When your happiness depends on other people, then you are an emotionally dependent person . This problematic situation causes you to feel addicted to your partner even though things are not going well between you.

And even if you know that you have not been well in your relationship for a long time, you are not strong enough to step forward because of fear of uncertainty or because you do not trust yourself when facing situations that may arise in your daily life. You are afraid of being alone, and you prefer to stay there knowing that you are not happy.

If you feel identified with this and think it would be positive to get out of this situation, in this article you can see some keys and tips to become an emotionally independent person .

How to get out of this painful situation

Although men often hide this problem out of embarrassment at recognizing and expressing their emotional dependence on another person, this phenomenon affects both sexes equally.

Emotional dependence causes great suffering because those who experience it think they are unable to live without the other person , and it occurs when they have low self-esteem or wrong beliefs about what a relationship should be. It is a type of immature love that has no future. It takes courage and bravery to learn to overcome emotional dependence, but it is worth it to finally be able to take control of your own life.

  • If you want to know what a healthy love looks like, you can read our article: “Mature love: why is second love better than first?”

Tips for overcoming emotional dependence

If you want to overcome emotional dependence and become more autonomous and independent, you can follow the advice below:

Be honest with yourself and acknowledge that there is a problem

One of the most complicated things to do when someone is in this situation is to do a deep reflection on what is happening. It is easier to look the other way or to blame other people than to look inward and acknowledge that we have a problem.

Taking time for self-observation and honestly acknowledging that there is a problem is the beginning of being able to step forward and end the emotional dependence.

2. Don’t be afraid of uncertainty

Because, many times, it is the fear of being alone that makes us return and go back to that toxic relationship that causes us so much pain and suffering. When we feel that the future alone is uncertain, we prefer to stay there, in the place we already know. Therefore, it is necessary to leave the comfort zone and adopt a positive attitude towards change.

3. Learn to say “no”

Learning to be assertive is essential to enjoy the emotional balance needed for greater well-being. Being assertive means saying what you think while respecting the other person with whom you interact. That is, is about respecting the other party, but it also means respecting oneself . Learning to say “no” is essential to recover emotional autonomy.

4. Work on yourself

The main problem of people who are emotionally dependent is that they are too aware of the other person and forget who they are. One must pursue their goals, have their hobbies and work on growing every day a bit like a human being or, in other words, self-realization. To stop being an emotionally dependent person, one of the keys is to fight for one’s own personal development.

5. Y… strengthen your self-esteem

Working on oneself is the first step in strengthening one’s self-esteem, which, as already mentioned, is one of the main reasons why an individual finds himself in this situation. Moreover, the longer one stays in this toxic relationship, the more one suffers the consequences in terms of self-esteem .

That is why it is necessary to carry out strategies that help to improve self-esteem. I recommend you our article: “10 keys to increase your self-esteem in 30 days” to work on your self-evaluation.

6. Review your beliefs

Another of the main reasons why someone can end up in a situation of emotional dependence are the beliefs that one has about what love is and how a relationship should be.

To avoid this, it is necessary to question one’s own beliefs and to think critically about them . In the movies love may seem very beautiful, but reality is different. One should not force oneself to be in a couple for fear of being alone or because of the need to have a partner and get married.

You can enjoy great satisfaction and well-being when you are single. You can check it out in this article: “Is it possible to be single and happy? The 8 benefits of being single.”

7. Relationship with other people

It can also happen that the emotionally dependent person has a poor social life, few friends or feels isolated. This causes a complicated situation, because the person has no one to talk to and explain what is happening to him or her. Also, having an active social life makes us enjoy much healthier relationships and not depend so much on one person.

8. Be brave

To get out of this situation it is necessary to take responsibility, because you can choose between staying there and taking a step forward to end the problem. You have to be brave and not be afraid of the future. To do this, there is nothing like setting yourself short-term objectives that are very clear from the start . Changes require a period of adaptation, and in time you will not regret making the decision to leave this toxic relationship behind.

9. Resist the temptation to turn back

Obviously, there will be easier moments and more difficult ones when you take a step forward. But you should know that change is never easy and that there can be ups and downs along the way. Understanding this can make you aware that you must resist the temptation to turn back.

10. Learn to love in a healthy way

To begin to heal our relationship we must love in a healthy way and leave behind many limiting beliefs that we carry with us and that prevent us from enjoying relationships in their fullness . As the experts in personal development say, this is a very heavy rucksack. Moving from emotional dependence to affective autonomy is one of the keys to achieving well-being as a couple, and for this, it is necessary to love in a mature way.

11. Avoid other people’s expectations

Many of the emotionally dependent people are likely to have unrealistic and overly intense expectations about what they can expect from others. This often leads to an idealisation of the other party , and it is not a wise decision to fill the gap we may feel with ourselves with the need to have someone by our side at all costs.

Living with this illusory image of another person can be dangerous, because even in the face of evidence that the expectations we have are not true, those expectations can keep us clinging to something imaginary, an unrealistic image of what the other person is. Realizing this can help overcome emotional dependence.

12. Seek professional help

In some cases, these tips can help you get through this situation and realize what the problem is. Being aware that you are emotionally dependent, recognizing that you are afraid of being alone, and working to grow and develop as a person are strategies that will help you improve your well-being and empower you in the face of life and uncertainty.

However, getting out of this dark place, the toxic relationship, is not always easy. The best way to achieve this is to seek professional help , as a psychologist can help you acquire tools to improve your self-esteem, your interpersonal skills and, therefore, your well-being.