How to be more tolerant: 5 practical tips
The ability to be tolerant is a fundamental psychological characteristic in many ways. It enhances our propensity to live together in culturally rich societies, and also provides a gateway to new knowledge.
In this article we’ll see a series of tips on how to be more tolerant , given that tolerance is a behavioural dynamic that can be learned.
Why is it good to be tolerant?
Getting used to being more tolerant brings two types of benefits.
On the one hand, assuming that the human being is a social animal, it helps us to have more contacts with people of many kinds, which implies having a human capital of individuals with whom we can carry out actions in mutual benefit .
It is not in vain that loneliness is linked to a greater propensity to have a poor quality of life, and instead having contact with very varied people is very useful in many ways.
On the other hand, being tolerant of others as well exposes us to more and more intellectual stimuli . Being in contact with points of view different from our own makes it more difficult to be manipulated from stereotypes and prejudices, and also makes us wiser.
We may disagree with a number of ideas and values that others include in their lives, but knowing them first-hand and not just by hearsay makes our notions about those different perspectives more nuanced and honest.
How to be more tolerant of others: 6 tips
In light of the above, let us now learn several habits and strategies that help us become more tolerant.
1. Be aware of your own biases
First of all, it is very important to be aware that when we come across ideas that contradict each other, we tend to use many intellectual traps to assume from the outset that they are only wrong beliefs and irrational ones.
Of course, sometimes we will get it right and others’ ideas will be full of logical contradictions and explanatory gaps, but even if they are very valid and even better than ours, the fact that they are seen as incompatible with our beliefs will favour their rejection.
Fortunately, the simple fact of being aware of this semi-conscious predisposition opens the door for us to stop and consider whether these ideas are really legitimate or not . However, this is only a first step, and in itself does not make us more tolerant, although it is necessary to undertake the strategies that we will see below.
2. Playing the devil’s advocate
This is one of the most useful pieces of advice on how to be more tolerant, as it consists of making a conscious effort to defend the ideas we disagree with and attack our own. It is a kind of mental simulation to see how the other’s beliefs fit into reality or what is right, compared to our own.
Doing this requires a certain amount of time and effort; it is not enough to devote a few seconds to this task. Other people’s points of view are often more complex than we can imagine in a matter of fractions of a minute , so we must create a mental representation faithful to what those who don’t think like us are really thinking.
3. Searching for valid representatives of a collective
When we try to be more tolerant, we usually do so by focusing on our attitudes towards groups. For example, we want to be more tolerant of certain individuals as representatives of a religion or way of thinking shared by many people.
Therefore, it is important to ensure that in forming a rich and nuanced opinion about these groups, we make sure that we look at people who actually represent them.
Although each individual is unique, there are people who are more representative of one group than others ; for example, someone who has been in prison for participating in terrorist activities linked to ultraconservative nationalism will probably not be a good representative of all the inhabitants of his or her country.
4. Dialogue and focus on the arguments
Dialogue and the use of arguments and ways of thinking based on rationality is a way of connecting with others on the basis of common ideas. Therefore, it is important that dialogue, which is necessary to be more tolerant, emphasizes not mainly feelings, but the reasoning behind the different ways of feeling and behaving of each other.
In this way, by explaining in the most rational way possible why one thinks what one thinks and does what one does, we will move further away from intolerance and be more likely to understand those who do not think as we do.
5. Be willing to change your mind
Becoming more tolerant requires certain sacrifices, and this is the main one. Not only must we want to interiorize and accept the ways of living and reasoning of others; we must also be willing to let others show us that they are right and we are wrong . Assuming this is an exercise in humility that some people find difficult to do, but it is essential in order to open up to others and not fall into fanaticism.
Bibliographic references:
- Festinger, L. (1962). Cognitive dissonance. Scientific American. 207 (4): 93-107.
- Valls, R. (1994): On fundamentalisms. Keys to practical reason. 42, pp 40-48.