Relationships are almost always complicated . In psychological consultations, mental health professionals often see cases of couples who get on badly, to the point of reaching levels of stress and significant discomfort.
Today we will talk about the toxic couple relationships : those relationships in which at least one member of the relationship has totally inappropriate behaviours and attitudes, which can lead to a situation of psychological and emotional vulnerability for the other person.
Toxic Relationships: Boyfriends and Girlfriends that Make Life Miserable
Be careful, because even though there is love (or something similar to it), there are couples in which there are really dangerous dynamics, and which can border on psychological abuse .
- You can learn more in this article: “The 30 Signs of Psychological Abuse in a Relationship”
Cases of toxic relationships can be more or less severe, and in today’s article we have tried to detect and describe a total of twenty-three signs that a relationship may be going down a very bad path. Certain situations and circumstances may be more prone to the emergence of these “differences” between partners.
The 23 signs that your relationship is toxic
Many times, people who are in toxic love relationships are not able to realize that they are living in abusive situations. The love we feel for that person can cloud our judgment and we can tend to forgive anything . It is very common that this type of toxic attitude is “normalised” by the victim.
And even though family and friends may warn us that some things we’re putting up with are simply not acceptable, we can still blindfold ourselves. This article is intended to help people who are in such a relationship or marriage improve their situation.
- You may be interested in: “Infidelity in relationships”
We go there with the 23 signs that your partner is toxic or is going through a time when she can cause conflict:
Control attitudes and latticework
1. It bothers you to spend time with your friends or family.
2. Control your personal expenses, keep unnecessary control over your bank accounts, or ask for explanations of your bills.
3. Research your social networks and your mobile phone. It does not respect your privacy.
4. Constantly ask about your schedule and plan your life without asking for your opinion.
5. When he does you a favor, he demands that you compensate him immediately.
6. He/she belittles you and gives you to understand that without him/her you would be nothing and could not go on.
7. At family or friend gatherings, you avoid giving your opinion about something for fear that it will scold or question you again.
8. It is common for him/her to use emotional blackmail with you: if you don’t do what he/she wants, he/she gets angry.
9. You notice that every time you spend time with someone of the opposite sex, your partner gets overly upset and jealous, forcing you to not see that person anymore.
10. He treats you with an excess of paternalism and overprotection.
Attitudes of disrespect and conflict
11. He messes with your dress, tries to influence you in bad ways to change your style, and so on.
12. He does his best to play down your merits and virtues.
13. You play down the problems you express, minimizing them and saying phrases like “that’s no big deal”, “don’t complain about a vice”, etc.
14. When there is an argument, you must always give in, otherwise he can go for days without speaking to you.
15. He blames you for problems he has in his working life or with other people outside the relationship.
16. It’s always reminding you of all the mistakes and errors you’ve made in the past.
17. You have stopped telling your family, friends and loved ones about your relationship problems because you know that if they found out, they would be angry.
18. You avoid explaining problems or talking about certain issues with him/her because you know he/she would take it badly.
19. He addresses you with demands and bad manners very often.
20. Make decisions that affect both of you without asking for your opinion, or even informing you.
Toxic attitudes in the sexual environment
21. You notice that you have sex with him/her even though you don’t feel like it, just to please him/her or to keep him/her from getting angry.
22. Blackmails you or demands that you perform sexual practices that you do not like.
23. He compares you to other sex partners from his past.
Look out! We all have toxic attitudes at some point
We’ve been explaining all those attitudes and behaviors that can signal that your partner is toxic. But beware, because it is very easy to see the flaws in others and very difficult to make self-criticism .
Everyone, at some point in their life, can make mistakes and have one or more failures like the ones we have described. Therefore, we must be careful in judging our partner. It will only be a toxic relationship when several of the above problems occur on a regular basis. Anyway, sometimes the situation can be redirected thanks to communication and good manners .
In other couples, there may be no turning back and the relationship may be doomed to failure. It is up to each person to carefully analyze the situation to see if it is worth trying to fix things.
- G.G., Bolich. (2007). Conversing on Gender.
- of Celis, Estibaliz. (2011). “Prevention of gender-based violence”. In Pérez, Jesús; Escobar, Ana. Perspectives on gender violence. Madrid: Grupo 5 Editorial.
- Long, Scott. (2009). “They Want Us Exterminated: Murder, Torture, Sexual Orientation and Gender in Iraq. Human Rights Watch.