Love life is as intense as it is complicated and often confusing. If getting to know yourself is already complicated, making our way of thinking, behaving and understanding the world fit in with someone else’s psychology is a daunting task. That’s why relationship problems are common.
However, not everything depends on chance, and we can put a lot of effort into making things right when it comes to sharing a life with another person. There are ways to avoid bad luck in love , to make positive potentialities smile in our favour and to make sure that a good part of all the good things that can happen in a relationship ends up happening.
Guidelines to avoid bad luck in love
As we will see, making our love lives flow well is, in large part, taking those relationships with a philosophy of life based on simplicity, honesty and constant communication . How do we put this into practice? Let’s look at it.
1. Long-term thinking
One of the characteristics of couples in which the relationship is in good health is that both members adopt a philosophy according to which the fruits of the relationship appear in the small details of daily life and are more numerous the older the relationship is.
When a couple in love have been together for a long time, the simple fact of having a long history of good and bad times can make the intimacy grow tremendously. It is this intimacy that ultimately makes the relationship unique, because no one knows us as well as the person who has been with us for a long time, both in the crying and the happy times.
2. Managing care well
Any person, no matter how good and well-intentioned, can give us reason to despise them. This is because we often focus our attention on personal characteristics and attributes that we value negatively.
This can also occur in the couple as one of the causes of the lack of love, and that is why it is important that what is accumulating is not the resentment that remains after the discussions.
Many times problems come not because of a lack of good moments , but because of a tendency to obsessively remember the bad in the other person that comes to the surface from time to time. Sometimes it is something spontaneous and cannot be avoided, but other times it is simply a strategy for managing resentment so as not to accept that in certain couple problems it is one’s own fault.
3. Constant communication
It’s crucial to talk. Whether it’s about relevant things or everyday trivialities, the important thing is to create opportunities for conversations to appear and develop. This will make it possible for the relationship not to start being guided by presuppositions and “trial and error” initiatives that, in addition to producing frustration when they fail, show disinterest in the personality and motivations of the other person.
Neither insecurities nor shyness are excuses for not talking, and avoiding bad luck in love also involves fighting those personal battles.
4. Do not create “event lists”
Many people try to bring their relationships to life by obsessively planning romantic and relationship events. Although carried out in a punctual way they are well, these initiatives cannot constitute one of the pillars of the relationship, for several reasons.
The first reason is that create an artificial obligation to always be looking for “peak experiences” or new ones, which causes rejection because of the tiredness and effort required. If that fatigue and stress are associated with the relationship, it is seen as something desirable. Sometimes, we may even believe that it is the other person who is always demanding this kind of whimsy, when in fact it is one who is obsessed with the subject.
The second reason is that setting up such event-filled calendars takes time away from the really desired solo time, so that there is less intimacy and moments to really communicate beyond the “hobbies”.
5. Do not take the relationship as a prison
It is true that all love relationships require a minimum degree of commitment of one kind or another, but that does not mean that these limits are pre-determined and cannot be negotiated. In fact, the opposite is true: each couple must find their own space for commitment , order their priorities, and make all this fit the common objectives and needs of each person.
6. Base the relationship on the image
In love there are times when the mistake is made of living more the fantasy of the public image that the relationship gives than the relationship itself. That takes away from the spontaneity and authenticity of what happens between two lovers.
7. Falling into a rut
Falling into a routine is not so much doing basically the same things every week , as always doing the same thing in the belief that this is what is expected from the relationship or what the other person wants. As always, it’s all about talking about it and making clear the interests and motivations of each person, which can change over time.