Bullying, also known as bullying , is an all too common circumstance within primary or secondary education centres. In general, it tends to be more prevalent in the secondary stage, when young people are in their teens.

In this article we will see how to help a child victim of bullying , we will learn how to identify when a young person may be suffering from bullying, and we will know the best ways to deal with this situation by assisting him/her.

How to identify bullying?

To know how to help a child who is a victim of bullying, the first step is to identify the bullying. In general young people often reserve the situation for themselves and do not tell adults about it .

This refusal to talk about it is a response to the inappropriate feelings that the child experiences when he or she is a victim of bullying; usually he or she feels emotionally and psychologically minimized, which leads him or her to think that adults will perceive him or her in the same way.

They are afraid to talk about it because they don’t want their caregivers to feel disappointed in them , because they consider that they are having a “weak” attitude towards the situation of being victims of bullying. As caregivers of a child or adolescent, we must be attentive to their behaviour.

There are several indicators that can serve as warning signs of the possibility that the young person may be being abused at school. The flattened emotional tone is a constant; but in addition to this there are some specific signs that can help us recognize cases of bullying. Without the following.

  • Children evasive to eye contact.
  • With difficulty sleeping at night.
  • They’re reluctant to go to school.
  • They’re socially isolated.
  • They come back from school with bruises or bumps.
  • They come back from school hungry despite carrying food.
  • They’re constantly asking for more money.

These indicators should be based on facts that arise with a certain regularity , in addition to being accompanied by a decrease in the affectivity of the young person. If this is not the case, it could be due to some specific situation unrelated to school bullying.

How to help child victims of bullying?

In the next few lines we will look at a series of practical tips to help children and adolescents deal with bullying.

Let the young person know that he or she should not be ashamed

The first thing we must do is give him the confidence to express his real situation without any fear , make him see that he is not the only person to whom this situation has happened and that he should not feel bad about it. It should be emphasized that it is the abuser who is making the mistake, not him.

2. Fighting guilt

Those young victims of abuse at school develop an intense sense of irrational guilt, based on the idea that they are to blame for suffering the abuse because they are not able to defend themselves . As caregivers we need to talk to them and help them change this inappropriate thinking.

We must make them understand that it is not their fault that other people have wrong attitudes, and that the solution is not to resort to violence, but to talk to the authorities of the institution about what is happening . The best thing is to go to the school in the company of the young person and make the complaint.

3. Congratulate the young person for expressing himself

Considering how difficult it can be for a young person to express his or her negative experience, it is a good idea to congratulate them for having done so. It is important to reaffirm his self-esteem , letting him know how brave he has been to dare to tell what is happening.

4. Avoiding downplaying

In some cases the parents or carers do not give the real importance to the issue and take this situation as something natural in the lives of young people , when the truth is that if the measures are not taken in time the results could be very harmful to the child. Many young people, because they feel misunderstood, have gone so far as to attack their own physical integrity.

Ideally, we should act as soon as we suspect that something bad may be happening at school.

5. Maintain frequent communication with teachers

One way of preventing and dealing with bullying when it is already happening is to maintain good communication relationships with the young people’s teachers , so that they tell us if they see unusual behaviour in the young person, and if it is bullying, to act together to stop it.

6. Educating in emotional intelligence

Instilling the child with the ability to recognize his own emotions is indispensable so that in a stressful situation he does not allow anger or frustration to make him do things that are counterproductive to his situation.

What we seek with this is that the young person is able to master his emotions and not act on the first impulse. To achieve this we must talk to him about the advantages of solving difficulties through regular channels and not resorting to violent actions .

7. Teach him to put the quality of relationships first

It is useful to show the child that sometimes it is beneficial to get away from certain people who do not bring anything positive, even though they may seem popular or charismatic in the eyes of others, and to teach him or her that one should take into consideration how one feels when one is with someone in particular in order to assess whether that relationship is worthwhile. This will encourage him/her not to change his/her interests or way of being because he/she is part of a group in which he/she is a victim of bullying.

Bibliographic references:

  • De Acevedo, A. (2010). Someone is bothering me: bullying. Ediciones B.
  • Barri, F. (2006). S.O.S. Bullying: Preventing bullying and improving coexistence. Praxis, S.A.