Expressions of affection are one of the most important factors in achieving happiness.Research such as the Grant Study indicates that the presence or absence of warm and loving relationships in our lives is what best predicts whether we will feel happy or not.
However, expressing this affection can be a very complicated task for some people , even more so if this affection is so intense that it can be called love. The mission of knowing how to say I love you is sometimes a task that requires a certain amount of training in order to develop a special sensitivity.
Sometimes the problem is not finding someone to love, but communicating this love, making it stop being theory and move into the realm of practice in the eyes of the other person. It is not just a matter of knowing how to say I love you , it is rather that this message comes through what we do. Saying I love you without saying it directly is one of the healthiest habits to take care of a relationship, since it expresses the way this feeling is part of our natural way of acting, instead of being a simple phrase that is repeated.
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How to say I love you with acts
In love, practice always wins out over theory, and hearing the phrase “I love you” does not necessarily mean that we feel more loved or wanted. This is a good thing and a bad thing.
This is a good thing, because it allows us to diversify our way of expressing our affection without sticking to a rigid and predictable script. But it’s also a bad thing because that makes it not always easy to get this message across. The latter causes some people to give up their efforts to show their affection, unknowingly making the relationship tend to get cold.
Developing this ability to say I love you without words can be a bit cumbersome at first, but its positive effects are usually noticed from the very first moment , so it is highly recommended to train in it.
Below you can read 7 ideas that can help you in doing so.
Learn to value what you put effort into
Some of the tasks or hobbies that your loved one does may have gone unnoticed by you because they are discreet or routine. However, it is quite possible that several of them are truly important to the other person, projects in which he or she sees himself or herself reflected and which make him or her proud.
With this in mind, we can identify these tasks and take an interest in the progress the other person is making on them , while recognising their results. Even though these tasks or hobbies do not interest us in themselves, they can be attractive to us because they are one of the aspects of the personality of the person we love.
2. Surprises are always good
One of the keys to knowing how to say I love you is in getting ahead of the other person in what might interest him/her . Surprising her with symbolic gifts, special walks or creative pieces that she might like or find funny shows that she thinks beyond the framework of routine and that we are able to move just to make the other person smile.
Somehow, these small changes in routine make it easier for the other person to come to understand that you are thinking about their well-being beyond what can technically be called “the day-to-day running of a relationship.
3. The need to know how to listen
To take time to listen to the reflections, concerns or motivations of the other is to show that you care about this person himself. That is why the art of knowing how to be silent and supportive with active listening is essential, because it indicates that it is not a great sacrifice for us to give the other person a leading role in our lives for a while.
Letting the other person express their feelings and views freely and showing them that these moments are valuable to us is a great way to say “I love you” without words.However, we must keep in mind that all excess is bad, and we must not let this support role become an absolute lack of proactivity.
4. Learning to leave a space
Expressing that the other person is in charge of his own life is essential for him to know that we love him . If we make it clear without half measures that it is she who has the last word on matters that affect her in the first place, she will know that we do not seek her company simply to be able to direct her life, and that we love her as a human being with her own objectives and her own autonomy to decide.
5. Physical contact
Nothing says I love you like a hug and a sincere smile . The same can be said of all those forms of expression of affection in which the two people come into direct contact. This, accompanied by a sustained gaze towards the eyes, causes more oxytocin, the hormone of love, to be secreted.
Thus, one of the most effective ways of expressing love is precisely in the most spontaneous, that for which nothing like an instruction manual is needed: caresses, kisses, etc.
6. Introduce humor into the relationship
If the other person sees that we are trying hard to make him/her smile (even if it is just by doing monkey business) he/she will know that his/her well-being is important to us . If, in addition, it is something we are not used to doing with other people, the message is reinforced. The complicity that is created in these moments not only serves to strengthen emotional ties; it also shows that we think about the well-being of the other person.
7. Looking for time alone
Intimacy is an essential factor in relationships, and not only in those of a partner . Lovers, friends and family can enjoy reserving a moment and a space to chat or do any activity together, away from any distractions. To be skilled in the art of saying I love you, it is necessary to make it clear to the other person that they deserve our full attention on a regular basis.
That’s why it’s good to show that these intimate moments have value, that they’re not a waste of time or a bore.