Sometimes I am asked what is the key to longevity . Can we do something to live longer? Various studies, such as this one published in The Atlantic, have suggested that one of the main factors predicting longevity is the absence of worry, stress and emotional tension.

How can we manage to relax?

Yes, you can learn to relax, and it’s not difficult. The ability to eliminate worries from our mind can be learned .

Keeping a cool head and being calm in especially stressful situations can help us a lot in our daily lives. People who are not able to calm down in these circumstances often react in an instinctive and unreasonable way, and even have serious problems. When we are in a nervous state, we are not able to assess the consequences of our actions, so it is of vital importance that we learn to manage our emotions and relax .

This will also help us to weigh up the situation at hand, to get a clearer idea of how we should act, and of course not to swell up in our heads the magnitude of the problem. In the event of a verbal discussion, we will also be able to manage our involvement in it better.

Advantages of knowing how to manage nerves

If we are able to relax in especially hard and stressful situations , we will succeed:

  • Maintain a better state of mind , get away from psychological stress and avoid conflicts with other people.
  • Save time, effort and thoughts on things that do not bring us anything positive.
  • Be in accordance with our principles , and attract to us people who are also relaxed. People who live life in a calm and optimistic way, and who run away from conflicts.
  • Be more attractive. Individuals who are able to remain unmoved by adversity are much more attractive to others because they demonstrate self-confidence and a good dose of self-control.

Habits to know how to calm down even in the worst situations

So, how do we manage to keep the nervousness and stress away?

There are different emotional control techniques that can help us manage the psychophysiological effects of stress and anxiety. But there is more: we can also implement certain positive habits that can help us calm down and avoid being prisoners of nerves, anger or any other reaction that does not lead to anything good.

By applying them correctly, we will avoid frustrations, fears, worries and anger that can degenerate into problems that are difficult to solve.

1. Ask yourself: is it really worth it?

Our thoughts can help us improve the situation. But beware, because they can also make it worse. The key here is to ask the right questions, so that we can get a good perspective on the conflict .

  • Is it really important? Very simple. By asking ourselves this question we can put into context the situation we are experiencing. Maybe it’s not worth getting nervous about a silly thing.
  • Will I care about this in 2 years? Or even in a couple of weeks? This question can help us to put the problem we are facing into perspective. It is very useful when assessing whether it really makes sense to lose your temper or to worry too much about something. It is likely that by asking ourselves this question we will take a much more rational perspective on the matter. In two weeks’ time, will this concern have any influence on your life? Probably not.

2. Assume that life does not have to be a martyr

If you notice that you are immersed day after day in obsessive thoughts about your problems, you may be entering a spiral of negativity and thoughts that plunge you into a state of constant nervousness .

Have you tried distracting yourself? Surely, if you put a little fun into your life, your mind will thank you. Doing activities you like, spending time with your friends and laughing about life is one of the best remedies for nervousness and worry.

When a person has an exciting, fun, and passionate life, they don’t stop to think about the possible concerns around them. We all, absolutely all of us live in a society where things we don’t like abound, even things that hurt us. We have to face up to injustice, but it is very good for our psychological health that we learn to clear our minds , taking away a little bit of the tendency to dramatize life.

So can help you stop overanalyzing these tricky issues and spend more time exploring the good things in life . Getting out of the negative routine and focusing all your attention on your concerns can be difficult, because it is a comfort zone. But if you are able to impose positive dynamics and healthy habits on yourself, your self-confidence will increase and you will be able to deal with any problem in a much healthier way.

3. Put the mood up in complicated situations

What else can we do to try to relax in complex situations?

A good trick is to think differently than we normally do. Adding a bit of humour to stressful situations can be very helpful in relativising the importance of problems.

For example, ask yourself:

  • What would Doraemon do in my place?
  • What would my grandmother say if she could see me in this stressful situation?
  • How would [your most calm and confident friend] act in this circumstance?

This key to easy relaxation allows you to shift your focus to a fun and lighthearted perspective. When we are in a negative state of mind (stressed out, exhausted, overwhelmed by the situation, grumpy…) it doesn’t hurt to demystify the bad moment with humor and good vibes.

All these tips are useful when it comes to keeping calm in difficult times . Apply them to your life and everything will probably get better. Good luck!