You consider yourself the asshole of your class? Today we give you 4 reasons not to worry.

Bullying in class: what to do when others treat you badly

Bullying is a sadly present reality in the educational landscape. Today we will not focus on the reasons in which these abusers appear, but on the reasons for maintaining hope for those who suffer this verbal or physical violence which, to put it in a less dramatic word, can make them feel stupid and become victims of those who in the future will be social misfits.

In crime psychology we study that adolescents who will have problems of social adaptation as adults survive in school and high school due to their lack of resources in social skills with two strategies. They are the following.

What do bullies do to make you feel like an asshole?

1. physically or verbally assaulting other children

Their weaknesses (lack of communication resources, hostile family environment, low self-esteem) cause them to seek superiority through violence. The recipients of these aggressions do not have to follow any pattern other than not being part of their group. This can make you feel like a fool.

2. Meet with individuals with the same deficiencies

Subjects who will have problems adapting as adults because of their weaknesses join together at school and high school and form a hard core . If you are not part of a group they will try to hurt you by making you feel lonely and isolated. That can make you feel like a jerk.

If you are one of those people who suffer from the lack of social skills of violent subjects who attack to defend their insecurity, there are four reasons to keep hope. It’s a hard process, but you can stop suffering that harassment.

Because bullying is a real problem and suffering from it does not make you a fool , it just makes you a person who has to face an unfair, undeserved conflict and can help you to be stronger. Here are four reasons why you should not lose hope.

Being a victim of bullying is not the end: reasons for optimism

Asking for help makes you stronger

One of the skills you learn over the years is how to ask for help. A mature and confident person is not afraid to assume that he or she has a problem and that that problem may be momentarily affecting or overcoming him or her. Don’t be afraid to let your environment down or to worry them. You are not responsible for what is happening and your environment is precisely for cases like these.

The social support network will help you in different directions. First it will make you feel listened to and cared for, so the feeling of loneliness will gradually fade away. They can also give you advice on how to solve the problem or which people to contact.

Yes or yes, he seeks the support of adults, if possible family members. Their experience and resources will help to find solutions to the conflict. If you do not find this support in your family, do not hesitate to look for a person in charge of the center where you study.

Social skills can be developed

In many cases the feeling of weakness in the face of conflict is marked by a lack of social skills. In order to be successful on a social level it is necessary to have those skills that help us manage conflicts or to have social success that makes us avoid those conflicts. The good news is that these skills can be learned . Your own experiences will help you to improve them, but if you want to change and have them well developed, there is even better news.

Not saying what bothers you, that shyness prevents you from expressing yourself freely, the excessive fear of not fitting in with the group, the wit to express yourself with humour… soft skills are learned , among other things, psychologists and coaches help you develop these skills so that you can face your social life with more security.

Valued traits change over time

As we said, all the studies on Crime Psychology and Antisocial Behavior show that children and adolescents with aggressive or overly dominant behavior are the ones who are likely to have problems adapting in the future.

During adolescence, strength, aggressiveness and intolerance may seem to be the most valued traits. But in a few years, in an adult society that rewards the values of sensitivity, intelligence, empathy, ingenuity, originality… Your traits that during adolescence may seem like a weakness will become some of your main assets.

Everything that makes you feel different now will turn out to be in your favour and will be consolidated as a pillar of your social identity. Don’t be afraid to be different . They try to look the same among themselves because they are afraid of being themselves. You are you. And that makes you very lucky.

What today seems irreversible tomorrow will be a memory

When we are in the middle of a conflict or a problem, continued anxiety activates our metabolism and we secrete hormones at a very high rate. Our brain works twice or three times as hard as it should. This feeling of activation causes us to focus on the problems and we believe that our life will always be like that.

Well, when you have your birthday you will realize that throughout our lives we are faced with hundreds of situations that we think are definitive… and then they are not so definitive. When you leave with a partner, you change jobs… we always think that change is final. And then it becomes just another memory. Life is in constant change and dozens of very positive chapters await you. Trust that they will come.