How to help a person with low self-esteem: 6 tips
Many of the psychological problems that people experience have to do with having low self-esteem. When this happens, the expectations that one has about what one can do and what one cannot do become so pessimistic that there is a stagnation and, in turn, a feeling of insecurity and sadness because of comparisons with others.
The sum of these psychological phenomena give rise to consequences such as difficulties in relating, the adoption of a style of attribution that places the blame for all the bad things that happen on oneself, and many other undesirable effects.
In this article we will see how to help a person with low self-esteem , always keeping in mind that it is she who must drive that change for the better that she wants to see in her life, and that we will only make it easier for her to succeed in it.
How to help a person with low self-esteem
The guidelines you will see below are basic principles of action when it comes to helping someone else build a higher self-esteem , assuming that you can deal with that person on a regular basis. The latter is important, since eliminating old beliefs (in this case, related to oneself) and modifying thinking habits is something that costs a lot, and is not achieved overnight.
Ask her to say good things and bad things about her
This may involve both physical or mental abilities and capabilities as well as aspects of the personality. Highlighting three or four elements is enough, since the important thing is not so much to take into account the good in oneself, but to learn that what before seemed empty of desirable virtues and properties, actually has them. In this sense, once you have named those failures and strengths, it is good that you also talk about the positive aspects of that person you are trying to help, to see how they combine with the ones you have named.
2. Reflect together on their “weaknesses”
This step builds on the previous advice, and has to do with changing the way one thinks about those self-perceived weaknesses. This is important, because people with low self-esteem have a rather simplistic view of themselves (seeing everything in such a pessimistic way, their self-concept does not have too many nuances), and thinking about those aspects of oneself and seeing how they fit with reality, reasoning in a critical way, breaks with that idea that there is no improvement possible .
So the idea is not to pretend that these personal failures do not exist, but to begin to see that their importance is relative, on the one hand, and that there is room for improvement in these areas.
3. Review the attribution style
Ask him to recall the last negative or harmful life experiences that he thinks have been your fault. By asking her questions about these events, you can get her to start seeing these experiences in a different way, as something that has various causes, many of which have nothing to do with yourself. In this way, whenever you are tempted to assume that something bad about what has happened is your fault, you will be more likely to stop and look in detail at what is really going on.
4. Encourage him to develop compassion for himself
The simple fact of taking into account that you are coming out of a bad period (marked by low self-esteem) makes possible future mistakes to be seen in a different way. If one does not start off on the same footing as the rest, it is unfair to compare oneself: others do not have to deal with the insecurities and self-esteem problem that one is trying to get rid of. It is rather a personal struggle, in which comparisons are out of place .
5. Go with that person to exercise
This is one of the most useful pieces of advice, since doing sport regularly allows you to fight self-esteem problems in different ways.
On the one hand, an objective is created whose achievement is not based on complicated or confusing plans, but rather on constant effort and not giving up . This motivates and provides a component of purpose that is lacking in the lives of many people with self-esteem problems.
Secondly, their results are aesthetically noticeable and can be passively tested by others, which lowers expectations of making a bad impression.
Finally, being healthier makes you feel better in general, so you tend to evoke more positive memories, and this has an impact on self-esteem.
6. If necessary, encourage him to go to the psychologist
In some extreme cases it is necessary to go to a psychology professional to intervene through his therapy services . Help that person to decide to go to the psychologist, and if necessary help him/her to choose a centre to go to.