Seduction is an interesting subject in which psychology has much to contribute . In order to seduce you have to master different communication skills and different social skills, because it is an act that takes place between two people.

Expectations, the image we give, the things we say and the security we show are key elements to be able to approach that person who attracts us.

Seduction techniques and rules

Some experts, such as Robert Greene, author of the book The Art of Seduction , affirm that there are different seduction techniques that practically ensure success when it comes to flirting (obviously not 100%).

However, it is important to understand that each person is a world and therefore, instead of focusing on aspects that we believe can work for everyone, it is necessary to focus on the needs of the person we want to seduce.

Seduction is an individual process in which we must analyse and intervene according to each situation. Each person has a different vision of the world and has different tastes and it is not possible to seduce all people equally.

However, there are a number of golden rules of seduction ; they are as follows.

1. Self-confidence and security

Self-confidence is not in itself a technique of seduction but an attitude , a way of showing oneself to others.

Without self-confidence it is impossible for the seduction process to go well. That’s why first of all you have to work on your self-esteem and face the seduction process with a positive mentality. The security we show is determinant to captivate the person we are attracted to.

If you think you don’t have a chance with that person, you can change your mentality and take the matter down. As I said, it’s the attitude that matters . So don’t have too high expectations (which can get frustrated), but relax and don’t idealise the person you are trying to seduce. Be calm and confident.

2. Be realistic

Being realistic is not a technique either, but it is a necessity. Do not attempt to use seduction techniques in situations where failure is assured. For example, when the person is in love with his partner and they are about to get married.

In some situations, seduction techniques will not be useful ; however, in those situations where you have possibilities, following these tips will help you break the ice and maximize your chances of meeting that person you want so much.

3. Focus on the brain

Many people make it clear that their desire is to be intimate with the other person, and although this is normal, there is no need to shout it out loud, especially when there is still no trust between the two .

To have options with that person, it is always better to stimulate the brain before the genitals, and that means that there is good communication and good chemistry . In other words, connect with their interests, their needs, and make them feel important.

4. Take your time

Seduction is about taking it one step at a time, and what makes one person want others many times is anticipation. When you find that person you are interested in, take your time . Wait a while before approaching them and start by listening rather than talking. Don’t reveal your intention within a few minutes, as this could be unpleasant.

5. Work on your social life

One of the golden rules of attraction is that no matter how much you go after someone that’s not going to make that person fall into your arms. We are usually seduced by people who have great social value, who other people like; that is, who have an active social life, since in part we see their value reflected in the opinions of others .

6. Work on yourself

There is nothing more seductive than a person who is happy with what he does and is proud of himself . That is why in order to please others, one must feel fulfilled and must pursue one’s dreams. When someone connects with himself it is easy to connect with others.

7. Detect the needs of the other person

We often think that the rules or techniques for flirting work with everyone, and it’s not exactly so. Why? Well, because every individual is a world and has needs. Sometimes we can hear the phrase “if you get past him or her you’ll see how they look for you”. In reality, the only thing you can achieve with this is that it gets further away from you and the trust between you is lost.

The important thing is that the other person is okay with you, that he is okay when you are around him. That’s why it’s better to focus on their needs rather than paying too much attention to popular beliefs or generalities.

8. Generates positive feelings in the other person

The explanation for the previous point is that people want to feel good and we want the individuals around us to generate positive feelings in us. It is the good moments that we remember, because unless a person has problems of self-esteem, he will tend to run away from toxic people.

9. Use your sense of humor

The best technique for flirting is to make people laugh . Along the lines of the previous point, there is nothing that generates more positive feelings than when we laugh with another person and have a good time, because our brain secretes neurochemicals related to pleasure and well-being: serotonin, endorphins, etc.

The sense of humor is one of the qualities of people that generate most attraction . This is what John Medina, a biologist who concludes that we are attracted to people and things that are fun, interesting, intriguing and that call our attention.

10. Create your own brand

The Times , interviewed Arden Leigh, director of a well-known New York seduction center, who says that women are more successful when they are differentiated from other women. The expert in seduction says that we must think like a company, specifically with regard to branding . “Branding yourself is the best way to seduce others and touch their emotional side,” says Leigh.

11. The Power of Mystery

Think mystery book, because you are always wanting to know more and more after every page you read. Well, mystery is one of the most effective weapons of seduction, since it makes one person develop expectations of the other .

That is why it is not good to give everything at once when we want to conquer someone, but we must go step by step, letting time do its work and the other person take an interest in us. These expectations and illusions, which have great seductive power, make the other person want to know more and more as they get to know us, and the feeling intensifies as time goes by.