I’m sure this has happened to you before: you meet someone, you start talking about any subject and suddenly you notice that discomfort invades the conversation .

At this point it is normal to feel that it is you who is causing the discomfort in the other person.

Insecure people: inferiority complex or simple shyness?

Until the moment you start talking to that person everything was going perfectly: you had a good day, you felt good about yourself. But from the moment you notice the discomfort with the conversation you’re having, certain doubts begin to arise about your appearance, your body language, your ability to communicate… In principle, the person in front of you has an impeccable image, a good position in his or her company and great communication skills. But they have the particularity of wanting to show everyone how well they are doing in life, whether in a relaxed context or in a business meeting.

Before these people, it is not uncommon for us to feel very small, insignificant , overwhelmed by their personal stories that show us that they seem to be people with magnificent lives.

Inferiority complex: a concept developed by Adler

The psychology behind the attitude shown by these people was developed by the Austrian psychoanalyst Alfred Adler , who proposed the concept of an inferiority complex. In Adler’s own words, people who have an inferiority complex often go to great lengths to overcompensate through what Adler calls “fighting for superiority”.

Insecure people who do not know how to manage their insecurity can try to make themselves happy by making the people around them unhappy. Adler adds that this constant struggle to feel superior is one of the most obvious signs of neurosis.

Obviously, not all insecure people are neurotic . Sometimes insecure individuals channel this characteristic through withdrawal or shyness. In fact, they are usually in the majority, but in this post we will pay more attention to the insecure ones with an inferiority complex described by Adler.

5 signs that we are dealing with an unsafe person

Next we will explain the different indicators and signs that can warn us that we are dealing with an insecure person… and with an inferiority complex.

1. may try to make you feel unsure of yourself

In the case of people with an inferiority complex, it is quite common for them to start questioning you and making you feel bad . Most often they are not particularly rude or ill-mannered; if they make you feel bad it is precisely because they show a false cordiality. It is also common for people with an inferiority complex to try to make you aware of their achievements and virtues at all costs. If you normally feel good about yourself but begin to doubt your worth when you are around certain people, they may be projecting their fears and insecurities onto you.

You may be interested in: “Emotional Vampires: 7 Personalities That Steal Your Well-Being”

2. Needs to show you his value and achievements

It is not a prerequisite that you feel insecure when you talk to a person to conclude that that person is projecting his or her complex onto you. Individuals who continually flaunt their education, lifestyle, personal and work achievements and their perfect family, may try to convince themselves that they are outstanding and valuable people .

3. Often uses false modesty

False modesty is one of the ways that insecure people use to brag about their accomplishments. For example, you may have noticed that you have a social media contact who complains about all the trips he has to take, but who really wants to show that he has an important job .

4. Often critical

People who have a permanent feeling of inferiority usually show that they have refined tastes and high expectations about everything around them. In fact, are often branded as snobs , because they are very critical of all cultural products that they believe are not up to par. They use this strategy not only to give an image of special people but also as a method for self-evaluation.

5. Beware, there are unsafe people worth knowing

Not all insecure people have an inferiority complex. Therefore, there are people who feel insecure because they are shy, or because the social situation (the context) of the interaction makes them a little uncomfortable. In order to talk to these people, make sure you are nice and relaxed , that you don’t seem to question or examine them. If you create a good rapport with them they are likely to open up to you and you can have a very pleasant interaction.