In the world of interpersonal relationships, especially in the world of couples, there are difficult moments that we have to live through . One of them is when we live an unrequited love or when we are in a relationship and we know that the time has come to say goodbye because we have tried everything and it does not work.

These situations can create great suffering, and remaining in them can be devastating. That is why, although no one likes to say goodbye to someone they love, sometimes it is the best option.

When saying goodbye is an opportunity to grow

Goodbyes can be very hard, especially when we know that we will never see that person we have loved so much again, and we are aware that nothing will ever be the same again and that, in time, the connection that once existed will disappear.

But there are times when saying goodbye is an opportunity to grow, and also an opportunity to redirect our lives towards the path we desire, because when love is not reciprocated, the obstacles in the way can be too great to continue on that path. In these cases, we should be intelligent and take the right path, the one that allows us to become ourselves again and that leads us to our well-being.

That may sound selfish, but it’s even worse to stay on that path where the other person will be selfish with us at some point or another, because when we don’t feel the same and the relationship is not equal. When a relationship begins to be toxic, we have the potential to lose yes or no.

The decision to say goodbye can be hard, but in this context it is undoubtedly the least bad option . Although at the moment of saying goodbye it seems that the world is ending, the truth is that it is a way to close a stage and start a new one. One that will allow us to grow, and from which we will be able to take advantage of that initial pain to be more of who we are and develop as people.

Saying goodbye even though there is still love

Even if we are clear that we must say goodbye to that person we love so much, it is not always easy to take the step. In the following lines we give you some tips to say goodbye even if you still want to.

1. Understand the situation and don’t rush

Saying goodbye to a person we love should not be the result of an impulsive act, but should be meditated upon and reflected upon. This means that the situation must be understood and seen in an objective way. And when it is clear that remaining in that situation will only cause pain, it is better to let it go. Now, there are always other options before this one. For example, opting for dialogue or going to couples therapy if you want to save your relationship. However, there are moments when goodbye is inevitable, and then all that remains is to say goodbye .

2. Be realistic

If you have already given yourself a deadline for things to change and they haven’t, if you have tried to talk and things don’t get better, don’t be fooled: people don’t change if they don’t want to change, so staying in that relationship longer will only hurt you .

3. Be sure you really want to do it

The reason for not rushing is to be really sure that the decision we are going to make is the right one. When you are clear, and have assessed the pros and cons of your decision, then you can move on with your life .

4. Be honest

At the point of saying goodbye, we need to be honest. But not only with the other person, but also with ourselves. Going face-to-face is the best option, although many people find it difficult to talk about their feelings and expose what they really think .

5 Be respectful

If you are honest, you must also be respectful. Therefore, it is possible to say things clearly without a hurtful tone . Being assertive is a great virtue, and being able to state your views will always be to your benefit. However, you must also be respectful of the other person, and if he or she does not want to be with you, you must understand that this is something that happens and you must accept it.

6. Find the right moment

It is always good to find the right moment to talk and, if possible, to say it to your face . Now, if it is not possible, try to make the message respectful and expose how you feel. You can send an email or a whatsapp if the other person cannot meet you.

7. Be consistent

It is clear that the message for that special person, if it is sincere, will express your deepest feelings despite saying goodbye . But you must remember the situation that led you to say goodbye, and you must remain faithful to the idea that it is over. Don’t fool yourself, because if the person doesn’t want to be with you, he or she won’t be. Once you have expressed yourself, be consistent with what you have said. If it’s goodbye, it’s goodbye.

8. Close the door

You will probably want the other person to swear eternal love to you after the message, but this rarely happens . If you have thought about the decision, you have done the right thing. Don’t leave the door open with phrases like “see you soon”, because what happens in the future will be seen later. Although hope is the last thing you lose, you should not feed it. To overcome this situation you must stick to the premise of “all or nothing” or “with or without you”. If in the future you take up the relationship again to be good friends, it will be because you have wanted to and that is what you feel.

9. Understand that the road will not be easy

It often happens that, after expressing your feelings, you feel a certain comfort and sense of catharsis. However, leaving someone you love behind is one of the hardest experiences we can have . Lack of love is a process that is not linear, but there will be days with ups and downs where you will want to cry and others where you will want to give vent to your anger. It’s part of the process, so understand that and move forward with the decision you’ve made.

10. Don’t run away from your emotions and give yourself time

If you feel like crying, do it. Take a moment during the day to miss that person at first, but in time you will regain your stability and get hooked on life again. If you want to know more about how to deal with this situation, you can read our article “The 5 phases of grieving a break-up”.