More and more importance is being given to emotional education , that is, fostering the emotional intelligence of the youngest, teaching them how to identify and manage their emotions.
However, parents and educators do not have many tools at their disposal to be able to teach children emotional intelligence.

Martin’s Three Treasures is a simple therapeutic story , through which three emotions can be worked on: sadness, anger and fear.

Why is it so important to teach children to manage their emotions?

Because children who know how to regulate themselves will become psychologically healthier young people and adults. It would be wonderful if there were also emotional education subjects in schools. Therefore, the main reason I wrote the story was to teach emotional regulation strategies to parents, teachers and psychologists , who can use it in their consultations and workshops.

How does anger work?

In the story, the dwarfs of the forest give Martin a feather to blow on every time he feels angry: The treasure of the feather . The pen itself does not have any power to regulate the anger, but the process of using the treasure does.

First, Martin has to go get the pen. The fact of realizing that he has to go and get it is already a very positive change, because little by little he is becoming aware of the emotion. This point is important because it helps the child to identify his anger. Being aware that when he gets angry, internally he is changing: he is getting faster, he is getting hotter and he is feeling tension. This is already the first step to change it.

Later, the little note left next to the pen: “When your calm is gone, blow the pen with desire” means introducing a positive self-instruction. It helps Martin to verbalize the process and cut out the mental content of the anger.

Finally, start “blowing the pen five times slowly and see how it moves”. This helps to divert attention from the object of anger and to activate the parasympathetic nervous system through deep breathing. The child will gradually notice that he is calming down.

We are also buying time for the anger curve to come down, so that their emotion loses intensity. The child will be able to calm down and then give an assertive response .

How does sadness work?

The second treasure that the dwarves gave to Martin was a stone in the shape of a ladybird , which they called: “Maryquitapenas”.

With this treasure we are giving the child the opportunity to express and share his or her sorrows with his or her parents. Let’s think that emotions, both positive and negative, are normal.
One of the mistakes that many parents make is not to tolerate their children expressing sadness. They do their best to prevent their children from crying, and when they do, they try to make the crying stop as soon as possible.

With this type of action, the message that the child receives is: “I don’t allow you to be sad”, “being sad is not good, you have to be happy”.
Once the child feels comfortable to express his sorrows without feeling judged , he can be asked to look for ways to find better solutions to his sorrows. If necessary, we can help him, but never by minimizing his emotion.

How does the story work on fear?

The third treasure is an amulet with which the child can face what he fears: “The golden almond”.

My son, for example, said that he put the fear inside the almond and swallowed it himself. That symbolism helped him to endure a little more each day alone in his room, until in the end he got used to it and lost his fear of sleeping alone.

Other children say that the almond gives them a superpower that transmits it through the pores of its shell. Each child will give you his or her interpretation. The important thing is that this treasure allows him to face his fear. The self-instruction: “When fear comes, grab the almond tight” is a message that helps him focus on embracing the fear, rather than taking it away from him.

What I wanted to work on here is the idea that when we fear a situation, when we face it we don’t do it without fear, but with it. The idea is to embrace the fear until it disappears. So don’t expect your child to be able to deal with the situation successfully on the first day. At first you will have the attitude of wanting to do it, then you will try it and after several attempts you will gain confidence until you succeed .

To buy the story you can do so through the website of the Institute of Psychology Psicode.