10 tips to better fit the reviews
We all get criticism from time to time. Sometimes it may not be true, but other times it can help us to think about what we are doing wrong. It’s not the same to be criticized to our face and explain the reasons for the criticism, as to do it in a public place in front of other people and without explaining what they think we’ve done wrong. But what do we do in those situations where we are made to look ridiculous? Do we pretend we haven’t heard it? Do we get angry and let the situation get out of hand?
You may not be able to stop someone from criticizing you, but what you can do is change the way you perceive criticism. When you find yourself in this situation, we invite you to try out these 10 tips to help you cope with criticism .
1. Evaluates the critics and the person who makes them
It is important to be objective in order to know how to respond and to act. There is a big difference between constructive criticism and criticism from someone who only wants to hurt you to discredit you. Therefore, assesses whether what that person says is true .
What to do: Try to get away from the situation and lower your ego, just as if the situation were happening to someone else and not to you. Take a deep breath and don’t let yourself get angry.
2. Recognize your emotions
The pressure of the moment can overpower you if you are not able to recognize your emotions or what is bothering you from criticism. When someone hurts you, especially someone close to you, it is still best to let it go to avoid unnecessary confrontation. But it is important that you recognize those emotions because they can indicate that something is not right. If you don’t pay attention to your emotions, the problem may become bigger and even eternal. Recognizing the message they send is the beginning of dealing with problems properly.
What to do: Before you get carried away with the impulse, pay attention to what your emotions are trying to tell you. Ask yourself: If this emotion could speak now, what would it say? What would it do? Or… What can I do to get out of this situation in a relaxed way?
3. Set clear limits on habitual critics
You can decide who and what you tolerate in your life. Because both in your personal life and in your work life you can meet people who criticize you, but you decide the limits you put on that person and how you are going to feel about what they say about you . It is good for your well-being to get away from these toxic people, as they can affect you emotionally. At work it can have a negative impact on your performance, your creativity and it can harm the good work climate.
What to do: Decide what you will do if the critic continues to criticize. Try to let them know, calmly and gently, that you are not prepared to tolerate this situation. For example, you can tell him that this time you are going to let it go, but if it happens again, the relationship with that person will end. When you make it clear where the line is, you make yourself respected. Be sure to take action if it happens again.
4. Seek the hidden truth
People close to us, co-workers or someone in line at the supermarket may respond to our actions, and their behaviour may reflect our own words . Their criticisms, however harsh or spiteful, may hide some aspect of our own behaviour that we have refused to see, but which may be true. For criticism to be constructive, seek out that hidden truth, even if it is not always easy to accept.
What to do: Instead of reacting with anger to criticism, have the courage to ask yourself: Is there any truth to this criticism? Then ask yourself or the other person again if there is anything you can do so that they won’t be offended.
5. Don’t let them tell lies about you
When someone spreads rumors or lies that can affect your work or relationships, you can’t ignore it. In these cases it is better to face the problem head on to clear your name .
What to do: To keep your mind clear, take a few deep breaths and pick up a piece of paper. On one side, write the rumor or lie. On the other side, write the lie as you see it. Meet with those people who may have misunderstood your actions or words and calmly explain how you feel and what really happened. Even if they don’t believe you, at least you’ve been able to defend yourself, so you can get on with your life.
6. Solves problems from the heart
If you speak from the heart and in an honest manner, it is much better than reacting impulsively and spitefully. Acting this way makes you a great person, and doesn’t allow the situation to get worse
What to do: In difficult situations, reconnect with yourself and your heart. Just close your eyes and breathe. Think of something beautiful or something to be deeply grateful for. Once the anger is gone, revisit the problem and ask yourself: What can I do to resolve this situation? What is my next step? Listen to the answers that come from your heart.
7. Go your way
When an insult from someone immature comes to you, instead of making them take the role of a victim, you go your way. Don’t let criticism distract you from your goals . Think of those comments as mere noise.
What to do: Don’t let damaging criticism get to you, and don’t let all the critics knock you out. Not every criticism demands a response. Stay focused on keeping important things in your life so you can continue to give a lot to others.
8. Open your heart to the critics
Sometimes what affects you is not your fault. The person criticizing you may have a self-esteem problem or be going through a bad time . At these times, it may be their way of saying that they need help. For example, your roommate may be having a bad time with his or her partner and criticizes you for not picking up the dishes. In this case, you may be in his crosshairs because you are close to him, but what really happens to him is that he is not able to handle so much emotional pain. Shake his hand instead of fighting with him.
What to do: When you detect that this may be the problem, ask him what is wrong with him. You can also tell her that you know she’s having a hard time and that it’s affecting your relationship.
9. Be polite but firm in public
Humiliation, whether by a boss or co-worker at a meeting, or by a family member, can be embarrassing and uncomfortable. Don’t criticize the critics or fight with them . This will only harm you. Be polite, calm and control your impulses.
What to do: If someone has legitimate reasons but has verbalized them in the wrong way, smile and say something to break the tension, and then add, “If there’s something that’s been bothering you, I’d like to talk to you about it later.
10. Don’t take it personally
If you’ve heeded the above advice and adjusted your behavior but are still critical, it’s time to move on. Unfortunately, some people criticize in order to project their own problems onto others . So don’t take it personally.
What to do: Instead of wasting your energy and attention on critical comments, get rid of them, accept them, let them go, and get on with your life.