Charisma is one of the most valuable elements of all those related to personality and social relations. However, it is not easy to reach a point where one totally masters what can make us charismatic. In the end, talking with others, expressing oneself to connect with someone, is complex.
In this article we will review several ways of strengthening the charism from the foundations of meaningful social relationships.
To strengthen the charism through habits
Follow these steps to start training your charisma on a daily basis.
1. Sleep well and eat well
It seems like a minor detail, but this step is basic. Unless you are a person with a very high energy level, you will not be able to give your best in social relationships if you always suffer the effects of fatigue and sleep.
If fatigue dominates you, you will naturally and spontaneously tend to adopt a passive attitude , both physically and psychologically. Your non-verbal language will express much less, and your way of managing conversations will be much more conservative than usual: you will keep a low and discreet profile so that the other person takes the initiative, just because of something that happens to you and even though the interlocutor does not even pretend to be the dominant part of this relationship.
So, maintaining fundamentally healthy standards of living is something that will allow us to be 100% in this kind of social interaction. It seems not, but although technically speaking and relating to others is not a sport, it is something that requires a lot of energy if done well . In the end, the brain is a set of organs that consume a large part of the nutrients available in our body, and communicating and adapting in real time to what the other is doing is a task that requires constant attention.
2. Free your hands
One of the biggest mistakes that many people make in their relationships is to think that talking is simply about using your voice and moving your head. Putting your hands in your pockets or crossing your arms are the clearest signs that you have fallen into this trap.
Something as simple as forcing oneself to always have one’s hands free will make us gain fluency in mastering this very basic aspect of non-verbal communication . Once this is done, it is easier for the other non-verbal components of expression to be released.
3. The importance of eye contact
When talking, it’s very important to look into the eyes. This is “the backbone” of the non-verbal part of conversations, the foundation from which everything is built. However, don’t be obsessed with looking right into the eyes, as this will only make you nervous. It is better to just try not to look at the floor, the person’s chest, or the sides. In this way, the two looks will naturally meet unconsciously, without us noticing.
4. Cultivate your inner world
If we had to reduce to a minimum the meaning of the concept of charism, that definition would be something like: the fact of having personality and knowing how to express it in a clear and distinctive way. Deep down, each person with a charism is one in his own way, since there are practically infinite ways of being one. There is a common element to all of them, but there is also something unique.
In order to improve the charism, then, it is essential to develop a philosophy of life of one’s own and, in general, a cultural background that makes it easier to connect with many types of people . Knowing about music allows one to relate better with some, knowing about psychology helps one to converse with others… That is why books and in general all cultural products become, in this way, means through which to reach more people, and in a deeper way.
5. Be interested in what excites the other
This is something as important as it is simple. To strengthen the charism, the communication we establish with other people has to be based on things with meaning. Asking not about work, but about projects, not about studies, but about areas of interest… in general, make the other person explain small stories about his life that mean a lot to him. Simply remembering them and explaining them to someone has two effects.
On the one hand, our interlocutor will have a pleasant time being the center of attention when telling something in what is the maximum authority; it is necessary to be very shy so that the feeling of vulnerability overcomes the desire to express something about what motivates us.
On the other hand, these kinds of conversations are an excellent way to create a fluid conversation, that is not limited to a succession of monosyllabic questions and answers .
Moreover, by talking about relevant aspects that have to do with one’s philosophy of life, it gives the opportunity to talk by exchanging opinions and showing one’s perception of reality. It is the ideal context to shape our personality, combined with what we saw in the previous point.
6. Don’t forget the names
Another little trick to gain in charisma is simply to remember the name of those people with whom we have related and, if possible, those important things about themselves that have been explained to us. It is, in short, another way of showing that those conversations of the past were something with real value, something that deserves to be remembered.