Crying. We have all cried at some time, both in childhood and in adulthood. Something happens that causes a certain internal tension to arise, our eyes get wet, they fill with tears and finally we break down to cry.

And although for many this is uncomfortable and often hidden at the social level, the truth is that this is an act that is very healthy and useful for our well-being. Now, why do we cry? What can make us want to cry? Why do we sometimes cry for no reason? Let’s look at it throughout this article.

Crying and wanting to cry: what’s wrong?

Crying is a complex process, which is part of a physiological mechanism that we have innate, and that although it is often considered unique to human beings is also shared with other animals. However, the fact of crying due to emotional causes is more complex than it seems , since throughout our lives we learn to cry as a mechanism to release emotional tension: crying from grief, joy or anger are examples.

Although tears sometimes come out of nowhere, as a rule when we are dealing with a cry that comes out of emotion the person has previously noticed a sensation generally described as choking or occlusion in the chest or esophagus, as well as difficulty breathing (there may also be sobbing). In other words, it is not uncommon to notice that we feel like crying.

In this process the brain plays a fundamental role, which begins to gestate at an attentional level. At this time the brain stem, cerebellum and various cranial pairs (III, IV, V and VII) are activated. Later, the ascending reticular formation (which controls the brain activation) is activated to a great extent, something that corresponds to the increase in tension and energy felt just before breaking into tears. This is followed by activation of the amygdala, hypothalamus, insula, cingulate and prefrontal, so that the emotion and cognition behind the discomfort are added to the energy.

Functions of crying

As annoying and painful as it may be, crying has an important role in our psyche, and it is one that is beneficial to us : different investigations reflect that in a great number of cases crying leads us to relieve our emotional state, by allowing us to express our emotions and to pour out the energy that states of tension and deep sadness entail. They serve to reduce the increase in the level of energy generated by intense emotions such as sadness or anger, so that the body relaxes and returns to a calmer and more peaceful state.

Tears, when emotional, have a composition that also favors emotional release. Specifically, they help to eliminate manganese, prolactin and potassium chloride, as well as endorphins and analgesic substances. Substances that can be stressful are thus expelled, while others are released to help combat pain and suffering.

In addition, it has a function related to socialization: although not always, crying usually provokes empathy on the part of the group, so that the person crying often receives support and assistance when perceived as needy or vulnerable. It also tends to reduce the aggressiveness and hostility of others, as well as decrease the sexual desire for them.

Other types of tears, such as basal tears, serve simply to clean and lubricate the eye . Something necessary and natural. They also clean the eye of irritants and even some bacteria.

Some of the main reasons why we cry

For better or worse, we know there are many reasons that can make us want to cry. Among them we can find both emotional and physical elements.

Next we will see some of the reasons, fundamentally those of psychic origin.

1. Traumatic events and/or stressful life events

One of the main reasons why we feel like crying, and probably the best known of all, is due to the fact that we have suffered some kind of traumatic or painful event .

The death of a family member or loved one, a sentimental break-up, a layoff, bankruptcy or even a minor problem but which can also cause us suffering on an emotional level such as an argument or failure to achieve a much-loved goal or objective.

2. Physical pain

We often also cry when we suffer some kind of injury, blow, break, sprain… . Because physical pain is one of the causes that can make us cry.

However, tears of this type often follow a different process and even their chemical composition is different.

3. Depression

Another possible cause that can make us want to cry, even without knowing at a conscious level exactly why, is the existence of a depressive episode (whether in major depression, bipolar disorder or other circumstances).

In this case, a sad mood is maintained and there is a perceived inability to feel pleasure, sleeping or eating problems, hopelessness or even despair. In this state it is not uncommon to cry, although it is also possible that despite the desire to cry the subject may not be able to do so.

4. Anxiety and stress

Anxiety and stress are other factors that can bring us to the brink of tears. In this case, we find ourselves in a situation where we feel overwhelmed by environmental or social demands.

We believe that we do not have enough resources to deal with what is being asked of us or what is happening to us, and we are overcome by anguish. Our energetic and emotional tone rises, and our body may resort to tears for relief.

5. Rage and/or sense of injustice

Just like anxiety and stress, anger can also be a reason for the desire to cry .

After all, more than one person will have cried in anger. The cause is the same as the one we observed in the previous point: we may find ourselves in a situation that we consider unfair and before which we are not able to do anything.

6. Empathy

In addition to the above, it is necessary to emphasize that another reason why we may feel like crying is the identification of suffering and pain in other people . It is possible that we feel like crying when we see another person crying or having a bad time. This is influenced by the so-called mirror neurons, which allow us to capture the emotional reactions of others and even to reproduce them.

This situation does not only occur when we observe another person suffering, but it can also appear when we see situations that we would consider sad if we lived, or when we see them in movies or novels.

7. Capturing beauty

Although it may not be as usual as the previous ones, some people may cry with emotion when they see certain works of art, be they novels, paintings, sculptures, constructions or films .

In this case the reason for the tears is the emotion derived from the capture of something that we consider beautiful, even if it does not generate sadness per se. This is what happens to people who suffer from Stendhal syndrome.

Why are we crying for joy?

So far, we have talked about why the desire to cry can appear and we have seen that most of us do it as an emotional release or in response to some aversive or painful event.

However, as many of you have probably already wondered, sometimes we also feel like crying when positive things happen: sometimes we cry for joy . Why does this happen?

Finding the answer to this question is more complicated than it seems, but some research suggests that the reason may be that the body itself tries to regulate itself after being activated by joy or other positive emotions: it tries to return to a base state through a reaction that reduces the energy rush that the emotion causes. It is therefore, just like when we cry out in anger, a way of regaining balance on an emotional and energetic level .

I feel like crying… but I can’t

It may be that some people feel like crying or even want to cry but are unable to do so. There are many possible causes for this, ranging from brain injuries and diseases of different types (e.g. some autoimmune) to a much more common one: the existence of an emotional blockage.

First of all, we must bear in mind that there is no hurry: each person processes things at their own pace, and the fact that tears do not come when they theoretically should must be respected.

The emotional block

On the other hand, if the impossibility of crying is absolute and remains in time, it is possible that the causes are before an emotional blockage. The emotional blockades are produced before events or situations that generate great anxiety and suffering, and that appear in an unconscious way as a defense mechanism to protect oneself from such pain.

However, this blockage prevents or makes it difficult to work and process what has happened. These blockages can occur in a normative way, but also in processes such as depressions or post-traumatic stress disorders.

The advisable thing to do in these cases is to first give yourself some time (some situations need time to start accepting themselves as real, as happens in cases of grief), and then if the person wants to do so try to work little by little on aspects related to the cause of the blockage. If necessary, first tangentially, to gradually approach the event itself and try to revive and reprocess the situation so that it can be processed.

The weight of culture

Likewise and especially in the case of men, crying has traditionally been seen as a sign of weakness, something shameful . This makes it difficult to express the crying in public. But it should be taken into account that crying in public in fact implies recognizing the existence of a moment of vulnerability, something that on the other hand may also imply a certain value.

Bibliographic references:

  • Miceli, M., & Castelfranchi, C. (2003). Crying: discussing its basic reasons and uses. New Ideas in Psychology, 21(3).

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  • On the origin of crying and tears. Human Ethology Newsletter. 1989 June; 5(10):5-6.
  • Triglia, Adrián; Regader, Bertrand; García-Allen, Jonathan (2016). Psychologically speaking. Paidós.
  • Vidales, Ismael (2004). General psychology. Mexico: Limusa.