How long have we had the idea that negative emotions are bad? That is, to what extent have we been educated that the “negative” (or what seems negative) has to be avoided, minimized or suppressed?

Surely this education has always had a noble purpose, with the intention of helping or instilling a positive attitude towards life . However, there are a lot of people for whom this idea of “rejection of evil” has proved to be a double-edged sword.

The “negative” emotions

Lately there has been a lot of talk about emotions, and several topics of psychology have been brought up that have long wanted to take the air. Therefore, it does not hurt to clarify concepts. To give a definition, and starting from the Rational Emotive Therapy founded by Professor Albert Ellis, emotions are understood as mental, physiological and behavioural events or occurrences.

In other words, can be understood as concrete physiological activations to which our mind and body put a label . In this way, it is accepted that emotions have a specific function, and the difference between “negative” and “positive” is given by their usefulness, both for the world and for ourselves (let’s not forget the latter).

For example, the sadness , which is generally considered to be negative, becomes especially useful at the moment when it is necessary to vent or discharge emotionally in the face of a conflict that we do not know how to resolve. That is, could be positive.

It would become negative, however, when it was triggered by an irrational idea, stopped serving as a shock, or made it more difficult for us to achieve our goals.

What are dysfunctional emotions called?

If we mark the difference between positive and negative emotions at the point where they cease to be useful, it would be beneficial to know whether those we normally catalogue as negative are really so. Here are some examples:

Concern vs. Anxiety

It is quite different to wish that something does not happen (concern) than to eliminate the possibility of it happening (“this cannot happen and if it does it will be fatal”). It seems only a slight difference, but it becomes huge at the moment when you need to deal with an anxious situation. Bad nerves can turn a mild concern into a world of fear, which on the other hand makes it impossible to cope with anything.

Therefore, the futility of anxiety is obvious, at least internally, which is very different from being active or worried.

Sadness vs. Depression

The line between the two may seem fine, but on a mental level (let’s remember the mental dimension of emotions), the depressive state has a strong component of devaluation, that is, of mistreatment of oneself (“I’m not good for anything, I’m nothing”). Also in the dimension time and intensity are different, although these parameters are much more individual.

To specify that with depressive mood is not referred to in this case as a clinical problem, but as a mood, which turns out to be not only unhelpful, but also quite harmful.

Anger with self vs. guilt

These two emotions are sometimes represented more as an evolution than as different states. That is, one gets angry with oneself, and then begins to feel guilty about what one has become angry about. The self-evaluation is very common here, and as has already been intuited, it is of no use whatsoever.

The guilt is the protagonist of an enormous number of clinical psychological problems. A badly managed feeling of guilt can generate absolutely harmful ways of thinking for the person, unlike anger with oneself, from which learning can emerge.

Anger vs. Wrath

While the former may be a logical and indeed healthy reaction to possible disagreement, it is the passage to anger that makes it negative. This is typically what happens on busy days, or when people get nervous; however, is never helpful in resolving conflict .

In addition, through anger an enormous amount of mental and emotional resources are employed, more than we often have. Anger at a disagreement relaxes emotional and mental tension, while anger produces more of both.

Double negative, please!

It seems that perhaps it is not so necessary to avoid the “bad”. However, the escape from this is logical; after all, neither nor any of the emotions mentioned are pleasant, whether they are functional or not . But, although none of them provides us with a smile or a laugh in itself, on a psychological level there comes a point where the most obvious question arises:

To be happy, or to be mentally healthy, one must always be happy?

The emotion of negative valence (and I mean that which produces a negative mood, regardless of its usefulness), before having this valence, is emotion. We defined this term earlier. We only had to add that emotions are human, that is, the human is designed to create, experience and ultimately live all kinds of emotions , both negative and positive. And it turns out that sometimes, seeking to escape from an unpleasant state of mind, we end up living one that hurts us even more.

In consultation, the question of “why me?” is constantly repeated. The answer lies in the fact that simply negative (but possibly functional) emotions occur. To admit it and reconcile oneself with the fact that one is capable of feeling bad, and may need it, is simply to realize that one is human.