No one likes to be lied to, but realistically, everyone, at some point in their life, has lied. This is what is stated in a book called “Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception,” which was written by Pamela Meyer. In its pages appears an investigation that concluded that people lie between 10 and 200 times a day, since many times we only tell part of the truth. We are social beings, and we usually adapt many sentences to what is considered socially acceptable .

In another book, Robert Feldman, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, explains that “we tell two or three lies in the first 10 minutes of a conversation with someone we’ve only recently met. According to Feldman, the lie often happens to protect our own self-esteem.

Several dangerous lies we tell each other every day

Considering Friedman’s statement, people often mislead themselves to keep their self-esteem intact. But, what are the lies we tell most often in our daily lives?

1. Tomorrow I’ll leave it

This phrase is often applied, for example, when a person is a smoker and knows the negative consequences for their health. Smokers, despite knowing that smoking is harmful to them, continue to do so. The case of smokers is a classic example of cognitive dissonance, a well-studied theory that is defined as the anxiety, tension or discomfort that a person experiences when his or her beliefs and attitudes conflict with his or her behaviour. This anxiety causes the person to self-deceive in order to reduce the discomfort.

“Tomorrow I quit” is a way of not having to make a decision at that moment even though we see the negative consequences of our action . In the case of the smoker, he may see in the television advertisements that smoking causes cancer, respiratory problems, chronic fatigue and even death. In addition, images and a clear message appear on the cigarette packet.

Despite these messages, the smoker continues to smoke despite knowing that he should be healthy and that this drug is harmful to his health. Cognitive dissonance studies show that people avoid such anti-smoking messages and even justify them with thoughts like: “I’ll have to die of something”.

  • If you want to know more about the theory of cognitive dissonance proposed by Leon Festinger, you can read our article: “Cognitive dissonance: the theory that explains self-deception”

2. Tomorrow I start

The “I start tomorrow” is a classic of those who have the habit of postponing without any valid justification their tasks or activities . This is what is known as procrastination, and it is more common than it seems. In fact, a survey of 1347 subjects showed that one in four had a strong tendency to procrastinate. The study also concluded that there are no significant differences between men and women.

Another investigation that tried to find out how much procrastine a person has, found that employees, on average, put off their main task by one hour and twenty minutes each day. In the case of students, 32% are susceptible to this habit, according to a study by Patterns of Academic Procrastination.

Depending on the situation, “tomorrow I start” can cause serious problems, for example, stress when tasks pile up. On the other hand, this phrase is also typical when a person has serious difficulties in starting physical activity, so his or her health will also be affected.

  • You can learn more about this phenomenon in our article: “Procrastination or the “I’ll do it tomorrow” syndrome: what it is and how to prevent it”

3. Life is rosy (false optimism)

Optimism can be a great virtue when it comes to living a happy and fulfilling life, because optimistic individuals see the good side of life and the positive, instead of rejoicing in the negative. Optimistic people tend not to compare themselves to others, they are realistic, they know how to be self-motivated, they enjoy the present, they know what they want, they have a high level of self-confidence, they go beyond criticism, they are in control of their life and they are honest with themselves.

But this has nothing to do with false optimism, which is pretending to be an optimistic person and believing that life is rosy. False optimism is a mask that prevents us from reflecting on life and avoiding making committed decisions . False optimists are not honest with themselves, they are not in control of their life and they are not realistic either.

4. To want is to be able

“To want is to be able” is an excellent motivating phrase, which can help many people to achieve their goals . But this phrase should not be used to the letter, because it is not always true that you can have everything you want or get to where you want. When we set goals and objectives, they must be realistic, otherwise they can lead to frustration and discomfort.

Imagine someone who has a problem with their voice and wants to be a singer. This phrase is good when a person has potential and talent that can be developed. In other cases, where it is impossible to achieve the goal, the alternative is acceptance. But the key is to detect what we are good at and then it makes sense to apply this motivating phrase.

What a Liar’s Brain Looks Like

These lies or self-deceptions are quite common among the population, but some people are compulsive liars. Scientific studies have shown that the brain of a liar has some characteristics.

  • You can learn more in our article: “The Lying Brain: Do We Really Know Why We Do What We Do?”