Have you ever wondered what will be the most common repentance in people who are about to die ?

Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, observed through her work that the conversations she had with her terminally ill patients had certain similarities in their regrets. Let’s see what these ideas were that came from looking at one’s life in retrospect.

Wisdom to Squeeze the Life Out of You

People who were very close to reaching the end of their lives generally regretted the same things. Faced with this discovery, Bronnie decided to write down the confessions that her patients made to her . In fact, one of the factors that inspired her to carry out this task was the explicit request of certain patients.

In general, these patients wanted their stories to be told, their regrets not to go unnoticed, and to serve to help others. For them, talking to their nurse was the last chance they had to leave their legacy to the world: the wisdom that life had in store for them at the end .

Some time later, Bronnie would publish this valuable information on her blog, which in turn would become so popular that it would become the book The Five Commandments for a Full Life . However, its original title is much more powerful: Top Five Regrets of The Dying , or The Five Great Regrets of Dying People. The author develops, together with her own experiences, each of the 5 most relevant regrets in the book.

The most frequent regrets just before death

Below you can see the things that people regret right before they die.

1. I wish I had had the courage to live the life I wanted and not the one others expected of me

The expectations that others place on us , can sometimes be suffocating. It is normal to want to please other members of the family and society in general, but our efforts and decisions cannot be influenced by this alone.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard

Work is also essential for survival, but that does not mean that we should make it a speculative activity. Many people are prisoners of the need to armor their future by providing themselves with a very important economic cushion, while at the same time falling into a lifestyle based on consumerism full of habits that make constant work necessary .

3. I would have liked to express my feelings

Life in the West leads us to hide our feelings, usually because of a mixture between the exaltation of rationality and the need not to engage in strident behaviour that affects our professional lives.

4. I would have liked to keep in touch with my friends

There are many things that can lead us to underestimate friendship. But especially the lack of time because of work is something that has a great influence on this aspect.

5. I wish I had been allowed to be happier

Sabotaging oneself is frequent, if only because, as long as we do not leave our comfort zone, we prefer to put off again and again what would make us happy.

Even repentance is valuable

Although the regrets described by Bronnie sound simple, in reality, they are very deep. Reason and logic let us know that life is finite , yet we often act as if it is not, as if we have all the time in the world.That is to say, when we enjoy youth and well-being, we unconsciously believe that things will always stay that way.

That can result in us postponing our dreams or underestimating the true value that simple things bring us and prioritizing others that, at the end of our lives, will not be so important.

There are plenty of examples. Not expressing our emotions, sustaining a relationship for fear of being alone, neglecting friendships and meaningful relationships because of a demanding or unsatisfactory job, not practicing that hobby that we have always found interesting… and a long etcetera, can cause us painful regrets in the future .

But knowing the 5 regrets of the dying brings with it an optimistic message of hope. Bronnie Ware gave voice to her patients and tells us strong and honest stories to lead us to reflection.

Learning from mistakes

The most common regrets can be our teacher and not our destiny. It is up to each person to live in an intentional way, where every decision we make corresponds to something that brings us closer to our goals or simply causes us joy.

Yes, it is true that life will end some day and it is also true that we will inevitably make some mistakes . But today, when we are here, we can honor our dreams, fight for our true goals and enjoy the relationships we have created with other people.

If you identify with any of the 5 points, remember that life is shaped by the decisions we make and reading the 5 biggest regrets of dying people can help us to value our decisions and make the changes we consider necessary. It is totally valid to change the course we have taken. Let us not reach the end of our life to realize that we have failed to live it.

We can all be part of another group of people, those people who on their deathbed are at peace with their decisions, acts and memories.