Relationships are a bond based on several key aspects to achieve an adequate coexistence between the members. Within this range of factors is the trust, which has a decisive importance in this emotional bond.

In this article we will see how mistrust affects our relationship , and we will also review what are the main signs that it is present within the love bond.

How does mistrust of each other affect the couple?

As we have seen before, trust in the partner plays a determining role within the relationship. When we get involved with someone in a sentimental way, we need to feel safe with that person, to have guarantees that that relationship has a stable future. When we do not achieve this emotional stability, we fall prey to anxiety .

Distrust in the couple’s relationship is a silent enemy, since does not imply an imminent rupture , but it does take charge of wearing down the affective bond to the point of damaging the coexistence, sometimes in a permanent way.

It doesn’t make sense to be in a relationship where most of the time you have doubts about your partner’s commitment to you.

As insecurity and distrust gain ground, mental and emotional wear and tear also begins to increase, which inevitably affects the quality of life of the people affected by these negative feelings .

Intrusive thoughts that do not allow us to concentrate properly on the more everyday things of our day-to-day life, lack of desire to do our activities, need to be checking that everything is OK in the relationship… These are just some of the ways in which distrust undermines relationships and the quality of people’s individual lives.

Signs of distrust in the relationship

Let us now look at some of the more specific complications that often occur when inappropriate feelings of distrust and insecurity affect people in their lives as a couple.

1. Sleep problems

Distrust generates in the person who suffers it an alteration in the content of his recurrent thoughts , which take on a catastrophic and anxiety-generating tendency. Generally, the subject finds it difficult to fall asleep due to these negative thoughts, which intensify at night.

2. Inattention

When distrust appears in the couple, it usually occupies a large part of people’s time, and implies the use of cognitive resources ; thought, analysis, and of course attention, which is compromised. The subject finds it difficult to focus on his daily activities because of anxiety.

3. Mood swings

Mood swings (emotional lability) are frequent during the states of anxiety characteristic of distrust in the couple. These consist in going from being calm to being worried, from being happy to being sad ; usually these transitions are abrupt, affecting the subject and his/her closest environment.

4. Irritability

Irritability becomes a constant when distrust of the partner becomes present. People tend to be intolerant of certain comments or situations , especially if they have to do with their love life, or if they are seen as an attack (direct or indirect). The subject becomes angry when dealing with a reality that is uncomfortable for him.

5. Frequent discussions with partner

Communication styles become dysfunctional when members of the marriage or dating relationship do not trust each other. They are usually predisposed to having heated discussions that only gradually wear down the relationship until, in many cases, they cause the break-up.

6. Tension in the muscles

Many of the psychological and emotional consequences of mistrust are also reflected at the physical level. **Muscle tension is one of the most common somatic forms **of noticing that something is wrong with our emotional state.

7. Tension headaches

Tension headache is a headache caused by a high and intense level of tension in certain muscle groups, especially those in the head and neck.

8. Tendency to isolate

When people have doubts about their partners, they do not like to be reminded of this, and that is why in some cases they decide to limit their social encounters further .

9. Substance use

Mistrust applied to love life is a complicated situation, which can lead a person to seek desperate solutions in the face of a feeling of uncertainty. One of the supposed alternatives may be the use of some substances that provide an apparent relief to this burden in the short term, such as alcohol or other drugs.

10. Infidelity propensity

The saying that a nail draws another nail takes on special relevance in these situations, where the couple is immersed in doubt. Some of the two parties may seek to feel a sense of security in another person , and this encourages infidelity to occur.

11. Food Binges

Food binges are a common reaction to the stress of not knowing what may be happening in the relationship. By not daring to confront our partner about what his or her feelings are, an irrational and constant appetite can occur as a way of venting doubt .

Bibliographic references:

  • Fehr, B., Russell, J. (1991). The Concept of Love Viewed From a Prototype Perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
  • O’Donohue, W. and Ferguson, K.E. (2006). Evidence-Based Practice in Psychology and Behavior Analysis. The Behavior Analyst Today.