Human beings are social beings and in fact interpersonal relationships are an important factor in our emotional well-being.

The deficit of social skills negatively affects our mental health and therefore it is necessary to acquire a series of skills that help us to live in harmony with others and, consequently, with ourselves.

  • Related text: “The 10 Basic Communication Skills”

What are social skills

Social skills are a series of competencies and behaviors that we use when relating to others, and they allow that relationship to be mutually satisfactory and effective. But, what are the most important social skills?

  • Active listening
  • Assertiveness
  • Emotional validation
  • Empathy
  • Negotiation skills
  • Respect
  • Credibility
  • Positive thinking
  • Emotional regulation
  • Patience
  • You can deepen these and more social skills in our post: “The 14 main social skills to succeed in life”

Books on social skills

Since it is about skills, it is possible to acquire and learn them . Many books deal with this subject and provide knowledge about which are the most important social skills and how to use them.

Aware of the benefit that your mastery brings, in this article we have prepared a list of books that do just that, help you improve your social skills .

1. Interpersonal Intelligence (M. Silberman and F. Hansburg)

Much is said about emotional intelligence, a concept derived from Howard Gardner’s concept of multiple intelligences. However, a no less important concept is that of interpersonal intelligence, which also derives from the latter, that is, from Gardner’s theory.

Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to relate to others, to control our emotions. Also, doing it in an empathic and assertive way. One of the books that delves into this subject is Silberman and Hansburg. A work full of practical resources, which help to improve self-awareness and relationship skills with other individuals . It is a great text that uses direct language and includes self-evaluations to find out if you have learned from the content of the reading.

  • You can buy it here.

2. Ideas that stick (Chip Heath and Dan Heath)

Even if we sometimes think we are communicating with others in the right way, our message may not reach the other party in the way we think it will.

Communicating properly is an art, and there are people who do it really well. This text allows us to know, through social psychology, 6 important points about how to communicate ideas efficiently. This will be useful for you to get the most out of your conversations .

  • You can buy it at this link.

3. Speak freely (Alan Garner)

This is another one of those essential books on interpersonal communication , because it helps you to know and use efficiently the best techniques to start and maintain an interesting, stimulating and productive conversation.

In addition, it allows you to know how to deal with criticism and how to handle manipulation in a friendly and elegant way. You can’t miss it.

  • Buy it here.

4. Emotional Intelligence (Daniel Goleman)

Social and interpersonal skills are an important part of emotional intelligence . However, in order to be able to relate effectively, it is also necessary to be emotionally intelligent on an individual level. Knowledge about the emotions of oneself and also of others, and above all emotional regulation, are key to making our relationships with others healthy and lasting.

This book will give you all the knowledge you need to improve your relationships with other people.

  • Buy it here.

5. Just listen! (Mark Goulston)

Active listening is one of the most important social skills, because it allows us to interpret not only the verbal language of the person with whom we interact, but also their non-verbal language. Therefore, hearing is not the same as listening and communicating is not speaking all the time. Communication also includes, for example, understanding the needs of others or validating them emotionally.

This fascinating book will let you know why active listening and empathy are so important , and are one of the secrets of great interlocutors.

  • You can get it here.

6. The Power of Introverts (Susan Cain)

Introversion and shyness are not the same, although some use these terms interchangeably. And although not everyone thinks so, introverts can also communicate effectively and have healthy interpersonal relationships. This book explores this possibility in depth, looking at the most important aspects of the authentic potential of people with this personality trait.

If you are introverted, you can also be sociable and communicate better. You can see it with your own eyes through this work .

  • You can buy it at this link.

7. Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson)

Do you want to improve the way you communicate? Do you want to have interpersonal relationships with less conflict? Then this book is the one you need. Because we all know that when we relate to other people difficulties can arise. Relationships are not always easy.

That is why, under these circumstances, it is necessary to possess key interpersonal skills to negotiate and to learn how to overcome difficulties in the most appropriate way.

  • You can buy it here.

8. Body Language (Allan Pease and Barbara Pease)

Non-verbal language represents almost 70% of the information we convey to our interlocutor when we make communicative contact with other people. It is therefore extremely important to be aware that non-verbal language is just as important as verbal language and, unfortunately, we tend to ignore it.

This book reminds you of its importance and gives you the keys to improving this type of language.

  • You can buy it here.

9. The Myth of Charisma (Olivia Fox Cabane)

People with charisma give off a magnetism towards other people and have great success in their interpersonal relationships . Scientists have tried to decipher what characteristics these people have and why they are so valued by others.

In this book you will find theoretical and practical knowledge on this subject. This way you can improve your relationships with others.

  • Buy it here.

10. Enrich your personality (Florence Littauer)

The author of this work is well known in the circle of couples therapy and thanks to her experience she has been able to get to know more about what happens when people relate to each other with or without success.

She is also an expert in personality, and with this text she helps you to improve the different facets of your life so that you can relate better to others .

  • Buy it here.

11. How to improve your social skills (Elia Roca Villanueva)

A comprehensive book to review the theory and practice of communication and social relations.

12. Talking: How to Talk to Other People (Aston Sanderson)

One of the best known books for working on self-confidence, social skills and the ability to make oneself understood.

  • You have more information about this book here.

13. Assertiveness (Olga Castanyer)

Assertiveness is a fundamental ingredient of social skills, and this is an excellent tool to promote it.

  • Read more about the book here.

14. When I say I do not feel guilty (Manuel J. Smith)

Knowing how to defend one’s point of view is often one of the most problematic aspects for shy people.

  • In this link you have more information about this work.