Have you ever heard of extreme fear of being alone? If we consider the society we live in, where so little work has been done on self-acceptance, it is not such a rare disorder.

In this article we will reflect on the concept of loneliness and its implications, and furthermore, we will see what autophobia consists of , what some of its symptoms are, its possible causes and treatments.

Autophobia: a specific phobia

The word autophobia comes from the Greek word “auto” (which means “by itself”), and from the word “phobia” (which means “fear”). Thus, self-phobia literally means “fear of oneself”.

However, in psychology this term does not mean exactly this, but rather a fear of the possibility of being alone with oneself (physically speaking) . Specifically, autophobia is a rare phobia, which consists of an intense, irrational and disproportionate fear of being alone physically. Other names for autophobia are: monophobia or isophobia.

This irrational fear is mainly due to an intense fear of being ignored, of feeling unloved or of suffering some kind of threat from an intruder. Ultimately, people with autophobia are afraid to be left alone.

Like all specific phobias, where the stimulus is the fact of being physically alone, it is an anxiety disorder . The symptoms that autophobia produces are of a diverse nature: psychological, physical and emotional.

Beyond Feeling Lonely

We have all felt alone at some time in our lives, either because we are really alone physically at a given time, or because we feel unloved or have no one to turn to (i.e. a loneliness that is more emotional than physical).

However, self-phobia goes beyond this simple fact, as the person comes to feel real anxiety about the possibility or the actual fact of being physically alone. In other words, they panic about loneliness. Thus, the symptoms appear when the individual is physically alone or when he believes that such a situation may soon occur .

In short, it is not the same to feel alone (which is a common symptom in many people, and does not imply a major pathology) as to suffer from autophobia, a real, specific and disabling phobia. Its intensity is much greater.

Low tolerance for loneliness

It is curious how the society in which we live “sells” us the idea that we should be autonomous, empowered, stand on our own two feet, etc., and yet the same culture shows increasing difficulties in confronting loneliness.

We see this in couples who cannot live without each other, in highly toxic dependency relationships , etc. We have been led to believe, especially at the couple level, that we need someone to “complete” us, when in fact we don’t need anyone, but simply have the option to enjoy life with someone who complements us.

All of this ends up generating in the person a feeling of anguish in the face of loneliness, of the constant need to search for the other, to “connect” with others through the networks, the telephone… It is as if we are afraid to endure ourselves. This, taken to the extreme and added to other factors, can trigger a disorder like autophobia.

Symptoms

Now that we have briefly learned about the concept of autophobia, let’s look at its most common symptoms. Thus, autophobia involves a series of symptoms at the physical, psychological and emotional levels, such as the following.

1. Insecurity

One of the typical symptoms of autophobia is great personal insecurity. This insecurity translates into difficulties to (or impossibility of) being alone with oneself .

Often, in this type of patient, low self-esteem and the constant need for approval from others are also associated. There can also be (and often is) a great emotional dependence. The person “cannot” do things alone, by himself/herself and without the help or approval of others.

2. Irrational ideas

Associated with autophobia, irrational ideas or thoughts of “I’m going to die” or “I’m going to get hurt” can also occur when a person is alone. Thus, this person may even fear for his life, in extreme cases .

3. High anxiety or fear

Anxiety, in fact, is the main symptom of self-phobia, which is triggered by the possibility or fact of being physically alone and leads to a situation of loss of control over the body.

4. Physical symptoms

Physical symptoms, as in any specific phobia, also appear. They can vary greatly from person to person, but generally include palpitations, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, excessive sweating, hypertension, tachycardia … In a way, the person somatizes that intense fear, and this translates through the body.

Causes

The causes of autophobia, as in any specific phobia, can be very varied, and in some ways, are unknown. However, we can hypothesize some; mainly, in its origin we find a traumatic event related to loneliness; for example, the fact of having suffered an abusive situation, of not being able to get help, of having been robbed or mugged, etc. That is, the fact of having lived a negative and traumatic situation while alone. Furthermore, if these negative experiences have been lived in childhood, the psychological repercussions may be even greater .

On the other hand, and in a way, the self-phobia may also have been “learned”, through observing other people with self-phobia, or hearing about people who have suffered a traumatic or violent situation on the news while alone, etc. Furthermore, there may also be a certain biological predisposition (vulnerability) to suffer from an anxiety disorder , which, together with other factors, may lead to this specific phobia.

Moreover, it is a somewhat particular phobia, since in a certain way, the feared stimulus “is oneself” (even though one does not fear one’s own person, but the absence of others). That is, one fears what may happen when alone, and one fears one’s own loneliness. It is paradoxical.

Treatment

The treatment par excellence of specific phobias is the treatment by exposure. In the case of autophobia, the patient would be exposed to remain alone in certain spaces (for example, his home), and this time of solitude would be increased, through a hierarchy of items.

On the other hand, the patient’s self-esteem and emotional dependence should also be worked on through exercises that empower them and highlight their strengths and capacities. Irrational and negative thoughts should also be addressed, so that they can be replaced by more optimistic, realistic and adaptive thoughts.

The aim of all these techniques is that the patient “understands” and proves for himself that nothing bad happens because he is alone (through exposure and cognitive therapy), and that he can even have very positive experiences being alone. Moreover, loneliness is also a source of wealth and learning, and opens the door to new ways of tolerating oneself, knowing oneself and loving oneself.

To the root of the problem

It is also important to emphasize that it will be of vital importance to analyze each specific case, and this implies studying in depth the cause (or causes) that have originated the autophobia , in order to work on them.

That is, treat the experience and trauma of the traumatic event (with the relevant psychological techniques) if this has been the cause of the phobia, dysfunctional thoughts, dependent personality, poor self-esteem, etc.

Bibliographic references:

  • American Psychiatric Association (APA) (2014). DSM-5. Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. Madrid: Panamericana.
  • Horse (2002). Manual for the cognitive-behavioral treatment of psychological disorders. Vol. 1 and 2. Madrid. Siglo XXI.
  • López, A. (2005). Specific phobias. Faculty of Psychology. Departament de Personalitat, Avaluació i Tractament Psicològics.