If you think that guilt or worry has some positive contribution in your life, it means that you have a distorted perception of reality.

Emotions such as guilt and worry are becoming more frequent in today’s society. It is increasingly common to observe stressed people “sinking into a glass of water” , due to situations that perhaps, in the eyes of others, are not so serious.

What are negative emotions?

The destructive power of negative emotions is mainly due to the influence they had on our childhood. We learned from an early age, during the development of our first and second childhood, that if we did not feel bad about a mistake we made or did not care enough about the future, we would not be able to correct an attitude or solve a problem.

From childhood we were taught this type of negative emotions in order to instruct our behavior and correct certain types of behavior . This problem is mainly expressed in our stage of maturity, since both guilt and worry can be really harmful emotions for our emotional well-being, by exposing us to manipulations and falling into self-punishing behaviours.

Why guilt and worry are negative emotions

The problem of guilt and worry lies mainly in the fact that we waste all our present moments punishing ourselves for things that have already happened or that we want to happen in the future. Because of this kind of negative thinking, our capacity for enjoyment and connection to life is severely diminished.

Although both emotions are theoretically intended to help us correct behaviors or seek possible solutions to problems, both also serve a useless purpose in our lives, since they only manage to keep us immobilized in the face of adversity. This type of “immobilization” can be observed both in guilt-ridden behaviors and in feelings of anxiety or fear before a possible event.

Guilt can serve as a reward in itself and as a permission to repeat the same behavior -Osho

A society that leads us to constant concern

Today’s society is full of people who feel bad about something they shouldn’t have, or are stressed out about things that might happen.

With the guilt hanging over them, they feel overwhelmed by some attitude from the past. While with the worry, they feel anxious about things that have not yet happened and that, to make matters worse, may never happen.

Most probably you, dear reader, will find yourself in this same situation on some occasions . If you frequently feel trapped by any of these emotions, it is necessary to work with them in order to start building the future by leaving these negative and paralyzing emotions aside.

Eliminating Guilt

Beginning to see the past as something that cannot be changed, no matter how you feel about it, is fundamental to eliminating these kinds of negative emotions. You can use phrases such as: “My feeling of guilt is not going to change or improve anything that happened” since no feeling that involves punishing you will be able to achieve any positive change in your attitude or in your current life.

If you want a significant change in the way you respond to the guilt-tripping of your thinking, start by incorporating the following guilt-releasing strategies into your life .

Accept your behavior without punishment

Live the present moment fully and then look for some constructive solution. Choosing to feel guilty and punish yourself for what happened will not solve anything and will not ensure that your behavior will change. At best, you’ll get a “patch” solution that will soon wear off.

2. Set up appropriate times to take care of your business and obligations

Ask yourself what it is that you have been avoiding , reflect on whether your guilt is caused by avoiding a situation or a responsibility, and take care of it!

3. Assert your position of not self-punishing

If someone has a position contrary to yours and tries to manipulate you through guilt, start by respecting your position of not opting for useless feelings that involve self-punishment and reflect constructively on whether your attitude has a purpose or is only harming you.

4. Start by accepting things in yourself that others may not like

Remember that it is impossible to satisfy everyone , your behavior does not have to be catalogued as bad or good according to the opinion of others. Set your happiness and harmony as a priority over external acceptance.

5. Make a note of all the situations that make you feel guilty

You can write down the why, when and who of the situation , and then analyse and determine whether you should indeed make any changes in your attitude.

Eliminating Concern

To eliminate worry, start by changing your perception about the future . Stop perceiving it as something you have to be aware of all the time, so that you move away from obsessive thoughts that only bring you anxiety and fear.

You can use phrases like: “Only what I do in the present can determine my future. If you apply this maxim, you will see that it is absurd to worry about things that have not yet happened, especially if they deprive us of living in the present moment.

Allow yourself to employ the following strategies to release your feelings of worry and begin to take charge of your life.

  • Start by taking care of the problem when you feel the need to worry about a situation: the best antidote to worrying is action.
  • Recognize how incoherent it is to worry about things that haven’t happened yet , ask yourself frequently the question: Will the fact that I am worried change anything? In spite of what might happen, will I still be able to do valuable things for myself and others?
  • Allow yourself shorter and shorter periods to feel concerned : we can start with three 10-minute sessions a day to feel concerned. It is important to remember that we should do our best to feel concerned only at the established times.
  • Make a list of all your worries from yesterday, last week or the year before r : you can check this list to convince yourself that your worries were often not that serious, because you are still alive today. Notice how in each situation it was the occupation that managed to build a solution, while the concern had no positive effect.

Why were we taught these negative emotions?

The main reason why we were taught negative emotions such as guilt or worry is largely due to our cultural values, since it is considered “inappropriate” not to feel bad and not to punish ourselves for our problems .

All this cultural legacy is related to the importance we give to our problems, since our culture teaches us that, if we really care about a person or a particular issue, we must show our interest by feeling guilty for a “bad” attitude we have had, or by exposing our concern to show our affection.

It is as if we are taught that exposing our emotional pain and discomfort is a fundamental requirement for showing affection and importance to others.