Depression is an illness that affects 5% of the Spanish population , according to studies carried out this year. Therefore, most people know, or even live with, someone who suffers from depression to a greater or lesser degree.

In view of these statistics and the difficulties that this condition entails, it is useful to know how we can accompany these people, making their day-to-day life a little easier. Therefore, in this article we will review several tips to help a person with depression .

How does a person with depression feel?

First of all it is necessary to clarify that, despite talking about depression in general terms, it can present itself in different ways and to many degrees depending on the person. However, there are a number of common feelings or thoughts that tend to prevail in all people affected by depression.

Likewise, in order to help a depressed person, or at least make things easier for him/her while in the process of recovery, it is necessary to first know how he/she feels and what he/she thinks . Knowing which are those feelings and beliefs that flood the mind of a person with depression will make it easier for family and friends to accompany him/her.

Some of the thoughts and feelings of a person with depression are as follows.

1. Self-devaluation, despair, and grief

The depressive mood is characterized by feelings of hopelessness and guilt , feelings that cause great distress in the person who experiences them.

Usually, the depressed person thinks that there is nothing that can be done to improve or fix their situation, and also experiences a great disregard or contempt for themselves.

Since the person is perfectly aware of both his suffering and the anguish this causes to the people around him, feelings of guilt for causing a suffering in others are also very common.

All these reflections end up causing the person to have an anxious symptomatology that is externalized by palpitations, tremors, a sensation of asphyxiation and a very incapacitating general malaise.

2. Need for social isolation

Because of the above thoughts and beliefs, it is common for the person suffering from depression to end up rejecting a large part of his or her social life and relationships . This need for solitude or isolation may end up degenerating into almost total incommunication and personal abandonment.

At the same time, this isolation exacerbates feelings of hopelessness and disdain and becomes a vicious circle for the person.

3. Feeling of lack of energy

The lack of strength or energy to carry out any type of activity, however simple or elementary it may be, is one of the main symptoms or complaints referred to by the person.

4. Fluctuations and changes in symptoms

It is common for people suffering from depression to experience a series of fluctuations in their mood throughout the day . Just as the intensity of the symptoms does not have to be stable during the development of the illness.

Most patients report that their symptoms are milder in the afternoon and that the discomfort is almost always accentuated in the morning. These cyclical swings generate a great deal of anxiety in the person, who anticipates and tries to predict when he or she will feel bad.

Tips to help the person with depression

Although the above points are only a small part of the wide range of symptoms, feelings and thoughts that can circulate in the mind of a person with depression, knowing them can be very helpful when trying to help and accompany them during recovery .

It is necessary to point out that this does not constitute a therapy and that for a person with depression to manage to overcome it, psychological intervention by a professional is necessary. Below are a number of suggestions to help anyone suffering from this type of affliction.

1. Suggest professional help

As mentioned above, no matter how good the intentions of someone who wants to help a depressed person, companionship and non-professional advice cannot cure a person with depression by itself.

The first thing to bear in mind is that depression is an illness that can become very serious , and therefore therapeutic intervention by a professional is necessary.

In this case, one thing you can do is persuade the person and convince them to seek help or psychological assistance. Although this task will not be easy, it is extremely necessary. Through calm conversations and with much tact and subtlety , the family should insist on visiting a professional and, if necessary, offer to accompany him/her.

2. Avoiding advice about life

Although the willingness to help is always positive, suggestions to encourage the person through advice to feel better, to reflect on what they have, or through continuous invitations to go out and do activities are absolutely ineffective, even becoming counterproductive and causing more discomfort in the person .

3. Stand by her

Having said that, what a person with depression really needs is that the people around him or her show empathy , that they show understanding and that they can be there for them when they need it.

4. Reinforce your strengths

Due to decreased self-esteem and underestimation, the depressed person tends to reject and not admit the advances he or she makes during the treatment process. These people tend to highlight their deficiencies or shortcomings and ignore their potential and successes.

To help you, it is vital that your closest circles are able to emphasize those skills, abilities or successes that the person possesses.

5. Respect their silence

It makes no sense to force or coerce a person with depression to speak or convey what he or she is feeling, as well as to be sociable, since is not something that is under his or her control . This type of approach often causes more tension and feelings of incomprehension in the person.

6. Convey hope

The feelings of hopelessness associated with depression lock the person into a tunnel from which they are unable to see the way out. Therefore, it is advisable that the relatives or people around him/her transmit, by means of a coherent discourse and without being exaggeratedly optimistic , that despite the fact that now he/she is not able to see it, there is a way out.

You need to convince him that depression is an illness with treatment and cure and that if he follows the guidelines of the intervention he will get better.

7. Do not ask for explanations

On many occasions, and with the intention of trying to understand what is happening to them in order to help, the person is pressured to try to tell what is causing this suffering. However, depression is not a single-cause illness, and most of the time not even the person knows what has led to it.

Therefore, asking for rational explanations when the person is not in a rational situation does not make any sense, and will only trigger feelings of frustration and irritation .

8. Taking care of one’s emotional health

Finally, it is necessary that whoever accompanies the depressed person through his or her recovery be able to avoid the possible psychological effects this may cause.

Depressive moods can become contagious if the person is not aware of it. Seeing someone you love suffer can trigger great emotional distress so the person should be protected from this possible risk.