You don’t have to be a psychologist to try to find out what the people we relate to are like and why they think a certain way.

When we meet new people, the first thing we do is research their likes or concerns. Also, if the person interests us, we will want to know more about their past, their future and how they behave with other people.

Open-ended questions to find out how a person thinks

If you want some examples of open questions that will give you information about the person in front of you, here is a list of question phrases that you may find useful .

1. What is the difference between living and existing?

Living and existing are not the same thing. Existence is the fact of having life. Living is more than that. It is enjoying one’s existence, fighting for what fills you and your dreams. Living in the moment, the here and now.

2. What do you hate most about a person? Why?

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. There are things we all hate in others: acting in bad faith, being dirty…

3. What would you do differently if you knew no one would judge you?

To a greater or lesser extent, we all want to give an image to others. If no one saw you or judged you, what would you do?

4. What is the most important promise you have made to yourself?

It is possible that at some point in your life you have signed a kind of commitment to yourself, for example, to lose weight or to achieve some other goal.

5. How can we have healthy relationships?

Relationships are not easy, because each member has their own vision of life. For relationships to be successful, they have to be worked on.

  • If you want to know how to do it, you can read our article: “The 7 keys to a healthy relationship”

6. What is the meaning of life?

These types of questions are thought-provoking and make a person more aware of who they are and what they are looking for in life.

7. How do you measure life?

What is the most important thing in our lives? What do we value most and what do we value least? These are questions that make us think about our self-esteem and how we interpret what others think of us.

8. Are you in control of your life?

During our life, we can go through ups and downs . This is normal and it is something that can make us grow. Asking someone this question makes them think about what their current situation is.

9. Why do you sometimes behave like this?

People are strongly influenced by the situation, and we don’t always act right. For example, at times when we are living in a stressful situation, we can easily become irritated. This question makes the person wonder about his or her behavior.

10. How can you change your life?

This question can bring out a person’s fears, because change means leaving the comfort zone and that is only suitable for people with guts.

11. Which three people inspire you the most? Why?

We all have models in our lives. Those people from whom we have extracted their best virtues to try to apply them in ourselves.

12. Do you like to know what’s going on in faraway places? Why?

This is a way to find out what the person’s concerns are and what kind of thinking they have about the events around them.

13. Y… Where would you go for an adventure?

Similar to the previous question, in the sense that it can provide experience of how the person sees the world and know what experiences they might like.

14. When did you realize that you had entered adulthood?

This question aims to find out what the person’s level of maturity and responsibility is. However, if you are honest in your answer.

15. What do you miss most about your childhood?

It is also a way to learn more about their maturity and to learn about their perception of childhood.

16 . What kind of people would you be ashamed to be seen with?

Some individuals think too much about what others think of them and so want to project a positive image at all costs. This question is one way of finding out how much vanity they have.

17. What is your most vivid childhood memory?

Valuable information about the environment in which he was raised and about the things that may have marked him from his childhood

18. Why do you find it hard to value things?

We find it very difficult to value the things we have, since we human beings naturally get used to them. This question can make a person think as well as give us information about how he or she thinks.

19. What kind of people are you most sorry for?

This question is intended to explore the empathy of the person interacting with us. And… how are empathic people? You can find out in our article: “Are you empathic? 10 typical features of empathic people”

20. Do you consider yourself an honest person? Why?

An interesting way to find out what the person thinks about sincerity and how he or she relates to other people.

21. Do you have any fears in life?

The person you are talking to may have some hidden fears or concerns. This is a question for people close to you, for example, a boyfriend.

22. Have you ever been cruel or mean to anyone?

Many of us think that others must always be good to us, yet at some point in our lives we have surely been inconsiderate of someone. For example, a former partner.

Why do you feel this way?

An open and direct question to find out what your level of emotional intelligence is. Emotional self-knowledge is necessary for emotional regulation.

24. How do we know you’re doing the right thing?

Each person has his or her own beliefs and values. If you want to know how he thinks, you can ask him this question. Let’s see how he responds.

25. Which fictional character do you most identify with?

The individual who answers this question can express aspects of his personality and his tastes in fiction.

26. From which members of your family have you learned the most?

Family members are the ideal models. Parents, cousins, siblings… they can all be a great inspiration to a person.

27. What is the most embarrassing thing your parents have ever caught you doing?

An intimate question that can make you understand what that person thinks is right or wrong and, moreover, what embarrassing situation he or she has lived through.

28. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told and you haven’t been caught?

Although many of us find it hard to admit, we have all told lies in our lives. There are different types of questions, pious, instrumental, compulsive… The intention of this question is not to detect a liar, but to know more about his life.

29. What do you like least about yourself?

Ideal to know how the person is valued and if she feels safe or insecure with how she is . You can also find out if the person has any self-esteem problems.

30. What is the biggest rejection you have had in love?

Suffering from heartbreak is one of the worst experiences we can have, and some people suffer more than others. Love has a positive or negative influence on our self-esteem.

31. What’s the most bizarre thing you’ve ever done on your own?

The person will only answer this question if the level of trust between the two partners is very high.

32. Are there any secrets you haven’t told your parents?

There also has to be a great deal of trust between the two people for an individual to answer this question. This question can give information about the person’s relationship with his or her parents.

33. What do you like most about yourself?

A good way to find out if the person is valued positively and to know their virtues.

34. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love?

An ideal question if you’re interested in someone in the love scene. It’s a way of knowing if the person is romantic or not.

35. Do you consider yourself a happy person?

This question must be answered with sincerity, because there are many people who want to appear happy all the time.

36. What is your limit in intimate relationships?

An intimate question that provides information about how the person thinks about intimate relationships. It’s a way of knowing if you’re liberal or conservative.

37. If you could erase one negative experience from your life, what would it be?

Not everything in life is rosy. There are situations we have to go through that are hard. Even if they make us grow as people, we have suffered them at the time. This question provides useful information to know if the person has accepted that hard moment in his life.

38. What would be the perfect day for you?

Everyone has their own tastes and motivations, and what may be perfect for you does not have to be perfect for someone else. With this question it is possible to obtain information about the hobbies, tastes and expectations of the individual.

39. In what situations would you be willing to lie?

A way to explore the person’s honesty, although logically the individual will try to give a positive image of himself.

40. If you won the lottery, what would you spend the money on?

Winning the lottery can make us tremendously happy, but not everyone would spend the money on the same things . One way to find out what your concerns are.

41. What is the last lie you told?

Talking about one’s lies can be quite uncomfortable, especially when the questions are recent.

42. Why don’t you value the people who love you most?

If it has been commented before that people get used to the objects they have, it is frequent that some individuals do not value the people close to them, because they take for granted that they will always be there.

43. Do you think life is unfair?

Life isn’t always fair to everyone. This question provides information on what interpretation a person makes of life and whether or not he or she is optimistic.

44. Do you think people change?

People can change. However, it is up to them to decide that it is time to transform. The answer may provide information about whether the person is tolerant or not.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we afraid to make them?

A very true question that can make the person reflect deeply, as well as provide interesting information about how brave the person is.