People are social animals, which means that we are beings that need interaction with others, to such an extent that throughout our evolution as a species we have developed a system of societies that allows us to enjoy the feeling that we belong to something much bigger than ourselves.

From this point of view, it would be logical to think that all people manage to develop the same socialization skills, but this is not reality at all. Due to different influencing factors some people don’t manage to develop these skills completely, so throughout this article we’ll see some tips on how to better socialize .

What does it mean to socialize?

The act of socializing, also known as socialization, is a process through which practically all people go through and which consists of the cognitive assimilation of all the elements, principles and sociocultural foundations of their environment to then integrate them into the structure of their personality, all of them mediated by the influence of their life experiences and social agents.

This process is carried out thanks to the action of social agents, which are constituted by the family environment, the school, the peers and even the media and institutions.

Within all these agents, the family is considered an essential part of the socialization process as it is our first contact with people different from ourselves and serves as a guide for our first contacts with the outside world.

In second place is the school, within this context we learn the guidelines to follow for interaction with our peers, as well as a first deal with authority figures different from parents or guardians.

Why aren’t all people equally capable?

There are big differences between people when it comes to developing the skills that allow us to socialize with others. While some exhibit great capacities to relate and generate friendships in a very simple way, others make a great effort.

These difficulties in meeting people and making friends can lead to great feelings of frustration and distress, as the person feels the need and wants to interact with others but their lack of knowledge or skills make it impossible.

The skills that allow us to interact with others and establish positive personal and friendship ties are known as social skills . This concept encompasses all those behaviours and actions carried out by the person within an interpersonal context.

Basically, it consists of the expression of emotions, feelings, desires and opinions in an effective and appropriate manner according to the situation in which the person finds him/herself. In addition, it is also characterized by the ability to respect others and to solve problems effectively by minimizing consequences and future complications.

The reason why some people do not possess these skills is that they have not had the opportunity to learn and put them into practice , either because of inadequate or not very direct learning models, or because of the interference of negative thoughts or insecurities due to negative life experiences.

7 tips for better socializing

However, like all other skills, these are susceptible to being learned and practiced. Although this may become a little more complicated over time, it is never too late to change or improve habits and socialization patterns.

We will now review a series of suggestions that will not make it easy to interact with other people and will help us to feel more comfortable.

1. Start slowly

Because of the tension that can be generated by initiating a conversation or contact with another person, it is worthwhile to start slowly. Choose places that are not overcrowded, that allow a quiet conversation with one or two people.

Choosing everyday contexts in which people speak naturally or regularly such as supermarket queues and initiating a small casual interaction will allow us to practice and lose the fear of initiating conversations .

In the same way, it is advisable to start with small comments, which can give way to a conversation but without resulting in expressions or sentences that are too deep or too far-reaching. Circumstantial comments that show points in common with the other person are usually very effective in creating a bond.

2. Smile

Of course we do not mean forced or constant smiles, as these can convey a sense of strangeness or distrust to other people. Smiling when someone approaches, when funny comments are made and maintaining a relaxed and casual facial gesture will help us to feel close to people and to make them feel comfortable with us .

3. Maintain proper eye contact

Looking at people while they are talking is a sign that you are listening and facilitates bonding with others. Otherwise it will seem that we are not interested in what counts at all and this can create a barrier between the two.

In the same way, if we are also speaking it is advisable to maintain visual contact with our interlocutor or interlocutors , as this transmits security and also facilitates the creation of personal or friendship ties.

4. Listen

Socializing with involves not only talking to other people, but also caring for them and actively listening to what they are not saying. Active listening will allow us to gather enough information from the other person to be able to formulate the right questions and comments, which will allow us to continue the conversation effectively and to convey interest in the other person.

5. Observe

Observing the people around us or with whom we have a conversation can give us a lot of information about them, such as how they feel about talking about a topic. This information will allow us to connect with them and facilitate the start and progress of the conversation.

6. Keeping informed

Knowing what is happening around us, what the latest news and events are will provide us with a wide range of topics with which to start conversations and be able to intervene effectively in the debates that may arise throughout the social meetings.

7. Do not judge

If when you arrive at a meeting space the first thing you do is make value judgments you will create a barrier between you and the rest of the people, since you will eliminate the possibility of knowing them and knowing how they really are, especially if these judgments are negative.

In the same way, making negative criticisms or value judgements in front of people you have just met often conveys a very bad image so you will only succeed in driving these people away from you.