Slow Parenting , is a style of parenting that promotes education based on the natural rhythms of the children themselves, beyond insisting that they acquire knowledge as quickly as possible.

Since its inception, it has been considered an educational revolution, as it makes important criticisms of parenting styles based on hyperactivity, and seeks to make children happy and satisfied with their own achievements, even if these will not make them the richest or the most popular or the fastest.

What is Slow Parenting?

Slow Parenting is also known as Simplicity Parenting. It is a style of parenting based on lifestyles in which daily activities are carried out at appropriate rhythms , without putting pressure on the development of learning and skills.

That is to say that, far from being a movement that suggests doing all our activities slowly, it is an educational proposal that values quality over speed : it suggests that it is more valuable to do things as well as possible, than to do them as fast as possible. Thus, it tries to make children learn the importance of achieving their own goals, beyond achieving them first.

Slow Parenting arises in response to the negative consequences of parenting styles that are based on speed and hyperactivity; an issue that is also part of the Slow Movement, where the tendency of our societies to equate success with speed is discussed.

A proposal in defence of slowness

The proposal of Slow Parenting comes from a series of books written by the Canadian journalist Carl Honoré , who, in fact, never used the term “Slow Parenting”, but did question the obvious obsession with acceleration that is characteristic of Western societies.

We tend to do things too fast, i.e. our habits are strongly based on speed . This is because we consider the latter to be a success factor: it is more valuable to get there first; than the process itself of getting there.

The problem is that this is a lifestyle that ultimately impacts our health, our relationships, our productivity and our creativity. In other words, too much haste directly affects our quality of life, so we should not transmit these values to children.

Although the author himself says he has never used the concept of “Slow Parenting”, now that it has become widespread he defines it as a way of creating balance in the home , which is based on the following premise: it is clear that children need to develop and adapt to the different demands that each environment presents them with, but this does not mean that childhood is a kind of career.

Parents should give children the time they need to explore the world on their own terms. Thus the Slow Parenting approach is to let children function according to their own needs, as these needs reflect their true potential (and not what we adults want them to be, do, aspire to or achieve).

This also means that children will receive the attention and affection they need without being conditioned to the rhythms we adults set in our adult activities.

Why did speed become synonymous with success?

Carl Honoré has also explained that our tendency to educate with speed has arisen from the need we adults have to create a “perfect childhood”. The problem is that often, this perfection is quite focused on consumer ideals .

For example, in the face of the widespread demand for “perfection” in Western societies, we are constantly seeking to have “the perfect house”, “the perfect job”, “the perfect car”, “the perfect body”, and there can be no shortage of “the perfect children”; this also connects with the new needs generated by globalisation: competition is the way to respond to crises and labour uncertainties.

In addition, Honoré points out the latest transformations in family models, where the number of children that many couples in developed countries have has decreased, giving parents less opportunity to generate parenting experience.

Likewise, the age at which people become parents significantly transforms educational styles . In view of the above, it is common for parents to feel distrust and uncertainty about their practices, and not knowing how to create “perfect children”, they delegate the responsibility to specialists, tutors, etc.; and they end up transmitting among themselves (among the parents of different families) demands for perfection and the idea of childhood as a competence.

Some suggestions from Slow Parenting

To begin to counteract what we have developed in the previous section, one of Slow Parenting’s proposals is to try to spend more time with the family, but trying to ensure that the main activity is not shopping, nor living around devices that do not facilitate interaction, such as television, but through truly interactive activities that also leave space for inactivity and rest for everyone.

Another suggestion is to encourage children’s spontaneous play , which is that which begins with their own initiative and curiosity about the elements of the natural environment in which they live. The latter to avoid imposing rigid models with contents that often do not encourage the creative and curious potential of early childhood.

Finally, Slow Parenting seeks to develop children’s ability to cope with the unpredictability of the real world and learn to know themselves from an early age.

In other words, tries to make children recognize that everyday life has risks , and the most appropriate way to do this is to allow them to face them. Only in this way can they generate strategies to detect their needs, solve their problems and ask for help in the right ways.

Bibliographic references:

  • Eldiario.es (2016). The philosophy of Carl Honoré’s “slow”, the “global phenomenon” against haste. Retrieved May 10, 2018. Available in https://www.eldiario.es/cultura/filosofia-Carl-Honore-fenomeno-global_0_508499302.html.
  • Belkin, L. (2009). What is Slow-Parenting?. The New York Times. Retrieved 10 May 2018. Available at https://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/08/what-is-slow-parenting/.
  • The Telegraph (2008). Slow parenting part two: hey, parents, leave those kids alone. Retrieved May 10, 2018. Available at https://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/3355928/Slow-parenting-part-two-hey-parents-leave-those-kids-alone.html.