One of the questions that philosophy has most insistently tried to answer is this: what is the point at which one must stop fighting to change something and start accepting what is happening?

In this article we’ll see what the differences are between acceptance and resignation , two related concepts that, if we know how to distinguish between them, help us take control of our lives without obsessing about impossible goals.

Differences between resignation and acceptance

The relationship between acceptance and resignation can be seen as that between the two sides of the same coin.

If we stop to think about what they have in common, we will immediately notice that refers to stopping trying something . However, each of these words has very different implications for our personal development.

In fact, maturing psychologically means, among other things, understanding what the differences are between acceptance and resignation, since we do not have to be content with what can be improved, but neither can we feel obliged to change what is beyond our control. Therefore, let’s see what it is that allows us to distinguish between the two .

1. Acceptance helps us to recover

Those events that harm us and are beyond our control wear us out psychologically much less if we interpret them through acceptance, not resignation.

Even if two people are the target of the same catastrophic event , such as a hurricane that destroys their house, the one who experiences it from acceptance will be prepared much sooner to continue with his life. The reason is that she will feel less tied to the way of thinking she had before the accident, which will save her a lot of added frustration.

2. Resignation feeds passivity

Resigning oneself to something means that we are more inclined to take for granted impossible improvements that, in reality, do not have to be.

Although it seems paradoxical, sometimes we look for any excuse not to admit that if we made an effort we could improve the reality around us, and resignation is an excuse to make that passivity go through a tragic outcome that gives meaning to what we are living.

3. Resignation does not let us learn from mistakes

Whoever experiences a negative event from resignation, limits himself to focus his attention on the bad. On the other hand, when that unwanted situation has appeared partly because of us, acceptance implies accepting that fact too and considering doing better in the future.

That is, acceptance allows us to draw valuable conclusions from our mistakes , which in turn brings relief because it is a way of making sense of the discomfort we feel in those circumstances.

4. Acceptance helps us see things in perspective

A person who embraces the inevitable through acceptance notices how the emotional pain he or she experiences is cushioned, not so much as a discomfort. The reason is that he lives that moment adopting a distant perspective , as if we see everything moving away from our body.

This shift of attention to the overall situation, and not just to the bad, is very useful as an ingredient for resilience, i.e. overcoming crises.

On the other hand, if that which causes us pain is partly our fault, the acceptance of that discomfort also implies that we recognize its existence in an objective way ; that is to say, as a factor that helps us so that this situation does not repeat itself. In other words, it shows us that even in those low hours the discomfort has served to win a lesson.

5. Resignation promotes defenselessness

While acceptance promotes a way of perceiving what is happening in which suffering is not the most important thing, resignation makes us feel unmotivated and under-energized, leaving us more exposed to other possible risks .

Conclusion

Much of what we experience is more related to the way we interpret it than to the objective fact itself. Therefore, knowing the difference between acceptance and resignation allows us to go through bad times in the best possible way, laying the foundations for our recovery through a process of resilience .

Whether it is a process of mourning the death of a loved one, lowering of work expectations, health problems or something similar, making acceptance our way of life is fundamental in order not to let the typical difficulties of life hurt us too much and restrict our freedom.

Bibliographic references:

  • Graver, M. (2009). Stoicism and Emotion. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
  • William Braxton, I. (2009). A guide to the good life: the ancient art of Stoic joy. Oxford University Press