We all want to be that kind of person who conquers the hearts of others with a simple smile , who makes friends with little effort and who receives daily a lot of praise and compliments.

However, this natural gift for connecting with others is enjoyed by a privileged few who, for some reason, manage to have that special aura. The rest of us mortals may not have been born with that natural charisma, but with will and a little effort we can come to connect emotionally with anyone we want to meet.

Learn more: “25 questions to get to know someone better”

Connecting emotionally with others: how do you do it?

Many scholars and ordinary people have tried to explain why some people are more likely to connect emotionally with others, thus being better able to choose their romantic partners and even their friends. What are the qualities that make it nice to be around someone? In today’s article we will try to describe these virtues.

When we think of people who know how to relate successfully to other individuals, we usually notice that they are able to influence the thoughts and attitudes of those around them, are able to inspire them and bring out their best. And although it may seem a lie, all these people share a set of values, beliefs and habits .

Extra reading: “The 3 keys of persuasion: how to convince others?”

9 values, beliefs and habits that will help you connect with people

The way of life of people who know how to relate effectively has some things in common that can serve as a guide to begin to evolve and improve in this aspect.

Shall we start?

1. A smile always helps

When we are in a social context, the truth is that few things say more in your favour than showing yourself relaxed and smiling . When we see someone smiling in an authentic way, it is very likely that we are attracted to him or her, whether it is for a friendship or to share an entertaining chat. Smiling at someone is also a great test of confidence.

In addition, smiles spread and make people around feel more comfortable . If you want to engage in a spontaneous conversation with someone, it is best to start with a good smile. Then you will decide where you want to take the interaction; if you just want a friendship or if you see that there might be something else.

2. Don’t be afraid to make friends

In the end, this is essential. If you want to connect emotionally with other people, you must be able to open up to others and build positive and healthy relationships . When you go to talk to someone, ask yourself the question: “How would I like to be treated by someone I don’t know”, and you will surely see that you must be both respectful and genuine when you want to start a conversation with someone who may be your friend in the future.

It is important that you know how to value friendship and be careful and attentive to your friends. Practice active listening with them, and try to give them a hand if possible.

More information: “10 keys to overcoming shyness once and for all”

Look at strangers as friends

If you enter a waiting room or the subway, try to look at the faces of strangers and think of them as friendly faces . This will help you to be open-minded and proactive, and to overcome the usual shyness or reticence.

If you are in tune with the people around you, it will be much easier to connect emotionally with those who attract your attention.

4. Essential: to be authentic

There is no point in wearing a mask to connect with someone, because sooner or later the mask will fall off and you will be portrayed. You should try to connect genuinely with other people, from your true self . That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to be more sociable and open-minded, obviously!

Being authentic will bring you closer to meeting people with whom you can really connect, and build friendships or relationships based on sincerity.

5. Try to help

Don’t forget that the key to meeting people is to bring something positive into their lives . It doesn’t have to be something material, but something that can help them in one way or another. Normally, in our society we are very lacking in authentic friendships, in people in our lives who help us if we are going through a bad time or have some difficulty.

There are always ways to help others, and it is a good idea to be a person with this human quality . Generosity is good in itself, but it also has its rewards: it will be easier for you to connect with people who value your effort.

6. Take a genuine interest in others

The best way to be interesting is to show interest and attention to your interlocutor . I’m sure you have a lot to learn from other people. If you manage to open a window into their world, your interlocutors will see that you are a person with an open mind and with whom it is worthwhile to talk and share time.

We all have stories we want to share, and if someone listens to us… it’s easier for us to connect emotionally with them.

7. Talk, don’t cut yourself

Be open and don’t hesitate to start conversations with people around you , and even with strangers. Having this attitude will allow you to improve your social skills and you will learn to connect with the passions and interests of others.

8. Know yourself and pursue your illusions

It is important that you know what your interests, your virtues and your goals in life are . Because knowing yourself will allow you to guide yourself and know how you can connect with and help other people. If you find someone who shares your hobbies, chances are you’ll both be crazy about wanting to continue to spend time together.

9. Be Yourself

Yes, that’s very typical advice. But it’s still as true as a temple. Trying to be someone else to please others is a big mistake. Show yourself as you are, even if you have defects or vulnerabilities . No one is perfect, remind yourself of that often.

Try sharing your anecdotes and concerns, you are sure to find people who will appreciate it.