Personal relationships are not always easy to manage, but what is clear is that through them a part of our personality and way of being is expressed and built. Emotionally distant people are among those who stand out the most when interacting with others, given that their way of approaching human relationships usually stands out from the first minutes of conversation or non-verbal communication in general.

In this article we will see above what are the characteristics of emotionally distant people, what is the logic behind their style of behavior, and what this means when it comes to assessing how they perceive the rest of the people around them.

Characteristics of emotionally distant people

The first thing that must be clear in order to understand this style of personality is that being emotionally distant does not imply hating humanity, nor being incapable, in any situation and context, of enjoying the company or even intimacy with someone.

Practically all the differential traits and characteristics that we human beings present in our individuality exist not in hermetic categories and with very clear limits, but through a continuum of variations in the intensity of variables present in all people. This means that all emotionally distant people have a part of social and openness with others, and those who do not stand out for their distance from the rest, also have a part of emotional distance .

So it is not correct to take definitions dogmatically and assume that someone who has become a person who excels in a certain characteristic will live anchored to that trait for life, without being able to make that trait go away.

That said, and assuming that each case is unique and each person has unique qualities, let’s see what they are and how they are expressed.

1. tend to mistrust

The fact that emotionally distant people distrust each other relatively easily does not mean that they are hostile. On the contrary, they are most often correct in their dealings with others, not least because antagonisms cause contact with others to be maintained, to the extent that they create confrontations and a desire for revenge.

Thus, emotionally distant people usually facilitate situations where they do not have to rely on the goodwill of people they do not know well, usually through the adoption of passive attitudes.

2. Avoid physical contact

Compared to other people, the emotionally distant avoid physical contact. This is because touching is more than a physical act: it is an act of intimacy . And intimacy is seen as a way of exposing one’s own vulnerabilities.

For this reason, and partly to avoid setting a precedent, these people make it clear that such gestures are not appreciated unless they come from someone very special or on their own initiative, although the latter is rare.

3. see friendship as formal

In friendship, emotionally distant people show little or no signs of affection. That means that in practice, they have the expectation that friendship is a bond in which they explain things, spend their leisure time and explain opinions, but it is noticeable that they are prone to see certain actions out of place if these do not fit in with what is typically considered friendship.

4. In love, they find it hard to open up

Another consequence of this emotional distancing is that they find it difficult to expose their most intimate side, since this implies showing weaknesses from which someone could come to hurt them emotionally, even without realizing it, simply by knowing them.

This is one of the aspects of his personality that can generate more problems, since love is by definition a bond based on mutual trust . Fortunately, over time, you are usually able to make an exception with your partner and show yourself in a more open way.

5. They don’t like to leave their social comfort zone

Emotionally distant people are not very friendly about communicating excessively with those they know little about, unless doing so has some advantage from an instrumental point of view. Therefore, they usually have a small group of friends.

Bibliographic references:

  • Cloninger, S. (2004). Personality Theories. Argentina: Pearson.
  • Feist, J. (2007). Theories of Personality. Madrid: Mc Graw – Hill.
  • Sollod, R. W. (2009). Introduction to Personality Theories. Spain: Mc Graw – Hill.