Divorce is one of the most painful experiences that a family can suffer, because not only the marriage ends, but also the dreams and hopes placed in that relationship and the unity of the family environment.

That is why divorce is a complex mourning process , which can sometimes be complicated by legal disputes and the battle for custody of children or material goods.

Getting over divorce

If you are experiencing this situation in your own flesh, in the following lines you can find a series of tips that will help you live this stage of your life in a more adaptive way and with less impact on your self-esteem.

1. Accept the divorce

Getting over a divorce is not easy , because when the time comes to leave behind everything we have experienced, many memories hit our mind again and again. Accepting that the situation has reached its end is not easy, but it is necessary.

Acknowledge that you are going through a period of mourning and accept it as the first step towards looking to the future with optimism, as it is common to deny this new reality as a form of protection. The impact of the breakup is so great that it is difficult to assimilate it .

That’s why you have to be honest about how you really feel. Accepting a divorce includes living through the grieving process without running away from it. Understanding that pain is normal at this stage of your life will help you reduce it. Don’t run away from your emotions and what you’re feeling, because in time it is possible to get back to normal.

2. Don’t isolate yourself

Feeling bad is not bad, and crying is very helpful in relieving pain. The same goes for sharing our thoughts with others, and so it is good to express feelings as a form of catharsis.

Having contact with people close to you can help you overcome this difficult stage of your life, while isolating yourself and seeking solitude can make the situation worse. In these difficult times, surround yourself with those who love you.

3. Take advantage of divorce to grow up

Don’t waste the pain of this delicate situation, but use it to motivate yourself to grow, pursue new goals and enjoy new activities. Take this opportunity to focus on yourself, because now you will have more time for it.

Feeling bad can allow you to empower yourself in the face of life if you know how to channel pain and accept your negative emotions . This can lead you into new situations if you are able to take the initiative. Often, even the most adverse situations can be exploited.

4. Participate in pleasant activities

Happiness is not something static but dynamic, and we are the ones who have to go for it with our habits, our actions and our positive attitude. Scientific studies suggest that pleasurable activities such as physical exercise can reduce discomfort and improve our emotional balance, as they help us release neurochemicals related to happiness and pleasure, such as endorphins or serotonin, among others.

Scientific research also suggests that going outdoors and exposing ourselves to the sun (always in a healthy way) increases the production of vitamin D in our body, which is essential for the functioning of the immune system and promotes the production of endorphins, the hormones related to pleasure.

5. Participate in an EQ workshop

Emotionally intelligent people enjoy greater well-being and happiness, according to studies. Fortunately, emotional intelligence is something that can be worked on and acquired. The key components of this practice are: emotional self-knowledge, emotional self-regulation, self-motivation , recognition of others’ emotions and social skills.

There are many workshops that train their participants to become emotionally intelligent people. In the article “The 6 best courses in Emotional Intelligence and Personal Development” you can find the best selection of these workshops.

6. Don’t be obsessed with finding a new partner

Separating from the couple you’ve lived with for so long and being fully happy again can take time, and although sometimes it seems that the best way to not feel alone is to be with someone, this is not the case.

Recovering emotional and psychological well-being requires a process of assimilation and acceptance that we must not avoid, because it will allow us to empower ourselves in the face of change and adapt better to this new context. Finding happiness again is in us and not in others.

7. Go to psychological therapy

Sometimes it can be complex to get over a divorce, especially in cases where there are legal disputes or children involved. In these situations, the help of a professional psychologist is crucial to regain emotional balance.

Divorce can be a highly stressful experience , and experts speak of a “post-divorce trauma” due to the sharpness and high intensity of the emotional reactions the person experiences after the separation.

Feelings of having been hurt, humiliated, psychologically abused or betrayed can lead divorced people into states of anger, depression, anxiety , lack of impulse control, as well as multiple emotional and behavioral difficulties, such as the uncontrolled use of drugs or other drugs such as alcohol.

Divorce also entails the loss of multiple roles in a person’s life, which may require the acquisition of self-knowledge and social/relational skills to cope with this new vital challenge.

Mensalus Institute: experts in divorce therapy

In this context, psychological assistance may be necessary to be able to face this difficult challenge, manage the crisis effectively, stabilize emotionally and accept the reality of separation.

If you identify with the above lines, the Mensalus Institute in Barcelona, one of the most prestigious psychology centres in Spain, can offer you solutions and help you with the difficulties you are currently going through.

This clinic has more than 30 years of experience in psychotherapeutic practice, and in addition to offering face-to-face psychotherapy, it also provides online therapy services. Mensalus is formed by a team of psychologists highly specialized in divorce therapy , so the therapeutic sessions with their professionals can provide you with positive resources to face this process of change and give you the necessary tools to face this stage of your life with great strength and security.

  • If you would like more information about the Mensalus Institute, just click here.