Being a mother means knowing these 25 essential points

Being a mother means knowing these 25 essential points

Mothers are, along with our fathers, the most important figures in our lives . They are the people who gave us life and raised us when we could not even feed ourselves.

Thanks to the mothers we have grown and developed. That’s why this post is dedicated to them.

The mother-child relationship: an unconditional love

It’s just that the task of being a mother can be exhausting . It is a 24-hour job that, especially in the first few years, consumes all the time a mother can have. Mothers spend the first stages of their children’s lives together, and the attachment that is created in the beginning of this relationship lasts forever.

But what is this attachment thing? Well, nothing more than the emotional and affective ties or bonds that are created in interpersonal relationships. And mothers, of course, are the main protagonists of this beautiful relationship.

The attachment theory: What is it?

The theory of attachment is a theory made popular by John Bowlby , because he thought that attachment begins in childhood and continues throughout life, and affirmed that there are systems of control of behaviour that are innate and necessary for the survival and procreation of human beings. Mothers, of course, are the main actors in the development of what is considered to be the healthiest form of attachment: “secure attachment”.

If you have been a mother, you will have noticed that from a very young age children have an innate behaviour that makes them want to explore new things , they are like mini-explorers. However, when they think they are in danger, they quickly run into your arms in search of protection.

Mothers are always there and the little ones know it . Just like you have known it with yours. As you can see, without mothers we would be lost in this world, because it depends on them that we do not develop behaviours that damage our emotional health in the future.

  • To learn more about this theory, we invite you to read our article: “The Theory of Attachment and the Parent-Child Bond”

The importance of maternal function

Already from birth the mother is there, and her son becomes familiar with her voice, with her presence . The mother becomes responsible for the maternal function in the early stages of life, that is, the desire to provide physical and emotional nourishment to the infants. But at an early age the mother’s function not only refers to covering physical needs such as food, but also to providing benign or positive affective stimuli. Studies show that children who are deprived of these affective stimuli often die under the condition called hospitalism.

Positive affective stimuli are those innate stimuli that are born from the desire to love that new creature, for example, the sweet and gentle tone of voice, the smiles, caresses and hugs and the look.

  • You can read more about this in the article: “A mother’s gaze and the maternal function: “I am looked at, therefore I am”

Mothers are for better or worse

Now, the development of a child lasts a lifetime, but until adolescence the maternal figure is of great importance for the descendants. The mother will be in charge of educating a child (along with other educational agents of course), for example, in values. However, she can also be a bad influence on her child if she does not do things right .

Some mothers, voluntarily or involuntarily, engage in a variety of toxic behaviors that can ultimately harm the emotional health of their offspring. Toxic mothers may engage in some harmful behaviors, such as those shown below:

  • They are fixated on gender roles and adopt a submissive attitude towards men
  • They are very conservative
  • Have a controlling personality
  • They don’t trust their children’s attitude
  • Have a passive-aggressive attitude
  • They are indifferent or too permissive
  • They are not very affectionate
  • They are too critical
  • They project their failures in life onto their children
  • Are uncommunicative
  • Do not teach them healthy habits

You can deepen in these negative behaviors of the mothers in our post: “Toxic Mothers: these 12 characteristics make them unbearable”

What Every Mother Should Know

Luckily, the vast majority of mothers feel that unconditional love for their children that I spoke about earlier .

If you are going to be a mother for the first time, you will be interested in knowing the following 25 points, because this is a great experience, but sometimes it can be complicated and exhausting:

  1. You will develop the super-skill or seventh sense of getting up in the middle of the night.
  2. You will become a researcher because you will be interested in knowing everything about your child: what they should eat, what they should do, etc. That’s probably what brought you to this article…
  3. You’ll try to remember what you did when you had time off.
  4. You’ll become a big critic… of yourself.
  5. You’ll worry about what you and your kids are eating.
  6. You will sacrifice yourself for him or her.
  7. You will discover a new form of love: motherly love.
  8. You’ll be at the limit of your emotional capacity.
  9. You’ll learn to appreciate what it’s like to sleep.
  10. And you will learn to sleep in the hours that your child sleeps.
  11. You’ll develop eyes behind your head.
  12. You’ll realize you knew nothing about life.
  13. When your first child is born… you may suffer from post-partum depression.
  14. You will ask your parents (your grandparents) for help.
  15. You’ll think the silence is suspicious.
  16. You’ll learn to cure pupae with kisses.
  17. You’ll become a diaper expert.
  18. You’ll be an expert in the sport of saving your child from falls.
  19. You will realize that every child is a world (only when you have your second child).
  20. You will learn a new language. For example, “aga”, for water.
  21. You’ll know what stress really is.
  22. And, although it will cost you, you will learn to let your father do things his way because you will be less stressed.
  23. You’ll enjoy every moment you can use both hands.
  24. You will get used to living with the things that used to disgust you: spit, vomit, excrement…
  25. You’ll become a child again. For example, when you have to play with your child or watch TV with him or her.

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