Sexuality has been a taboo subject for centuries, and that is why many myths and preconceived ideas about this subject still creep in. This is why receiving information from experts is important.

Interview with Monica Dosil: resolving sexual difficulties

The Space of Psychology and Coaching Mónica Dosil is a place of wide professional trajectory in the locality of Castelldefels that has reach at world-wide level through the great projection that offers through the consultations online.

Psychologist Monica Dosil is the director of this clinical care center, and here she offers several guidelines and solutions to improve relationships and sexuality designed to improve quality of life.

What difficulties does the Psychology and Coaching Space that you run solve?

In our centre we treat all kinds of psychological difficulties, as well as the development of the possibilities you wish to incorporate into your personality and way of acting.

In addition to Couple’s Therapy and Human Sexuality, in the Psychology and Coaching Space you can treat any situation that has to do with human suffering, as well as perform a coaching process that allows you to redirect your life.

It is common that at the end of the treatment people tell us how easy the work was, as well as finding the solution for what seemed so complex in the first place.

When someone comes to the Psychology and Coaching Space, they need a professional who offers them a global treatment. In a short time the initial suffering dissolves and we move on to the next evolutionary stage where the person’s need is to learn to lead his life successfully. My objective is to train in this process while I focus with my client on promoting his emotional and personal autonomy, so that from that moment on, he can refocus himself every time a similar episode occurs.

What are the most common cases you deal with in human sexuality?

In Sexuality the most common cases I treat are those related to lack of desire in the couple, sexual routine, difficulty in reaching climax in men and women, and cases of premature ejaculation as well as erection difficulties and vaginismus.

Is the resolution of sexual difficulties complex?

In itself, no, what happens is that all these alterations have been happening for too long before the person consults, and this has set off a double problem, bad habits have been established and limiting beliefs have been generated about which intervention is necessary so that they do not alter the good evolution of the treatment.

People with alterations in their sexuality also have a tendency to develop an extra anxiety that does not help in the resolution of the conflict. Taking into account all these factors provides the ultimate key to success in therapy.

How do you work?

The work in many occasions is in team with the medical professional for the quick management of the anxiety.

I work from the belief system of the person, as well as on the bad habits established, on latent fears, and there is also a great deal of work on behaviour. All together it makes me approach cases multifactorially and this brings me closer to solving the problem. For me, the goal is always to shorten the period of suffering, which is what disables the person from being happy.

Why would you recommend people to visit a sexologist?

A sexologist is an independent professional in the field of psychology, although it is true that on many occasions the psychologist is a sexologist or the sexologist is a psychologist, and is the right professional to help the individual or couples to overcome the difficulties that arise in the field of sexuality. A difficulty of this type is simply everything that does not facilitate a satisfactory sexual relationship in a couple.

To go to a sexologist, it is not necessary to suffer from one of the major problems, such as vaginismus, erection difficulties or premature ejaculation. A sexologist also provides education in the sexual field, counseling when a change appears in a mature stage or when there are important doubts about the subject, and also offers therapy when the circumstances of your sexual life become problems that do not allow you to enjoy a fully satisfactory sexual life.

Although going to a sexologist can still produce a certain taboo, if you detect any difficulty in your desires, sensations or climax, what I recommend is that you consult at a preventive level, because in that phase the intervention of the professional is much more effective and at a preventive level sexology works magnificently. When the problem has already manifested itself and the body gets used to it, the modification of it is much more complex and requires more effort from the client.

When do you recommend couples therapy?

The first time you think that this could help your relationship is when you have to act.

Living together and other factors that occur in relationships promote a lack of focus on the real objective, quality in the relationship with your partner. This makes the relationship thinner and undesirable behavior towards the other person appears. At the moment that these appear also disappear fundamental situations that united both people, like the affection, the tenderness, the desire, and the positive emotions, in short.

The sooner you take action, the better, because then you don’t allow yourself to settle into what unproductive behaviors.

Is there a particular aspect of human sexuality that fascinates you?

Human sexuality seems to me to be the most wonderful of all interactions, it is the complete surrender between human beings who share their intimacy. If in your day to day life you have problems of communication, of relationship, of expression, the most common thing is that they are reflected in your sexuality.

It fascinates me when human beings discover the possibility of offering themselves pleasure in different ways without the act of penetration being necessary. It seems to me that this is the moment where they have learned the true value of sexuality and sharing.

Any recommendations to take into account when it comes to selecting a partner and/or sexology specialist?

In my opinion, the professional in relationships and sexuality has to be a professional of high human quality who proposes to resolve the difficulty in the minimum time possible and with great rigor. In addition, I think it is important that he or she can offer extensive experience in human behaviour.

What’s the best thing about being in Castelldefels?

More than 25 years ago I opened my first centre in Castelldefels, and since then I work and live happily in this wonderful city. I know that we are a reference in psychology and sexology for our community, and this makes me happy as well as highly satisfied. Recently we have opened the online consultations to save time for people who cannot travel and to allow quick access to my practice to all those who wish to come but who live in other countries.

For me, the access that technology offers to clients and professionals to meet and solve problems without the limitation of physical space is of great value.