Adolescence is a stage of life marked by rebellion, or at least by the obvious estrangement between young people who go through it on the one hand and the adults who care for or supervise them on the other. This makes the emergence of conflicts, frictions between two very different value systems, priorities that have nothing to do with each other and, in general, complicated habits of making them fit together, very frequent.

In this article we will see how to manage behaviour problems in adolescents based on simple psychological principles also used in therapy and behaviour modification programmes in general.

Tips for Managing Behavior Problems in Adolescents

Apply these educational and parenting guidelines to manage a teenager’s bad behavior, keeping in mind that you must adapt these tips to your family’s particular case and the young person’s way of being.

1. Define the problem

The first step consists of putting into words the problem to be addressed . Does he spend too much time playing video games? Does he not do his homework? Does he respond badly when you ask him for things? Leaving open the question of what’s wrong usually gives way to a lot of mistakes, so it’s important to go through this stage of analyzing the situation which, on the other hand, doesn’t usually take too long.

2. Detect aspects of her life where she needs you

Observe carefully what the adolescent’s priorities are . Do not take anything for granted when considering what their tastes and interests are (something very common in parents who have poor communication with their children is to assume that the children are interested in what most young people of that age are interested in).

Once you’ve done that, stop and think about what aspects of your life need you most. That way, you’ll know where to start when it comes to negotiating compliance with future rules of behavior.

3. Apply the rules of behavior

It is important that the adolescent feels that there is a before and an after in the application of this set of rules, since those that existed before have not been fulfilled. This gives legitimacy to the new system of rules of behaviour.

Furthermore, we must explain the implications of complying and not complying , and take advantage of the elements we have learned in the previous point: what can we offer you in greater quantity if you do it well? And what will we start to offer you less if you break the rules?

4. Do not threaten with punishment

In general, it is inadvisable to bet on the path of punishment; adolescents see in this a confirmation that they should not strive to satisfy their parents, who are usually seen as people too different from them to aspire to meet their expectations.

A punishment often alienates the youngster who suffers it, by increasing his hostility towards the person who has imposed that punitive measure . When they are used, it should only be for very harmful behaviour, and always with an explanation that clearly shows the reason for the situation.

5. Show your satisfaction with their progress

Congratulate him when he makes progress, he should notice that what he does has an immediate impact on your attitude towards him or her and also increases his or her self-esteem. It’s no use hiding the fact that we’re happy with what he’s achieving, in any case we’re taking away his incentive to continue.

6. Apply all of the above consistently

Avoid contradicting yourself as much as possible, making rules of behaviour vary radically, and in general showing arbitrariness in your way of establishing rules to follow. If you do so, you will be showing that none of these measures are effective enough or make sense, and that therefore no one should take them seriously.

Are you looking for professional help for your teenager?

If you live in the north of Madrid and you are the parent of a teenager who has adopted problematic behaviour patterns, we invite you to contact our team of psychotherapy professionals at the centre Psicólogos Majadahonda, which has offices in Majadahonda and in Villanueva de la Cañada .

Going through a process of psychotherapy helps young people to better manage their problems, and the advice from our team of psychologists allows families to adapt well to new parenting strategies to facilitate that change in behavior.

If you are interested in knowing more about what we offer, you can find more information about Psychologist-Majadahonda by clicking here.

Bibliographic references:

  • Danzer, G. (2014). Multidimensional Family Therapy in Theory and Practice. Child and Youth Services 35(1), pp. 16 – 34.
  • Dorn L.D.; Biro F. M. (2011). Puberty and Its Measurement: A Decade in Review. Journal of Research on Adolescence. 21(1): pp. 180-195.
  • Larson, R., & Wilson, S. (2004). Adolescence across place and time: Globalization and the changing pathways to adulthood. In R. Lerner and L. Steinberg Handbook of adolescent psychology. New York: Wiley.
  • Ramirez, B.A. (2005). Parents and child development: parenting practices. Valdivia: Pedagogical studies.