Shyness becomes a problem that affects hundreds of thousands of people, often with negative consequences that go beyond simple discomfort. However, being shy does not mean having a psychological disorder ; rather, it is a personality trait that can present itself in varying degrees of intensity.

Something very different happens with social phobia , which is a disorder and puts the person in serious difficulty when trying to maintain a good quality of life.

In this article we will see what these two psychological phenomena consist of and what is done from psychological therapy to help people who suffer from one of them.

Social phobia and shyness: differences

These two concepts are similar in many ways, but it is worth distinguishing between them.

Shyness, as we have already seen, is a personality trait linked to pessimistic forecasts about how others will see us . The idea of being a person with problems to be accepted or appreciated by others feeds personal insecurities, and that is why those who are shy avoid being the center of attention, and prefer not to expose themselves much to situations in which they can be valued by strangers.

Thus, although there are always exceptions, in general terms shy people tend not to have large groups of good friends, tend to go out less to socialize, and are more individual and introspective in their habits.

Then there’s social phobia, also known as social anxiety disorder. In this case, the anxiety generated by the possibility of experiencing mockery or rejection by others is so intense that the person obsessively avoids this kind of situation, as far as possible. Moreover, when exposed to contexts in which he or she attracts a lot of attention from several people, he or she can hardly hide the anxiety , and his or her priority is to get out of that place (although by doing so he or she is attracting more attention, paradoxically).

In this case we are talking about a psychological disorder of the phobia group, and therefore it can generate symptoms so intense that they are of clinical relevance; that is to say, they are reason enough to seek help from health professionals. The more time passes without having intervened on this tendency to develop moments of high anxiety, the more negative consequences accumulate : resignation to jobs with good conditions, practical impossibility of making friends or finding a partner, etc.

What do you do in therapy to overcome these problems?

Both the problems resulting from social phobia and the very pronounced shyness can be addressed in psychotherapy, even though being someone who is shy is far less serious than having a phobia.

In the case of shyness, as it is more of a personality trait, the therapy will not make it disappear, but it does help it to express itself in much more adaptive ways , and even to not be noticed at key moments, such as performances in front of an audience.
On the other hand, in the case of social phobia, the discomfort produced by the fact of being exposed to strangers rarely disappears completely, but it can become so debilitating that it does not limit well-being or impede normal life.

How do you get this? There are different ways to promote therapeutic change, and the overall objective of psychologists’ intervention points to the need to promote other ways of interpreting reality and different ways of interacting with others. In this way, we intervene in both physical actions and mental processes , both in cognitive and emotional processes.

Some of the techniques used in therapy to help these people are the following, although they are always adapted to each patient’s particular case:

⦁ Live exposure to social situations
⦁ Systematic desensitization
⦁ Psychoeducation, to get rid of unnecessary worries
⦁ Cognitive restructuring to challenge limiting beliefs
⦁ Exercises to improve expressive skills
⦁ Exercises to improve non-verbal communication
⦁ Creation of socialization guidelines to be done between sessions
⦁ I work in collaboration with relatives (if necessary and possible)

Conclusion

Psychology professionals specialized in psychotherapy use resources such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, emotional release techniques and other scientifically created means to facilitate the patient’s transition to this new way of relating to other people .

However, it is necessary that those who go to therapy become committed to this process of change for the better, since psychologists do not impose anything or transform individuals if they do not do their part.

Bibliographic references:

  • Beesdo, K.; Bittner, A.; Pine, D. S.; Stein, M. B.; Höfler, M.; Lieb, R.; Wittchen, H. U. (2007). Incidence of Social Anxiety Disorder and the Consistent Risk for Secondary Depression in the First Three Decades of Life. Archives of General Psychiatry. 64 (8): pp. 903 – 912.
  • Crozier, W.R. (2001). Understanding Shyness: psychological perspectives. Basingstoke: Palgrave.
  • Stein, M.D.; Murray B.; Gorman, M.D.; Jack M. (2001). Unmasking social anxiety disorder. Journal of Psychiatry & Neuroscience. 3. 26(3): 185 – 189.
  • Xu, Y.; Schneier, F.; Heimberg, R. G.; Princisvalle, K.; Liebowitz, M. R.; Wang, S.; Blanco, C. (2012). “Gender differences in social anxiety disorder: Results from the national epidemiological sample on alcohol and related conditions”. Journal of Anxiety Disorders. 26 (1): pp. 12 – 19.