sex is a very healthy activity both physically and mentally, as long as we take enough precautions.

75. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not sure.

A good sentence that will show others that in addition to being indecisive we also have a great sense of humor.

76. Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it a thousand times. (Mark Twain)

A great phrase with a touch of humour to talk about in the debate on tobacco use when we are in society.

77. I don’t want to work as a bus driver, because I don’t like things that are passing.

A good phrase with a double meaning that undoubtedly gives us a curious view of this type of trade.

78. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy; I asked for a second opinion and he said I was ugly too.

Sometimes it can be more helpful to keep the first opinion.

79. Two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I am not sure of the first. (Albert Einstein)

Great phrase of the genius Albert Einstein who was always loved for his great sense of humor. One of the smiling phrases that he delighted us with in his lectures.

80. Kids are smarter than any of us. You know how I know? I don’t know a single kid with a full-time job. (Bill Hicks)

Sometimes knowing how to laugh at ourselves can show others that we are a very sociable person.