There are certain people who, because they are not used to it, have the problem of wanting everything : the possible and the impossible, what depends on oneself and what does not, and what only comes through effort and what comes through luck.

Many of them also realize that they have a problem, but they do not know how to break the mental habit that leads them to be capricious people and that at the moment of truth brings them more frustrations than moments of well-being.

We must bear in mind that in order to change our way of being it is necessary to modify both the way we think and the physical habits of the day to day, that is to say, that simply reading or talking does not achieve much. However, it is possible to start from a series of theoretical and practical guidelines. Next we will focus on just that: how to stop being someone capricious .

Guidelines to Stop Being Whimsical

Below you can read the key points to work on in the day to day to manage life expectations more effectively and to abandon the ideas and habits that lead to a capricious mentality.

1. Establishes priorities

It is very important to be clear about what is most important in our lives. To do this, there is nothing like writing down on a sheet of paper what you think is really important and then classifying these elements into 4 categories of importance in a hierarchical order. The first 3 categories can only contain 3 elements.

2. Work the Emotional Intelligence

In order to live in a more harmonious way according to what we consider important, it is very good to strengthen our Emotional Intelligence, which is that which is dedicated to analyzing, recognizing and regulating emotions and feelings .

This is very useful, for example, to know how to interpret in a proper way what the nature of the frustration is, and to know to what extent it is well founded n valid reasons to get sad, angry, stressed, etc.

3. Setting ambitious targets

Often, the tendency to a capricious mentality is born from a lack of goals, from getting used to receiving small rewards without doing anything. That is why the feeling of reward that is born after making a hard effort in a medium or long term project is very positive for giving up this kind of pseudo-rewards .

For example, if we propose to write a short novel and we finish it, that sensation of well-being will be associated with something deserved , which we have done ourselves, and with that precedent the habit of depending on the whims that are satisfied “from outside” is reduced, since the sensation that it generates is less intense. In addition, the level of self-esteem and self-confidence will have increased, making it easier for the excuses for not making an effort on one’s own to disappear.

4. Leaning on the team

Going from having subjects to colleagues in a team is an excellent motivation to stop thinking like an emperor . In this sense, the closeness of other people who also pursue their goals and invest efforts in them is very motivating and leads us to make the same effort as them (or more).

In short, just as in sports the members of a team encourage each other to keep on working hard, something very similar happens in practically every area of the ida: the community leads us to work harder, as we have someone to reflect our own efforts in comparing ourselves.

5. Learning to recognize cravings

Knowing when our capricious inner self begins to claim the reins of our body is very positive in preventing this from happening. For example, just after you have asked someone for something, you stop for a moment and think whether it would not be more appropriate to get what you are asking for by your own means, or whether it is a realistic request. To do this, it is good to use a reminder, such as a string tied around the wrist for the first few days.

Little by little, that moment of “stopping to think” can be shifted towards anticipation, so that it occurs between the moment when the craving appears and the moment when you ask for something out loud, but not afterwards. The idea is to add difficulties little by little, without considering very sudden changes.

6. Keeping busy

Filling your free time with goals, whether long or short term, helps you break the habit of receiving and accepting favors, if only because there is no time for it. It is best to set goals that only one can reach, so as not to be tempted to ask others to do the hardest part of the task.

For example, exercise to get fit, learn a new language, learn by reading more, etc. The idea is to promote one’s own personal development through different strategies.