Social relationships are always complicated, both for men and women . Although we look alike in many ways, we are also very different in others.
In the particular case of relating to the opposite gender, men tend to be more direct. That’s why it’s common that during the initial stages of getting to know each other and starting something similar to a dating relationship, they go a little faster than they do.
But just as it is common for men to initiate romantic relationships in a relatively direct way, it is also common for them to cut off the relationship in a characteristic, direct way. Let’s see what to do when a man walks away , leaving behind a stagnant or directly broken relationship, blocked.
How to cope when a man walks away
Let’s look at some coping tools for this situation, to avoid it affecting the mood too much and causing additional problems.
1. Evaluate the reasons: do not assume without foundation
When the subject has suddenly stopped being close, no longer writes, no longer responds, no longer calls… the situation can lead to a series of assumptions that respond more to our emotionality than anything else.
The best thing is to keep calm and not fall into extreme hypotheses . When in doubt, what we should do is look for a clear answer from this person, approach him with the firm conviction of obtaining an accurate response to the situation.
If this is not possible, then it is time to respect the other person’s apparent motives, without assumptions, and to respect distance. Remember that nobody is indispensable for happiness .
2. Be firm in your decisions: opportunities have a limit
In some cases, especially when there is an emotional attachment component, it is common that you do not want to accept that the subject has moved away, and you are not constant in your decisions to move away as well.
For example, if you have decided that the healthiest thing for you is not to give more than you receive and not to pursue this man’s permanence in your life, you must carry it out.
The more constant you are and the more time passes without you coming into contact with that person, the closer you will get to overcoming it , which is ideal. It is never good to leave our tranquility in the hands of another person. If you depend too much on someone, it is a question that you must work on.
3. Giving yourself priority: your value as a person is not negotiable
After the forced separation, that is, when they have moved away from us without giving us any explanation to help us understand what has happened, it is quite frequent that we tend to self blame, thinking that the reason is because of our defects . These thoughts are a mistake.
Attributing the cause of the distance to a possible “defect” of ours indicates that we are not giving ourselves the right value as people.
We cannot possibly justify the distance from someone on the pretext that we are not good enough for them. It is a harmful thought that we must recognize and change immediately.
4. Avoid forced replacements: One nail does not remove another nail
It won’t do you any good to try to find someone else to forget the one who’s gone. In fact, you will only succeed in diminishing your autonomy, which is counterproductive for you . The best thing to do is to take some time to be alone.
Find activities where you can distract yourself from forced social contact and focus more on yourself. In addition, you can meet people who have common interests with you, and build a friendship that is not based on commitment, but on sharing the enjoyment of a common hobby.
5. Do not generalize: all men are not equal
Emotions sometimes lead to exaggerated, or generalized, thinking. When a man walks away without fully clarifying his motives, then unconscious defense mechanisms arise that play some tricks on us… For example, to rationalize in a subjective way that all men are equal, and that if one abandoned you, all will do it.
Gender does not imply the way of understanding relationships , those beliefs are only myths and old paradigms that we must leave behind.
The more rational we are and accept that things will not always go our way, the more we will stop looking for the answers outside, and find them within ourselves.
6. Closing cycles: letting go of personal growth
When a stage has completed its cycle we must accept this situation and let go of what we once wanted. Letting go of what accompanied us for a while so that we can move forward and meet new people, live new experiences. Clinging to a person is not healthy , and even less so when that person has voluntarily left us.
Closing a cycle implies understanding that there have been good times and bad times, and that now all of this is part of our learning as a person, which allows us to mature emotionally so that we can then live the new experiences from a new perspective.
- Masman, K. (2010). The Uses of Sadness: Why Feeling Sad Is No Reason Not to Be Happy. Allen & Unwin.
- Sternberg, R. J., Weiss. K. (2013) A New Psychology of Love. Yale University Press.