4 principles the Toltecs taught us about relationships

4 principles the Toltecs taught us about relationships

The Toltecs were an ancient civilization that managed to dominate much of Mexico .

Much has been said about their contributions to the history of human development, and although these people have disappeared, there are still elements in their past and their way of seeing life that can inspire us to manage our relationships more successfully. There is a reason why they were considered “women and men of knowledge”.

Related article: “40 wise sentences to reflect on life”

The Toltecs and Folk Wisdom

Based on the doctrine of this ancient culture, the Mexican Miguel Ruiz wrote the book Los 4 acuerdos de la sabiduría tolteca.

These principles refer to and of the relatively simple but not so easy to put into practice ; however, once we master them our life will be more free of problems of communication with the people around us.

4 Toltec principles for better relationships

If you are eager to know what these four Toltec principles are for improving our interpersonal relationships , here is a quick summary. If you want to investigate more about this civilization, you may be surprised by the wisdom that emanated from their culture.

1. “Be impeccable with your words”

This principle consists of always bearing in mind that once we have spoken what has come out of our mouth can never be erased again , and it has already had some effects on our listeners.

This is the language aspect that some philosophers call the perlocutionary act of speech. This does not mean that we should speak less, but that we should reflect on the good or bad impact of what we say, and not only on whether what we say is true or not. It is a matter of not speaking impulsively.

2. “Don’t take anything personally”

It is very common that because of other people’s actions, we get into a bad mood; this is partly because we depend a lot on the opinion of others and we rarely stop to think that maybe the other person is projecting his or her problems and insecurities onto us.

So, it is worthwhile that when someone is making us feel bad, let us stop for a moment and think about the saying: “what John says about Peter says more about John than about Peter”.

3. “Don’t make assumptions”

Answer yourself this question: the times you have imagined or fantasized that the things others talk about have something to do with you, are they negative or positive things? If you answered that they are positive, bravo, you are one of the few people who think that way; but if you answered that they are negative, don’t be afraid, there is an explanation.

There is a theory according to which human beings tend to give more importance and credibility to bad news due to the survival instinct. Now, if we assume that others have a negative idea of us, how much harm can we not do to another person? How much negativity will go through our head while we are thinking such a thing? Gossip is something that damages our social relationships and can be prevented in a relatively simple way: by asking questions and getting rid of doubts.

4. “Always give your best”

This idea can be summed up as follows: the day when you give your best effort, in the best way you can and as you believe it, is when you will accept the consequences of your actions in the best way .

It is important to point out that it is good to seek a balance in what we do. To give what we can give, to do what we can do, but without committing ourselves to offer more than we can give, as that will only serve to produce stress and frustration. This Toltec principle is about the importance of accepting and knowing our limits, because knowing them will also make it easier for us to know if we are doing less or more than we could.

For reflection

We must remember that these are 4 principles or “agreements” inspired by an old civilization whose living conditions are very different from ours.

Therefore, it is our task to know how to interpret them well if we want to make them useful. However, and despite the practice and effort required to know how to apply them, it is easy to find in them a profound lesson on social relations and on how to find a balance between oneself and the social environment.

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