Many people feel that a lack of patience is one of the problems that most beset them both at work and in their personal relationships. Many of the goals we aspire to require us to wait, regardless of whether the efforts we have invested in it have consisted of regulating our emotions (positive or negative) or in striving to produce something.
Having patience does not only imply being easier to deal with by other people; moreover, allows us to be more capable of embarking on large projects whose fruit can greatly improve our quality of life.
Therefore, taking into account that this psychological characteristic can be understood as a skill that helps us to prosper, it is interesting to know several keys about how to have more patience , either with others or in relation to goals whose fruits are made to wait. That’s what we’ll talk about in this article.
How to have more patience through simple habits
Any psychological change, in most cases, takes time. This is especially true when it comes to honing skills to better adapt to our environment, since wanting to change is not enough to make this evolution happen for the better. However, we can introduce small changes in our daily lives in order to train the mental processes most linked to the capacity we are interested in enhancing .
In the case that we want to start having more patience, to the time needed to change we must add the effort related to gradually detach from impulsiveness. Let’s see how to do it by optimizing the use of our energy and not letting this mission come to fruition. In this case, the recommendations are different depending on whether we want to be more patient in relation to the long-term objectives we set ourselves, or with others, in the case that someone is irritating to us .
Have more patience with others: family, friends…
When it comes to not giving in so much to impulsiveness in our personal relationships, it is advisable to follow the advice you will find in this section.
1. Stop judging
Putting labels on is a way of becoming more likely to negatively value certain people for almost anything they do. When we don’t perceive others by what they do but by what we think they are , our prejudices may cause us to adopt hostile and irrational attitudes towards some. Therefore, in order to have more patience, one of the first steps is to differentiate between annoyances with an objective and reasonable basis, on the one hand, and those that are totally subjective and invented by oneself, on the other.
2. Adopting a Distant Perspective
Many times, our ability to be more patient with others is much greater if we adopt a more neutral and detached mindset, as if we were an outside observer of the conversation or interaction taking place. In this way, it is easier not to give in to impulsivity .
3. Learning to accept the defects of others
In practically no area of our lives is it necessary for us to like each and every person we come into contact with. Friendly or affective bonds are an exceptionality , not something that has to define what unites us with the rest of the individuals in the society in which we live.
So, learning to accept the fact that we will not always feel special sympathy for everyone and that in our eyes there will always be people with defects is a way of not becoming obsessed with the latter and, consequently, having more patience in dealing with people in general.
4. Look at what they do for you
On many occasions, even if we do not notice it, those who get on our nerves or frustrate us by their way of behaving also make small sacrifices for us. Keeping them in mind is good for not having an extremely biased view of their way of being. The result of this is that we will not pay so much attention to the small details that in other contexts exasperate us .
Have more patience for the goals we set
The ability to have a lot of patience is also very beneficial for the success of our projects. The message of the fable of the gigara and the ant is very important, because not everyone is able to continue to persist when all the efforts that will give us a good long term compensation seem to be useless during the first weeks or months.
So, to know how to have more patience in the projects that we propose, follow these guidelines.
1. Divide your goals into different sub-objectives
It’s a way of making the progress we make more visible at the cost of investing time and effort in something. By becoming more aware of our progress , it costs less to be patient. For example, if you’re following a training plan or going to the gym, it’s good to focus on achieving concrete changes in a sequential way, and not just on “getting in shape”.
2. Strengthen your self-esteem
The fruits of tasks and projects that require patience not only bring the objective reward itself of money, the product created or fame, but also strengthen our self-esteem. Taking into account these advances when evaluating ourselves is a way to make it easier for us to continue to persist.
3. Don’t Make Hot Decisions
This advice is key, because when a very intense emotion invades us, it is very easy to lose control, throw in the towel and fall into impulsiveness. So when you feel that you have become too emotionally involved in something in a circumstantial way, it is better to walk away, take some time to calm down, and return to the place where we are needed with a clear mind and relaxed muscles. For the latter, you can resort to relaxation techniques.