The differences between men and women are undeniable: they are obvious and even part of the anatomy itself. The same goes for the ways in which sex is experienced: the forms of stimulation, the place of sex in the mind, the need to masturbate, sexual desires and fantasies…

The libido tends to be experienced differently according to each person’s sex.

Despite this, what is sought is harmony and complicity between the couple when it comes to sexual relations. But what a difficulty in the face of such differences. However, if we stop to know how the sexual response of both men and women changes throughout their respective lives , our expectations will be more realistic at the time of the relationship.

Lifetime sexual response, by sex

Men

17 – 18 years old

At the age of 17 or 18, they reach the peak of their sexuality . Sex invades their thoughts, reaching between 4 and 8 daily orgasms of great intensity. The refractory period exclusive to men (time in which they will not be able to have an orgasm, after having ejaculated previously), is very short, from a few seconds to a minute. From then on, their sexual capacity decreases very slowly.

20 – 30 years

Between the late 20s and early 30s, your sexual thoughts and libido change, but you still respond easily to sexual stimuli. They need fewer orgasms, they masturbate less, the rigidity of their erections starts to decrease and the refractory period gets longer .

40 – 49 years old

From the age of 40 onwards, important changes start to be noticed. Erotic thoughts and fantasies continue to decrease, they need more stimulation to achieve an erection (which will be slower) and the refractory period continues to increase.

50 years and older

At 50 the man’s orgasmic need is much less, with two climaxes a week they have enough, they will be less intense and with a weak ejaculation. During the 60’s insecurity, frustration and anxiety prevail; since it is difficult to accept that their sexual life is changing. However, this can be seen as something positive, thinking that the urge to ejaculate has ended and having more time for imagination and tenderness .

Women

Adolescence

During adolescence they show less interest in sexuality than men . Little by little their sensitivity increases.

35 – 45 years old

Between 35 and 40 years old they reach the peak of their sexuality and the speed and intensity of arousal increases . From the age of 45 onwards, women’s sexual capacity begins to decrease gradually, but more slowly than in the case of men. Another important difference with men is that age does not affect their orgasmic capacity.

From the age of 60

At 60 and after the menopause, there is no reason to decrease sexual desire, although the orgasmic intensity decreases .

After the age of 65, women gradually become less concerned about sex, but continue to use self-satisfaction without having to depend on their partner’s desire and ability.

What can you do to enjoy healthy sexuality throughout your life?

To try to reduce these discrepancies and avoid them affecting the sexual life of the couple, it is advisable to “stay active” . Avoid monotony in the relationship, worries (work, economic, marital) that generate stress, keep fit physically and mentally, eat a healthy diet, avoid alcohol and other types of toxic substances.

That means, without going any further, “living together” at all levels and taking into account the different way in which the couple experiences well-being.

To find out more about how can improve libido , I recommend you read the following post:

“How can we improve our sex drive?”

Bibliographic references:

  • De Béjar, S. (2003). It’s your sex! . Barcelona: Butxaca 62.