Does our personality change when we are alone? The simple fact that no one is looking at us may not influence us so much that we become someone else, but the truth is that privacy changes us.
Not only does it make us adopt a very different kind of habit from the one we carry out in someone’s company, but it even makes us react in a radically different way when exposed to certain types of situations.
What do you do when nobody sees you?
So… what are these actions that define the way we behave when no one is looking? These are some of them.
1. Click on publications in bad taste
For some time now, videos and publications about oozing wounds, corpses or parasites that live inside human body cavities have been circulating on Facebook. This is virilized content precisely because there is a massive amount of people clicking on these contents , even though no one else is looking. And well, malicious software that takes over user accounts also helps.
But… what is it that makes us feel attracted to this type of content despite finding it repulsive? The answer could be in the way they put us on alert and attentive to what’s going on. Just as in scary movies, the combination of a sense of control (these are images and videos that we can look away from) and excitement makes us want to experience the intense sensation of seeing something extraordinary. It is a small dose of strong emotions that we can savor from the couch at home.
Within what is known as Positive Psychology, one of the best known researchers is Mihály Csíkszentmihályi , who for years has been giving her perspective on a phenomenon called the flow state. This is a state in which maximum concentration is combined with an experience of intense well-being and personal involvement in what we are doing. The flow state can be described as a state similar to the trance state that occurs when the difficulty of what we are doing and the satisfaction of this task are in almost perfect balance.
In most people, the flow state doesn’t happen very often, and yet it’s easier for it to appear in solitude or when it feels like no one is looking , as this allows us to stop worrying about the image we give and our attention can be focused entirely on the task at hand.
3. Singing (in the shower)
A classic. Who hasn’t ever sung in the shower? And yet there doesn’t seem to be any logic behind this behaviour.
Well, actually, there is.
Usually, showers take place in a room where we are alone and we can relax without thinking about what we are doing. In addition, the possibility of adjusting the temperature of the water and massaging the skin makes us relax, which in turn leads us to produce more dopamine, a substance that in many contexts puts us in a good mood and leads us to “liberate” and be more creative. From there, the rest is simply to connect the dots: we are alone, with a constant sound that masks our voice and walls so isolated that all sounds bounce off them; and, moreover, our hands are busy, but our mouths are not.
4. Feeling embarrassed
Although years ago social psychology considered that shame is a phenomenon that appears when we are accompanied, today we know that it can appear with great intensity even when no one is looking. The reason for this is that, when we compare our real actions with our model of “ideal self,” the inconsistencies that we perceive are not experienced in a cold and dispassionate way, but rather automatically produce an emotional imprint .
5. See videos for adults
Currently, more or less 12% of the websites that exist on the Internet are related to pornography . They are visited monthly by some 72 million users, mostly young men, although a third of the visits to these sites are made by women. There is no doubt that with the generalisation of the use of the network of networks this type of content has become an everyday occurrence for many people.
6. Not taking control of the situation
There are situations in which we feel that no one notices our presence despite being accompanied. For example, when a few meters from where we are there is someone who needs help and there are many people who because of their proximity could offer help.
What happens then is known as the spectator effect: as the number of people close to you increases, the chances of someone intervening decrease .