Are you feeling the pain of an emotional breakup? It is very likely that you are feeling a void right now, which can lead to homesickness and melancholy. After a break-up, you experience a mourning process that is part of the therapeutic experience of emotional healing in overcoming a wound. How would you define your situation?
There are different circumstances that can accompany a breakup. For example, it is not the same for a person to feel abandoned by his or her partner against his or her own personal desire, as for this to be a mutually agreed upon decision. In other cases, the lack of love comes even after having fought for a last chance in couples’ therapy. But, in general, there are a series of stages of the disaffection that explain what you are feeling during the process.
Stages of disaffection
At first, the rupture brings with it the psychological impact . Even in those cases where there were already indications that the relationship was not on the right track, the definitive end produces an impact because it brings out the reality of the goodbye. At this stage, the person concerned also feels the disorientation of his life because of a chapter in his life that is closing and a new cycle that has yet to be written.
Faced with this duality of past and future, it is possible to experience contradictory feelings of longing for what is left behind and curiosity about this new horizon of the future. The person may even feel anger for what happened, an anger that is a form of denial of one’s own reality.
However, grief is overcome when the protagonist assumes his own responsibility for what happened and accepts the story as it was. In fact, in a break-up there is always responsibility on both sides, don’t you think?
The importance of the first year after the rupture
The first year after the breakup of a stable relationship is especially significant, because it is on this date that days as nostalgic as the couple’s anniversary, birthdays or Christmas parties are celebrated.
Beyond this first year, when the sadness even affects the quality of life of the affected person, a pathological grief may occur that shows a form of unhealthy sadness . In other words, the sadness that you experience in a lack of love is a natural feeling; however, it is important not to dramatize this pain.
Practice the psychology of taking care of your mental hygiene right now. The sadness of the lack of love can lead to depression when the person positions himself before this situation as a victim.
Those who associate the idea of happiness with being in a couple may suffer irrationally from loneliness . If this is your case, it is very important that you reflect on your own personal beliefs so as not to prolong ideas that limit your personal development. There are many different paths to happiness. Therefore, don’t let yourself be limited by social labels.
How do you get over a breakup?
If you are going through a break-up, it is very important that you build up personal resilience to find supports with which to deal with this emotional pain. For example, friendship is therapeutic because it provides company and comfort to heal the wounds of the heart. Overcoming a lack of love does not mean forgetting the past, but rather integrating yesterday in a positive way into your own biography.
For example, you can say goodbye to your ex out of respect and gratitude for the time spent together, but knowing that this is not a good time to be friends. Distance is healthy for your feelings to evolve. But, in addition, this real distance allows you to assimilate the personal change that this break-up has produced in your life.
For this reason, it is advisable to avoid even contact through social networks. This is a good time to get reacquainted with yourself, to enjoy your own company, while you enjoy simple and relaxing activities such as reading, movies, cooking or any activity that you like and that helps to distract your mind.
Practicing sports is also a health routine to overcome the negative thinking that so often produces disaffection, through the vitality and energy that activates your mind and heart through physical exercise. Walking every day for half an hour is a wellness incentive to heal the wounds of the lack of love through an activity that raises self-knowledge. Cheer up!
Positive attitude towards lovelessness
Your attitude is more important than the external circumstances. You can find constructive meaning in a lack of love if you can focus on a present goal that excites you. For example, your professional development can be an incentive for you if you find a good opportunity to advance your career at this time.
If you need help after the breakup, you can also do therapy online. In other words, an online psychologist can help you enhance introspection at this time.