It has been a long time since our conception of what intelligence is limited to a good development of classic cognitive abilities. Today we also talk about emotional intelligence , one of those human facets that, although often ignored and difficult to objectify, affects us in all areas of life.

What is EQ?

As we saw in the article on emotional intelligence, this can be defined as our ability to manage our emotions in an adaptive way both when making decisions and when we need to relate to others or regulate our emotional states. However, as this type of intelligence is difficult to measure and it is difficult to isolate the results of good emotional intelligence , this type of skill is often overlooked , considering that all people are more or less capable of managing their emotions equally or that, on the contrary, these skills are encoded in the genes and cannot be modified with experience.

However, emotional intelligence is something that can be improved over time, since it is one of the many faces of learning and human potential, and that is precisely why there are also differences between people who manage their effectiveness well and others who have not yet learned all they could. It is even possible that some have been learning to improve their emotional intelligence without knowing it!

To situate yourself and know where you are in the development of emotional intelligence, here is a brief list of the characteristics of emotionally intelligent people . In turn, these points can be used to set objectives when training in the management of emotions.

10 characteristics of emotionally intelligent people

1. They do not pursue only short-term rewards

These kinds of goals or “reinforcements” are the foundation on which addictions and procrastination, among other things, are based. Emotionally intelligent people are capable of not letting themselves be governed by the immediate proximity of a reward that is not beneficial in the long term.

2. are able to recognize their own emotions

It is also relatively easy to relate these emotions to their origin or origins, that is, the main factors that have made an emotional state appear , whether positive or negative.

3.They know the importance of inner discourse

They do not limit themselves to interpreting their experiences automatically, as they are presented to them, but they put effort into building a useful interpretation of these experiences that helps them to direct their objectives towards a useful goal and maintain an emotional state that does not play against them.

4.Show good empathic abilities

They are able to connect affectively with other people quickly and with little information. This makes them more likely to establish a constructive dialogue.

5.They know how to exteriorize their emotions

Both in a real time dialogue and in a written form (regardless of the literary quality of the latter!). They can therefore express their emotional state in any of the possible languages.

6.Guide their actions and thoughts

Towards the management of their emotions. They know the importance of thoughts towards proper mental and spiritual health, and manage this point in their favour.

7.Tend towards positive attitudes

However, they don’t let themselves be dragged into them either, and implicitly know that there is no bad emotional state per se.

8.The values that govern their lives are both positive and negative

Positive values so as not to fall into constant and unproductive criticism, and negative values so as not to deny reality and recognize problems when they exist . Their actions are based on the dialectic of these two types of values.

9.They are motivated and know how to motivate others

They recognize the importance of tasks with meaning for people. They value the need for intrinsic motivation . And, more importantly: they are able to keep their colleagues motivated. They have the soul of a leader.

10.Consider the human being an emotional being, not an automaton

They are aware of the importance of affective states in all areas that have traditionally been thought to be purely rational. They know that emotions shape decision making, memory retrieval, memorization, etc.

In conclusion…

So much for the characteristics of people with good emotional intelligence. Remember that, as with all learning, no one ever fits this description perfectly (among other things, because it can be interpreted in various ways) and that all training takes time and some effort.